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Feel like a pushy parent(6 Posts)
I feel like I'm always pushing my son into things. He is only 8 but really into rock music and was dead set on becoming a rock star, he would stand there when rock videos were on doing all the air guitar actions etc and saying he was going to be the best player ever. So when I saw a fender elec guitar and amplifier pack for sale for £100 I asked him if he would like it, obviously he was more than enthusiastic, I asked him if he would definately learn to play it, he said yes...I made him promise that he would bother with it, he promised...we bought it and he's hardly touched it so after 4 months of it just being sat there doing nothing I have told him that he will learn to play it and have been making him practice for 10 minutes a night, he says his hands hurt and now believes that you don't need to be able to play guitar to be a rock star etc
Same thing happened with karate, he joined up, loved it, got me to buy him the suit and then quit. Same thing happened again with TaeKwondo. Now the karate has re-opened right around the corner from us and so I'm forcing him to go, its once a week for 2 hours, surely it won't hurt? He needs the exercise and confidence building and obviously the self defence will come in handy too....
Am I wrong to force him to do stuff? thing is I know he wants to do these things, he's just too bloody lazy.
No - I think enforcing 'staying power' with hobbies is good. So long as overall you've a balance (e.g. perhaps ask him which he likes better and drop the other one).
Think he is just normal tbh - I am a bit loathed for ds1 to join stuff though as he has the attention span of a nat with no head and the phrase fad doesn't come close - he can flit between what is his favourite stuff in nanoseconds - have to say though DH and I are thinking about tae-kwondo for a bit of discipline!
Yes, I do think that you are right to be a bit 'pushy'... If you were not I would not think that it would help him at all... My DH was NEVER pushed by his parents at all and he is not the most motivated of people and isn't really one to try new things or make changes in his job etc, even if he is not particularly happy with it, i do think it often comes down to a confidence thing...
My own DS1 (6) started Beavers and didn't like it - but I have encouraged/made! him go and give it a proper try (I've even been staying for some of the sessions) I think it'll (hopefully) gives him a message not to give up too easily and to give things a proper try... And it gives him the chance to do something different, meet other boys, build some confidence...
I think it also helps not to leap in and support the idea of an interest but kind of make them earn it IYKWIM.
My DS is now 14 but hwne he was interested in karate I bought the gear and took him down there. He got bored. Then tennis. Bought the racket signed up for the lessons. Bored. etc etc. Now if he expresses an interest I make him find out about it, contribute to the cost of any equipment etc. He has just sold a load of old game cube games on ebay so that he can buy more practice balls for cricket and a new bat. He is much more engaged - invested in it.
I was trying to be the good mummy but the only thing he signed up for was to be interested and when that was gone it was over. Now he is making a committment and he wants to see improvement himself.
I do think some of that naturally comes with maturity but now with DD I do a similar thing and she is much more determined. But perhaps that is a girl thing?
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