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Parenting parking bays Rant?!

(74 Posts)
LittleDidIKnowThen Sat 31-Aug-19 17:51:03

I have recently had a baby and I’ve suddenly noticed the amount of people using parenting bays who think it’s okay as they have a car seat in their car with no baby shock well today I struggled to get a parenting bay as there isn’t many so I had to park across the other side of the car park so the chances of somebody parking next to me are slim as I have to get a car seat out.

I noticed a lady use a parenting bay with her son who was around 10-12. Am I wrong to be annoyed?

Why couldn’t he get out of the car in a normal bay?

Tell me your thoughts maybe I’m wrong confused

GertrudeCB Sat 31-Aug-19 17:52:57

This has been done to death. It's annoying BUT parent parking is not a legal right.

Jesse70 Sat 31-Aug-19 17:57:08

I think alot of the bays are up to 12 years of age

ChanklyBore Sat 31-Aug-19 17:59:31

You don’t have to get a car seat out. You have to get a baby out. Babies are pretty small. They stay still, and they don’t run into the road when your back is turned.

I’m not advocating people taking the piss, but children and car seats do get progressively larger and more awkward...

sleepyhead Sat 31-Aug-19 18:00:24

Brace yourself...

readyforchangenow Sat 31-Aug-19 18:01:25

Here we go

FuckFacePlatapus Sat 31-Aug-19 18:02:57

Yabu, parenting does not stop as soon as your baby walks. The other parent had her child with her, perfectly entitled to park there. Stop being so precious and entitled.

LittleDidIKnowThen Sat 31-Aug-19 18:03:16

Chankleybore I do have to get a car seat out as mine clips into the chassis

cantmovewont Sat 31-Aug-19 18:04:45

I've parked with my 10 year old son in one of these bays because being a type 1 diabetic he was having a low blood sugar episode and I had to get him something sugary asap.

I hope you never find yourself in that situation.

Be wary before you judge. And yes, to a pp a lot of these bays are for up to 12.

LittleDidIKnowThen Sat 31-Aug-19 18:07:54

Cantmovewont that’s obviously justified not every 12 year old has diabetes.

pistolknight Sat 31-Aug-19 18:08:29

There’s no legal right to park in a parent and child bay they’re a courtesy. your child won’t melt if you park far away.

Some people need to be close - parents are not included in that category unless they have a child with disabilities or are disabled themselves. I wish they would put parent and child spaces further away tbh to stop the entitlement.

Ours are closer than than the bb spaces so I park in them all the time (with a bb) with or without children.

Ember12 Sat 31-Aug-19 18:08:35

YABU what's everyone's obsession over these spaces if you can't use a normal space maybe you shouldn't drive

ChanklyBore Sat 31-Aug-19 18:08:44

You really don’t. You have chosen equipment that means you want to take the car seat out - but you don’t have to. You can choose many other ways to transport a baby that don’t rely on the availability of extra wide car parking spaces.

Roselilly36 Sat 31-Aug-19 18:09:58

Please don’t judge, not every disability is visible. Shame on them if they abuse these spaces unnecessarily. But as PP says parent bays are not a legal necessity as opposed to disabled parking bays.

Lunafortheloveogod Sat 31-Aug-19 18:14:29

We don’t take our car seat out, they’re not meant to be in them for long anyway so why leave them crumpled up in it for any longer than needed.

12year old could have multiple different issues some visible some not I wouldn’t object, rather that than him swing the door full force n dent a car.

What I do object to is sports cars/fancy cars with no car seat/child or ability to fit one in etc parked in those bays so no one touches their precious car.

EssentialHummus Sat 31-Aug-19 18:16:35

This comes up a lot on MN. Fwiw, I agree with you OP. And while there are many hidden disabilities, there are also lots of entitled cunts.

ImagineRainbows Sat 31-Aug-19 18:17:55

@LittleDidIKnowThen Babies shouldn’t be in car seats unless they are travelling and even then no longer than 1 hour at a time. They can cause positional asphyxiation and have been responsible for some babies deaths sadly. It’s why supermarkets are slowly stopping the trolleys that you attach a car seat to also. You really should be just getting baby out and leaving the car seat.

ImagineRainbows Sat 31-Aug-19 18:21:14

This shows the latest research.

