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What more valuable with a newborn - space or time(24 Posts)
Looking for some opinions as I'm just confusing myself by thinking too much.
DP and I will be TTC for no. 1 this autumn, I will get 6 months paid maternity leave but will then have to go back to work as we couldn't survive on DP's pay.
We currently live in a 2 bed semi, 1 double bedroom (will fit cot), 1 single bedroom, kitchen with small breakfast area and a living room (with no real storage for prams etc. but enough space for a small play area). We also have a reasonable garden (28ft x 30ft).
We can afford to increase our mortgage to buy a small 3 bed semi which would ease some of our immediate storage problems, but we'd probably need to move to a bigger house again later on.
However, if we could make do with the house we are in for the first couple of years after the birth I could afford to stay at home for 12 months, and then move direct to a bigger 3 bed then.
So would you go for extra space or more time at home with you baby?
time! you can get space later but you will never get this time back!
stay with your baby, more valuable definitely, space can come later as you say.
I'd definitely go for time. I had the same situation as you (but no garden) and stayed at home, moved when ds1 was 2.5 and ds2 was 6 months.
We moved into a 2 bed apartment, with limited storage when DD was 16 months old - thorugh choice, not financial reasons. Had plenty of room when DD was small. Should have moved when she was just 3 or 4 months but building was delayed.
We live in a 2 up 2 down terrace with no storage at all, no cupbaords and no garden, it can be tough but not impossible.
I wouldn't increase my mortgage, just enjoy your time together.
When little one is older they will have many more things and that imo is the time to move house!
Also by then you could be back at work so the finicial burden is less, I think you have already answered your own question anyway.
We are in a 2 bedroom flat and dc no.2 will be born early next year. I work 3 days a week. We currently can't afford to move but if I went full time, we could get a bigger place. We already have a small garden so we would gain an extra bedroom and perhaps a dining room.
We have chosen to stay put as we feel these early years are far too important. It's adults who put so much emphasis on space. I grew up in a tiny house and dh was one of seven, so we were both raised in "cramped" houses and thought nothing of it. Children don't need big houses, they need their parents!!
Def time, sounds like your house is plenty big enough for one baby anyway. Honestly, you will probably appreciate the extra few months with your baby as appose to a house that you may have to change in a few years anyway. Oh, and moving whilst pg/with new born, given the choice? You must be mad to consider it
Thanks everyone - that is the conclusion I was coming to, it was just getting confusing as people I know in RL keep on talking about how much stuff babies involve and how we'll never have enough room .
Guess I'll just have to ban the grandparents from overloading the house with acres of plastic toys!
For those of you with small houses and babies - any tips??
Time. I wish I had taken more time. They grow up too quickly - if you have the option financially, and would like to stay with your baby (i.e., you think you'd be happy staying at home, as some women aren't), do it.
A 2 bedroom sounds like enough space to me. If need be, invest in a garden shed for storage.
As you have a good-sized garden could you invest in a nice summer-house type of shed so that you can store prams and things there? There is a lot of child related paraphanalia (sp?) but you probably won't need to use all of it all of the time so outside storage in a suitable container would be very useful.
You probably won't know whether you want to go back after 6 months or a year until you have started your maternity leave, but it's worth putting yourself in a good financial position so that you have the choice, so I would say stay where your are for now.
I have one living area and my kitchen on ground floor, so very small area. I try to keep the living area as an adult space. No toys are kept out at night, only in the day. The are put away each night, this makes things feel more spacious.
Don't overload your self with too many products at first, just buy essentials and add things in later that you feel you do need. Remember baby needs love, warmth, food and somewhere to sleep. It doesn't need frilly over the top accessories. Plenty of time for that when they ask you for what they want, take advantage while they don't talk!
Discourage people buying massive toys, especially great big bloody teddy bears which no nothing! I have just sent 6 to the charity shop which were totally overunning the nursery and even they didn't seem keen to take them
At my MIL's house we doubled up the put-you-up bed as a changing table with the mat on.
Try and declutter as best you can before the baby comes, it will help with your mind as well as clearing some space.
Get a couple of storage boxes from the supermarket - I bought mine from ASDA, only a couple of quid each and keep all ds's toys in them. Before, when I didn't have them, toys seemed to take over.
Can you get some drawers for under the bed? This would help with a bit of storage space too.
Time, not space. I bet you've got more room now than we have (DD is 10 months). I have to agree with everyone else that you do have to be quite determined though, in order to not aquire lots of stuff.
We use a Maclaren Techno Classic, it was suitable from birth, and so we avoided buying a bulky pram. We used a Moses basket at first, so no room needed at all (although DD did sleep better in a cotbed). You don't need a changing table or a baby bath. A garden is marvellous for getting out of the same four walls and blowing off steam (I imagine it's even better for toddlers).
So everyone on MN is right.
I am sick of MIL always asking when are we moving house, why dont we move, we are going to be so cramped when no.2 arrives etc. etc. We are in a 2 bed (1 v. small bedroom) 1 living room 1 kitchen end terrace in a lovely area but unaffordable to move up until Im back at work FT. Weve made the decision to stay where we are until no. 1 is no longer in costly nursery and then I'll go back FT and move.
Id rather be a bit cramped and have time with my LOs than both of us working FT to pay for nursery and a slightly bigger house with the stress of how we'd pay the mortgage if one of us ever lost our job.
Im planning on saying to MIL next time "well if you want to give us 50k then we'll happily move"
Time initially at least. Think I'd do the 6 months ML, staying put, see how you feel about it then . By 18 months-2 I'd think you'll be ready to move somewhere bigger but by the sound of it your garden is a fair size already so you can use that as a play area in the meantime too. Otherwise move before you ttc.
Have you thought of extending? A conservatory?
Would that work out cheaper and less hassle?
Time - as the others have said you never get it back.
Thanks all. Going to set about a major de-clutter and re-organisation to make the space we need. At least it will keep my mind off the 2 stone I want to lose before TTC commences
Right - now to explore the world of selling of ebay rather than just buying
We lived in a very small bungalow. One bed, bath, lounge, small kitchen. At one point there was me and him and our son and our daughter all sleeping in the same room. You kind of live to your means and as long as you keep de-cluttering and try to keep it organised, it does work.
I would stay with your little one for as long as you can possibly get away with. The early years are soooooo important and such a special part of your life that will never return.
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