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Children alone on 2.5hr taxi trip

(80 Posts)
user1467634265 Mon 26-Aug-19 11:37:55

I would value your thoughts on the following situation ...

3 lively boys (5,9,11). Mother and father live 100 miles apart after M moved away with the children. Children have alternate weekends with F. M has to get children to F after school on a Friday and F has to return them on a Sunday night.

M is proposing to use a DBS cleared taxi driver to do the 2.5 - 3.5 hour journey and will NOT be accompanying the children on the trip. The driver comes recommended as someone who does school runs for a local school. Driver has done one trip with M accompanying the children.

F has concerns about the arrangement.

Thoughts gratefully received 🙂.

SmartPlay Mon 26-Aug-19 12:15:50

I don't see a problem with this, especially if the driver is used to driving children travelling alone.

But why does a 100 mile trip take 2,5-3,5 hours?

user1467634265 Mon 26-Aug-19 12:17:52

City centre driving and country lanes. On a good run its 2.5hrs. On a bad day it could be 4hrs +.

Mintjulia Mon 26-Aug-19 12:20:27

If it’s a specific driver, properly checked and the three children are together, no, I don’t see a problem.
If the 11 yo has a phone, that would add an extra level of reassurance.

SmartPlay Mon 26-Aug-19 12:20:51

Wow, sounds very tedious.

euro23451277 Mon 26-Aug-19 12:24:58

Doesn’t sound an issue but what if one Of the boys needs the toilet? Would you be happy the taxi stopping and the eldest taking the boys to the toilet? just one to think about

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Mon 26-Aug-19 12:26:27

I'd be very surprised if a taxi driver was willing to be solely responsible for three unaccompanied children?

Mummyshark2018 Mon 26-Aug-19 12:27:20

I wouldn't be happy with this. An hour maybe but that length of time you need to think about rest breaks/ loo breaks/ food/ drink/ entertainment.

Shantotto Mon 26-Aug-19 12:27:47

No way. It wouldn’t be fair on the 11 year old for a start - they’d be default in charge if anyone needed to stop or was car sick or something happened. Can’t imagine the taxi driver giving much of a shit of being very happy if something happened.

TitianaTitsling Mon 26-Aug-19 12:27:49

Will M be paying solely for taxi or seeking money from F also?

TitianaTitsling Mon 26-Aug-19 12:28:57

And would it be in emergency circs only or does M not wish to do the journey? I don't think it's a good idea.

PalindromicUser Mon 26-Aug-19 12:29:03

Yeah absolutely not. My kids start bickering after about half an hour in the car with us, I can’t see how this would be any different. Not a great idea.

user1467634265 Mon 26-Aug-19 12:30:33

My will be paying but its far more expensive than a childminder/nanny on a train on the train so it isn't based on financial considerations.

Mrsjayy Mon 26-Aug-19 12:30:54

I can't see a taxi driver wanting to be solely responsible for 3 children for 3 hours ? I Feel for the kids having to sit in acar for that length of time without an adult they know .

user1467634265 Mon 26-Aug-19 12:31:58

It would be every 2 weeks. M seems not to spend the time doing the journey. F will be accompanying the children on the return trip.

Mrsjayy Mon 26-Aug-19 12:33:19

What if they start bickering or want the toilet?

Comefromaway Mon 26-Aug-19 12:33:21

My concern would be a child needing the toilet, or feeling unwell/being travel sick or the 5 year old playing up etc.

I can’t see a taxi driver agreeing to that without an escort.

Kerberos Mon 26-Aug-19 12:33:44

Still doesn't sound ideal but given M has accompanied the children once, she's confident in his ability to handle them, they've now met the driver and he's got experience of handling them and their ages it seems like a reasonable solution.

Would be better if M and F worked together to find a better solution though but if it's court ordered this way I guess all other compromises have been exhausted.

I feel most for the kids in this to be honest.

BogglesGoggles Mon 26-Aug-19 12:33:55

When I was growing up there was a spate of taxi drivers sexually abusing children on trips from home to school. It was also general advice for vulnerable people (lone women, children, drunk) not to take taxis unaccompanied. There is no way I would put my children in a car with a strange man for 2.5-3.5 hours.

user1467634265 Mon 26-Aug-19 12:34:03

Taxi driver is 75. Has been a parent before. But three lively bickering boys, one of which is only 5, for what could be over 4 hours is quite an ask for anyone.

Shplot Mon 26-Aug-19 12:34:27

I’ve been told my son has to do that every day to go to school but it’s not something I’m comfortable with

PalindromicUser Mon 26-Aug-19 12:35:12

OP who are you in all of this? I’m guessing you’re on F’s side?

AllFourOfThem Mon 26-Aug-19 12:36:32

I would have no issues with this taxi driver driving my children. However, due to the ages it is more than just a driving concern - they effectively need to be parented during the journey because of its length and the possibility of a need for toilet or for breaks. If the journey can take up to 4+ hours then it seems very unfair to expect a taxi driver to do all of this (if indeed they would do so). I think one parent should do one journey each with the children or else is responsible for paying for a suitable adult to take their place.

user1467634265 Mon 26-Aug-19 12:36:49

@Kerberos .. court didn't order an unaccompanied taxi journey. It is Ms plan to get boys to F which she must do on a Friday night.

bionicnemonic Mon 26-Aug-19 12:38:10

Personally I wouldn’t be happy about that. My 17yo DS doesn’t like taxis (and come to think of it I don’t either) as being alone with someone you don’t know in a confined space isn’t in the least relaxing. What if something happened? Anything, even something minor. I saw a taxi load of people stranded on the motorway a couple of weeks ago...how would he get them all out to safety behind a barrier?

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