CmdrCressidaDuck Sat 31-Aug-19 18:23:26

Oh, here we go again.

1) done to death
2) she did have a child
3) your PFB is not the first baby on earth, people have been managing for donkeys without these bloody spaces
4) done. To. Death.

Bunnybigears Sat 31-Aug-19 18:24:19

I always just used to park on an end of the row so the door where I needed to get the car seat in and out was on the 'free' side or in a very quiet part of the car park and hope for the best. I'm not sure why people feel they cant cope without special spaces.

LittleDidIKnowThen Sat 31-Aug-19 18:25:19

I appreciate everyone’s opinion I am well aware of the guidelines with car seats. Please don’t be rude to me.

MaryBerriesNiece Sat 31-Aug-19 18:26:58

FFS. Having a baby does not entitle you to a parking space 🙄. Park your car, get baby/child out, walk to shops/wherever you’re going. I often wonder how some people get through life...

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Sat 31-Aug-19 18:29:57

They’re not parenting bays, they’re parent and child parking bays.

They are a courtesy. Not a legal right. Practice parking in normal bays so you get better at managing the car seat removal. There won’t always be a parent and child bay. They never used to exist and we all managed fine.

Some people have disabilities that don’t require them to Wear a sign proclaiming it. They might park in a P&C bay if there are no disabled bays free. They don’t have to explain this to anyone.

LittleDidIKnowThen Sat 31-Aug-19 18:36:46

I guess everyone is guilty of making a judgement error & perhaps on this case I’m
Guilty of that. I just wanted others opinions.

I might have to ditch this thread & run...

ImNotYourGranny Sat 31-Aug-19 18:37:56

Why are you bothered? You found a parking space and got your baby out. Job done.

PurpleDaisies Sat 31-Aug-19 18:39:34

You might want to look at other threads where this issue has come up. There are a LOT of them.

DENMAN03 Sat 31-Aug-19 18:40:10

How do you cope where there are only normal spaces?

MmmBlowholes Sat 31-Aug-19 18:40:16

Mumsnet: a place where you're an idiot for hoping people use facilities made for them and that people don't abuse them.

Also mumsnet: what? A transwoman in MY TOILETS?!?!?!

june2007 Sat 31-Aug-19 18:44:44

Consenses is can be used to child s 12, but not a legal thing anyway.

PurpleDaisies Sat 31-Aug-19 18:47:41

It depends on the car park. There are signs.

LaMarschallin Sat 31-Aug-19 18:55:59

Triggering warning

I've been attending therapy for many years because I had my children before there were parenting spaces!
I'm sorry you have to hear something so disgusting but I'd park my car (or "horseless carriage" as they were called in the Dark Ages) in the carpark of the supermarket (or "shopping emporium") and get my children out and go shopping.

You tell that to young people of today and they'd never believe you.

Flamingo84 Sat 31-Aug-19 18:56:48

I’m with you OP. It’s not the closeness to the shops that make them useful it’s the wider space. I wouldn’t care if they were at the furthest point away from the entrance.

Trying to get a car seat that clips into the pushchair out of the door with a heavy baby in when you can’t open the door wide enough is a PITA. Getting any child that’s not able to climb down alone out of the car with the door not fully open is awkward. Even worse when you get back to your car and someone has parked an inch away from the door.

They’re offered as a convenience and I don’t expect them wherever I go. But if they have them and people without their kids park in them it is annoying. Also I have a disability that hinders my mobility but I’ve never requested a blue badge. If I have a day where I can walk, I’ll just do it, if not I have to stay home. I don’t expect the world to work around me or my PFB.

Rubicon80 Sat 31-Aug-19 19:10:33

Also I have a disability that hinders my mobility but I’ve never requested a blue badge. If I have a day where I can walk, I’ll just do it, if not I have to stay home. I don’t expect the world to work around me or my PFB.

you would rather stay at home than request a blue badge to which you are entitled, and yet you you object to people using parent and child parking spaces?that's just... very strange

modgepodge Sat 31-Aug-19 19:28:04

The 12 year old could have had diabetes, or been disabled. But they probably weren’t, let’s be honest.

