Bad mum :(

[heykarumba]

I feel like such a crap mum.

I just couldn't cope with my twins today. They're 20 months. Teething. Angry with me all day. No routine. One twin fell asleep they'd been up since early hours. Another refused to nap. Twin 1 slept hardly slept. Both have been overtired all day. I had to close the doors for 15 mins I just couldn't cope. When I went back in both were hysterical crying I didn't know where to start. I took them both and went for a ride in the car. I'm fine usually but they were both ill and teething and it's the time of the month. Twins are so intense and I need more support at times like this. I'm so angry that my parents aren't there for me. I know I'm not entitled to anything , I just really , really needed them today. And ever since I've become a mum my sister doesn't see me anymore. I know she's busy living her life and I'm happy for her but one day they will need me. Isn't that what family is for. I feel so sad.

DH is helpful and does what he can. I just want someone outside our family unit to chip in sometimes and offer something. No man is an island. Parents of multiples get zero financial help and I've had to leave work as we can't afford childcare.

[Quitedrab]

Oh no! I've had bad days like that and I don't have twins.

I read in a book once that every parent has bad days. Days that start bad, get worse and are in nightmarish territory by evening. The book said most people have several. I certainly did. I wish I knew what to suggest. I didn't have family help either. Maybe, looking back, I would have put them in childcare a bit. Except that I tried and my daughter went crazy, screamed and screamed. So it's not always possible. I'm sorry. I just wanted to write to say you're not the only one, really.

[Quitedrab]

Oh sorry. You said you can't afford childcare, so that was a useless suggestion anyway.

[Isolemnlyswear]

I totally understand, being a parent of twins (My oldest was only 2 when they were born, so I had 3 children under 3) can be tiring and hard work. I remember feeling stressed, tired and to be honestly totally useless as a mother sometimes. They all caught a tummy bug one day and threw up at the same time, I had 3 babies covered in it and just sat and cried for 10 minutes. It's difficult but it won't always be like this, take a deep breath and say I can do this because you can. My twins are nearly 10 and argue constantly, I feel more like boxing referee than a mother some days, so the stress never really goes away but the way you manage it changes. You are stronger than you think and you get through this. If I can do it anyone can.

[heykarumba]

@Isolemnlyswear oh no the sick made me laugh. A cry laugh 😭😭 I'm so tired at the moment , they drive me crazy sometimes.

[Isolemnlyswear]

I can't tell you it gets easier but the things you stress about changes and it's gets less physically demanding. I did go back to work when the twins were 1, childcare absolutely crippled us, but I remember one day I dropped the twins at nursery and parked up a work to hear a little voice say mummy am I not at school today - I was so wrapped up in stuff I had to do that I forgot to take my eldest to school. So I had to explain to his school and my boss that I forgot about him. Hope your feeling a bit better about things, you will get nice days too, and as they get older they do make you laugh.