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Put PFB dd (19mo) in nursery by choice?

(13 Posts)
mezzer Fri 10-Aug-07 20:15:20

I'm in a quandy. I work ft and have a ft nanny (we're living abroad so can actually afford it!) and am wondering about putting dd (19mo) in a nursery for a couple of mornings a week. Should I do it? Is she too young to benefit? My reasons - I want her to have more of a chance to socialise with other toddlers. She's really outgoing with adults and older kids but has no exposure to toddlers at the moment. When she does hang out with other babies, she often gets jealous of toys, sometimes hits, etc (I know, all relatively normal behaviour). So, I wonder if spending a couple mornings a week in a nursery would be good for her. Or, is she too young and there will be time later for her to "learn to share" and all that good stuff? Any thoughts? Experience with this type of thing?

Weegle Fri 10-Aug-07 20:37:40

Can the nanny not take her to toddler groups etc? That would help with the peer-group thing. FWIW I actually think they do get a lot out of socialising with their peers but that can be done in a variety of ways... nursery bring one of them.

mezzer Fri 10-Aug-07 20:39:37

There are no toddler groups where I live. I WISH that was an option. Unless I invented my own... A thought but realistically I don't know enough people with toddlers (hence the lack of contact with them) to get it off the ground.

ThursdayNext Fri 10-Aug-07 20:47:07

I'm not so sure they really get much out of being with other toddlers at this age. Aren't pretty much all children of this age jealous of toys etc, nursery or not?
I would leave it till she's a bit older.

Ladymuck Fri 10-Aug-07 20:53:50

They're going to be frustrated until they can communicate - which a lot of 19m have a problem with. Tbh nursery for social skills is overrated until they are closer to 3. You need ot teach her about boundaries, but that is easier in the absence of toddler. Once she understands boundaries then social interactions cna be faciliated more easily. I'd revel in the fact that she cna have so much one to one at present as that will help her communication etc. That said, no harm in looking at nurseries - you may find one that is so wonderful that you couldn't imagine anything better.

meandmy Fri 10-Aug-07 20:59:02

putting her into a nursery will do one of two things,
make her confident and used to other children her own age.
scare her make her clingy
its personall choice i was going to put my dd in a nursery at 9mo my dp disagreed and so at 14mo she is with me all day everyday!

mezzer Fri 10-Aug-07 21:30:42

I think I'm a bit overworried that she's going to be selfish or something. I suppose all toddlers are selfish...

Ladymuck - how do I teach her about boundaries? If she hits, I take her away and tell her that we don't hit, that it's not nice, etc. I encourage her to share. etc.

Meandmy - do you really think it could cause clingyness? Prob not worth the risk if that's the case. She's not clingy at the moment (except when she's tired).

meandmy Mon 13-Aug-07 13:22:44

all children are different and react in different ways just like adults do when starting a new job etc!
she may love it may hate all depends on your dd.
my dd loves playing with other children and when playing she will often snatch smack bully and i warn her i'll move her then move her!

Pitchounette Mon 13-Aug-07 14:09:46

Message withdrawn

LucyJones Mon 13-Aug-07 14:12:01

I think if you can afford it you have nothing to lose by giving it a go and putting her in for a couple of mornings a week.
Youcan always take her out if it doesn't work out.
What will your nanny do during this time? Will she take her and pick her up?

LIZS Mon 13-Aug-07 14:16:20

Agree with Ladymuck. Can your nanny not find others with similar aged children to form a social circle? She'll be a different child in 6 months to a year, developing her vocabularly and changing behaviour and will probaably be more up for it and get more out of it by then.

mezzer Mon 13-Aug-07 16:56:54

Thanks, again. As usually, there's no "right answer" to this one. I suppose I knew that.

If I found a place within easy walking distance, the nanny could drop her off and pick her up. Otherwise transportation becomes an issue and it's too hot here to walk very far...

I'm going to have a look around. If nothing else, prep research for when she's a bit older. And, will talk to nanny about possibility of people she knows with kids the same age... We have neighbours that are 4 and 5 (one boy, one girl) so she gets to play with them. Maybe I'm worrying too much. Ah, the PFB syndrome... It just upsets me when she acts like a bully with other toddlers.

boo64 Tue 14-Aug-07 21:56:10

Ds has been going to nursery 2 mornings since he was 11m (now 2.1 and just started 3 mornings)

He hated it at first, but loves it now. I think he has got so much out of it - they encourage him to move to the next stage of things that maybe I wouldn't have done e.g. they use open top cups for drinks from 18m but I wouldn't have even started doing that yet.

He tries new foods there that he wouldn't probably try with me etc.

The downsides aren't many for us but occasionally he comes home with a bad habit that I know he has picked up there - but that could happen at playgroups too - e.g. after nursery the last two times he has been 'screaming for fun' which is pretty high pitched and awful and I reckon some other kid at nursery has been doing it.

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