Yes, it is possible to park in non parent and child spaces with a baby. But it does make it easier, and agree it’s annoying when they are taken by people for whom they aren’t intended. I’d never say anything, in case the person had a genuine reason for using it. But I have had to park in a busy car park in the only space available (not all are empty with a space far away from the shop to give extra room to open doors), struggle to get baby out (not cos I can’t park but because cars either side were fairly close ) and built my pram in the bit where cars are driving past. Not ideal...a first world problem for sure but still, I’d be frustrated if I’d done that and a P&C space had been used by someone who was simply feeling a bit lazy 🤷‍♀️

OrchidInTheSun Sat 31-Aug-19 19:31:55

Mmmblowholes:
'Mumsnet: a place where you're an idiot for hoping people use facilities made for them and that people don't abuse them.

Also mumsnet: what? A transwoman in MY TOILETS?!?!?!'

Those two positions appear to be entirely consistent. Are you implying they aren't?

WhoKnewBeefStew Sat 31-Aug-19 19:35:48

Yes you are wrong to be annoyed.... just because you have a child doesn't mean you should get preferential treatment in the car park.. if you can't cope with push chairs or child seats when parking next to other cars, park further away and walk.

Personally I'd like all PAC spaces removed and I'd rather see more blue badge ones in their place

Lofari Sat 31-Aug-19 19:37:48

People can't win either way. We have a blue badge for our son, and each time we park in disabled bays people stare. I actually heard a woman mutter today 'which one of those has a bloody disability?'
Come and ask me love........my 4 year old has muscular dystrophy.

HotChocolateLover Sat 31-Aug-19 19:38:48

You need to get over it OP. Nothing you can do about it.

LaMarschallin Sat 31-Aug-19 19:44:25

But I have had to park in a busy car park in the only space available (not all are empty with a space far away from the shop to give extra room to open doors), struggle to get baby out (not cos I can’t park but because cars either side were fairly close ) and built my pram in the bit where cars are driving past.

Well, it just goes to show that the olden days weren't all bad.

You could get a ready-built pram (we called it a "perambulator" then) or a "pushchair" that you could give a quick kick to unfold, stick your baby in it and be off.
And get your week's shopping for 10 people for a farthing.
With 2 groats in change!

Happy days.

thunderthighsohwoe Sat 31-Aug-19 19:47:50

Aren’t the whole point of parent and child bays not to make it easier for the parent, but to avoid adjacent cars being reduced to scrap metal when you are attempting to wrestle a baby seat/wriggling toddler/tantruming preschooler out? They’re certainly not closer to the entrance in any of the stores in our nearest town.

Re babies not being in car seats for too long, well I was in the early days very guilty of this. Forgive me, but if my stitches were killing me and the baby FINALLY fell asleep in the car on the ten minute journey to the shop, I had no intention whatsobloody ever of waking said baby up just to nip into the shop for painkillers.

Jesse70 Sat 31-Aug-19 19:55:08

My dad's car was hit by a door because some young kids threw the door open in a normal space so I think they should make all spaces slightly bigger especially when u have a bigger vehicle/van or at least have bays for big ass vans because they are not catered for at all and if u park at the other end of the carpark some fuckers still park next to u lol

Stapelberg Sat 31-Aug-19 21:34:26

OP in with you on this one. It's rediculous. The bays may not be a legal right but they're there for a reason - to make getting babies and toddlers and young children in and out of cars easier. If not, why bother having them at all? It really gets on my nerves when I see people wothout car seats and no kids use these. Maybe you don't like taking your baby out of the car in a car seat, but OP does and that's her right. People moan about much less trivial stiff on here so let the poor parent have her say without getting rude. Nobody says you have to do what OP is doing. I agree OP, these spaces make life w a small person just so much more convenient...

Rubicon80 Sat 31-Aug-19 21:40:50

@LaMarschallin

I don't hold with these new-fangled horseless carriages. I just walk. I have these funny archaic attachments called 'legs' which propel me from A to B, and these other odd protuberances called 'hands' that allow me to push the perambulator AND carry my provisions. Yee-har!

LaMarschallin Sat 31-Aug-19 21:57:06

@Rubicon80

Those sound wonderful!
I'm going to buy me some.

Well, as soon as I can get out of the old jalopy. I've been stuck in this non-parenting parking space for some time and, naturally, haven't been able to get out of the car with baby LaMarschallin.

Mind you, she's nearly 22 years old now so soon may able to yell for help.

NannaNoodleman Sat 31-Aug-19 22:05:30

This HAS been done to death but...

I don't think people's issue is that you can't use a normal bay with a child it's that these super convenient bags have been installed and are being hijacked by lazy bastards who use them to perpetuate their idleness.

The P&C bags were wonderful when mine were babies as they were so convenient and made life slightly nicer when you're postpartum (small things, eh). I could easily use the normal bays and had to on many occasions. That's all fine but it pissed me right off when I saw able-idle people using them to nip in quickly on their lunch break!

Oh... and my parents didn't have the same car park struggle because they had local shops which they could walk to and when they had us in a car they didn't have to strap us into car seats, they'd let us roll around on something barely more than a bench.

FairyDust92 Sat 31-Aug-19 22:22:01

YABU what's everyone's obsession over these spaces if you can't use a normal space maybe you shouldn't drive

The whole point of these spaces are that they are bigger either side to be able to get your children in/out.. in most normal spaces people don't usually park well and its becomes harder to open the door to get the baby or car seat out! We recently had this and had to move the car forward to get the baby in! Not a safe thing to do really is it!

I also hate it when people park in the spaces without a child OP!

FairyDust92 Sat 31-Aug-19 22:22:57

Oops was meant to make the first bit bold

YABU what's everyone's obsession over these spaces if you can't use a normal space maybe you shouldn't drive*

Toddlerteaplease Sat 31-Aug-19 22:24:19

I was wondering the other week if I could park in a parent and child bay as I was with my dad and I'm his child! wink

Wereeaglesdare Sat 31-Aug-19 22:25:10

Omg all these people giving the OP a hard time the bloody spaces are designed for mums and babies. At 12 unless disability I would think you would be capable of opening a door without slamming it in to the other door.

OP it actually makes me fume too especially when the children are actually 18 or when lazy people just want to run in. Why shouldn't we make use of the one perk of having a baby and doing a shop hey! Everything else is so fucking difficult to get out or the house and do. So just give us this one bloody necessary perk will you!!
That's what there fucking designed for.

Some man tried to have a go at me when I was 9 months pregnant for parking there when in fact they are actually for expectant mums also. States asda anyway. I fear in my hormonal state I may have embarrassed him across the car park when he said there actually for parents n children love. I said well I'm actually 9 months pregnant love. He became rather red faced and apologised alot. and yes I found it hard to squeeze my bump in and out the car. So obviously we are not the only ones who get wound up about this.

It's hard to get a baby in and out of a car when everyone drives massive bloody cars nowadays.

Flamingo84 Sat 31-Aug-19 23:05:18

@Rubicon80 I didn’t say anywhere in my post that I objected to them using the spaces. I said they’re convenient and that it’s annoying when they’re sometimes used by people without their kids.

Also I know my disability, you don’t. 70% of the time I’m fine to walk, why should I get preferential treatment? I’d feel like an imposter using a disabled bay, I’ve seen enough threads about people with invisible illnesses being confronted outside disabled toilets!

CornishMaid1 Sun 01-Sep-19 14:57:09

I don't know why mumsnet are so anti P&C spaces. Yes they are not legally required but some car parks provide them and the condition is they are for P&C. Done do allow up to 12 which does seem too hold.

Part of the problem is that over time cars have gotten bigger and the parking spaces narrower so they are useful. I do think they should be further away from the shop and they may not be abused as much.

Saying that, our local sainsburys re-did the car park and added double lines between each normal space so that if everyone parks between their lines there is a gap between so you can get out more easily.

surreygirl1987 Sun 01-Sep-19 17:09:25

I think people are being unfairly harsh to the OP. It's not just about getting the baby out of the car but part of the issue is where the pram is. I personally feel much safer with the pram next to my car in the wide space, than behind my car potentially in the way of traffic. My local Morrison's is especially dangerous for this. It's a very tight carpark and the P&C spaces are so much safer.

Additionally, it's perhaps worth noting that whilst many places do still call them 'parent and child' spaces, some supermarkets have now renamed them 'parent and baby' spaces, with a pram underneath as a logo to reinforce the point. I know it's not a legal entitlement, but they do serve a purpose.

That said, I do agree with the poster who commented that there isn't a need to have them right by the entrance. At my local Tescos there's a walkway between some of the spaces which is much safer than pushing a pram through a chaotic carpark. I would much prefer to park by the walkway than a P&C space so I dont have to worry about cars reversing into the pram etc. It would actually be better if the P&C (or P&B!) spaces were further away from the entrance but a) wider than normal spaces, and b) by some sort of walkway the store. This would prevent those who don't really need the space from using it out of laziness, but give additional safety to parents who genuinely want this for their child at the expense of an extra half a minute of walking 👌

BlueMoon1103 Sun 01-Sep-19 19:43:32

Some people on this thread are nasty. So what if it’s been ‘done to death’? Don’t comment! Also I get annoyed about this and no they’re not a legal right but it is courtesy that if you’ve got a child old enough to get themselves in and out of a car safely or don’t need to use the bays then don’t. You’re making a parent of a young child’s life more inconvenient than yours would be! No baby/young child? Park somewhere else. Selfish.

Rubicon80 Sun 01-Sep-19 20:01:45

@Flamingo84 Also I know my disability, you don’t. 70% of the time I’m fine to walk, why should I get preferential treatment? I’d feel like an imposter using a disabled bay, I’ve seen enough threads about people with invisible illnesses being confronted outside disabled toilets!

If you are entitled to a blue badge for the 30% of the time when you are unable to walk, then it's not 'preferential' treatment for you to use one. It's what you are entitled to as a person with a disability that severely limits your mobility.

No one in their right mind would object to you using one.

If you would feel 'like an imposter' when your disability is not causing you such difficulties, then just don't use the disabled bays at those times. It's crazy to 'stay at home' rather than use a blue badge that you have every right to use.

Kuponut Sun 01-Sep-19 20:11:42

I use one with those nasty evil "older" children (you wait OP - yours will be a loud galumphing one soon enough) - the wider space means I can get the doors fully open and help a child with motor skill and coordination difficulties to get safely seatbelted in. Had the evil looks from mums with babies in those "baby in a bucket" type car seats a couple of times getting mine out of the car at the local supermarket because of it.

wijjjy Sun 01-Sep-19 22:57:31

> Omg all these people giving the OP a hard time the bloody spaces are designed for mums and babies.

sexist arse.

Wereeaglesdare Sun 01-Sep-19 23:41:23

@wijjjy

Oh piss off will you mums dad's fucking grandparents fucking aliens with Babies! I mentioned mums because this forum is mainly mums clues in the fucking name. Stupid fucking comment that I'm sexist.

WhyBirdStop Mon 02-Sep-19 09:22:18

I don't object to anyone with a child using one, you don't know if they have SEN etc which makes crossing a carpark challenging or risky, I do however object to low rent sales men using them as lunch spots. Last week I had to do the same as you, park right across the carpark (someone then parked right up close rather than use one of the other dozen empty spaces, as I walked past the parent and child bays three were taken by men in crumpled shirts either on a laptop or phone, eating a sandwich.

whattodowith Mon 02-Sep-19 14:14:30

They are parent and child bays, not baby and child. I have used them with my DC before baby DS was born. Children tend to open car doors pretty carelessly, the extra room can be the difference between them scraping someone else’s car or not.

whattodowith Mon 02-Sep-19 14:14:59

I meant not parent and baby obvs.

CAK111512 Mon 02-Sep-19 20:03:40

I still use a parent and child bay when I’m out with my 8 year old if I can. He has autism and often swings the doors out without a care in the world so I have to ensure that he doesn’t hit another car with my door.

If there’s no parent and child space find an end space so you will have space to get a car seat in and out. Problem solved.

CAK111512 Mon 02-Sep-19 20:04:25

I did recently get annoyed when I seen someone get out of one with a child of shoot 15 though. I think it’s up to age 12. They aren’t just for babies!

surreygirl1987 Mon 02-Sep-19 21:19:19

Well, actually some ARE now labelled 'parent and baby', as I explained in a previous post, and are therefore intended specifically for parents with babies rather than older children. I agree most are still parent and child though.

Anyone seen that scene in The Letdown about Parent and Child spaces? I bet the woman having a go was a Mumsnet fanatic 😂

popcorndiva Mon 02-Sep-19 21:24:18

Yep Morrisons have them clearly labelled as Baby and Toddler now.

Kacieann123 Tue 03-Sep-19 14:12:23

I use them all the time with my 10 year old. Doesn’t matter how old your child is or children are. They are PARENT and CHILD bays. and the last time I looked a 12 year old is still a child. Sorry but what makes your child anymore important than the child. They are children. They got there first so look for another space. We all pay road tax and insurance. And no more important than another.

surreygirl1987 Tue 03-Sep-19 23:16:52

Again... see the post above yours and the post above that. Some supermarkets are beginning to label them specially Parent and BABY spaces now. 🙄

Kacieann123 Wed 04-Sep-19 07:36:11

And this is the prime example about people who have babies and believe they are more entitled than any one else in the world. ‘I have had a baby and I need and deserve that space’ woman who have had babies before them spaces were invented survived perfectly fine but now the entire world has made mothers believe they are deserving and expect the red carpet to be rolled out for them. Them spaces were made to make it easier for mothers not because you deserve it. If I can’t get a child space I don’t bitch about it. You find another space to deal with it.

FrancisCrawford Wed 04-Sep-19 07:44:30

You were able to park and get your kid out of the car.

Why get so hung up about a particular space?

june2007 Wed 04-Sep-19 09:22:28

I think my morrisons has parent and child not babies and toddlers.

surreygirl1987 Wed 04-Sep-19 19:42:26

@june2007 maybe so.

@kacieann123 I don't think this thread is about entitlement. I think it's about frustration. I was frustrated the other day when a woman with no child was parked in a parent and child space, meaning I had to walk across a very busy carpark with my baby in his pram and navigate all the cars reversing and trying to get past each other, rather than walking more safely on the walkway by the P&C spaces. I saw her getting into her car on my way back to mine, and said something. She had the decency to apologise.

A few weeks ago I had a scenario when a car reversed quickly right into me without looking- I was crossing the carpark between cars (there was a queue to get out - my local supermarket is mental). Luckily I kind of threw myself forward out of the way, and ended up just a bit bruised and shaken. Had a go at the man about looking before he reverses in future (he was incredibly apologetic and so worried). But if I'd have had my little boy with me I don't know what would have happened. That incident showed me the importance of P&C spaces. Now, I'm not saying that this applies only to babies. I imagine it could have been similarly if i had, say, a 5 year old with me - I've read that they often don't get spotted by cars reversing as they're so little. But I do think a bit of common sense is needed by people. Those people who park in a P&C space with a typical 12 or 13 year old child (I'm a secondary school teacher by the way so see children of this age every day and the vast majority are more than capable of getting safely across a carpark with their parent), do annoy me when I'm there in front of my car trying to put my pram together in the middle of a stream of traffic.

That said, if it was a reasonably quiet, unchaotic carpark, and I felt safe walking with my baby in the carpark 'road' between my car and supermarket, I wouldn't have an issue. Again, common sense should prevail.

LittleDidIKnowThen Wed 04-Sep-19 23:03:29

I didn’t set out to start a war about parking bays. Surreygirl1987 summed it up perfectly. I don’t see myself as being more entitled than any other parent. However I feel a child of 10-12 should be able to remove themselves from a car without extra space for the door to open & her thenselves safely to the store. Car parks are crazy people just back out without looking and it’s dangerous with a pushchair. To all the people who said park further away, by the time I got back to my car people have parked either side of me so I just have to wait for them to return to put my car seat back in, I can’t move my car & leave my baby on the road in her pushchair. Thanks surreygirl1987

Chocolatelover45 Thu 05-Sep-19 11:05:52

If your 8 year old can't open a door carefully then apply the child lock - this does not require you to use a wide space!

surreygirl1987 Thu 05-Sep-19 14:55:53

Cheers @LittleDidIKnowThen

MrsPellegrinoPetrichor Thu 05-Sep-19 14:59:02

Why couldn’t he get out of the car in a normal bay?

Why couldn't you? Sure,it's nice to have some extra room but not essential surely?

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