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Do you ever feel like you can't get anything right with your kid(s)?

(33 Posts)
souvenir Sun 05-Aug-07 22:24:09

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TranquilaManana Sun 05-Aug-07 22:28:12

oh god. all the time.

well, not all the time.
but lots.

i sometimes read nice constructive uplifting gentle parenting books and sometimes that helps. sometimes it makes it worse...

TranquilaManana Sun 05-Aug-07 22:28:59

siblings without rivalry i was reading earlier today. used some of it on the dc and by jove it worked!

cameroonmama Sun 05-Aug-07 22:36:08

souvenir, I have just started a thread on dd (5) on behaviour. I am relieved you feel the same, sometimes I feel I have spent the whole day saying no/don't do that/talk like that/stop crying/go to your room with barely any good moments. With a 3 month old and ds (3) I wonder if she just needs some more mummy attention or if it is just 5 year olds, girls in particular, a lot of whom are like this?

souvenir Sun 05-Aug-07 22:38:39

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souvenir Sun 05-Aug-07 22:40:01

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msappropriate Sun 05-Aug-07 22:40:25

Only when i'm awake

My 4 yr old boy seems like your 5 yr old girls. I just put it down to being a crap mother! Its nice to know there are others going through the same thing.

cameroonmama Sun 05-Aug-07 22:43:15

DDs friends mums say that theirs are also like that at home, though naturally when they come here to play they are angels

Dh says it is a mother/daughter thing..

MIL says it is an age thing.

TranquilaManana Sun 05-Aug-07 22:43:58

cameroonmama - you might like the siblings without rivalry one - first chapter all about dealing with a new baby coming in...

souvenir... um... you have usual candidates? so... 'how to talk etc', 'letting go as children grow'(?) you have?

can go and look on shelves if you like

i have a bad habit of buying them in despair, and not reading them

souvenir Sun 05-Aug-07 22:44:07

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TranquilaManana Sun 05-Aug-07 22:45:26

ditto ditto souvenir. you are so not alone.

souvenir Sun 05-Aug-07 22:45:41

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Tortington Sun 05-Aug-07 22:46:14

can't say i liked my dd much until she was 6 or 7. is thats any help

she is the bestest person in the world ever now she is 14.

cameroonmama Sun 05-Aug-07 22:48:33

what a lovely thing to say custardo

souvenir Sun 05-Aug-07 22:49:05

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TranquilaManana Sun 05-Aug-07 22:50:22

the book of nurturing is all nice and lentilly too. but sensible sounding stuff too. bit fluffy at times, but thats usually what i need if im reading that sort of thing!!

yes, does sound like letting go might be an issue for you both... cant say as i do the worrying while theyre at school thing though

souvenir Sun 05-Aug-07 22:50:32

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TranquilaManana Sun 05-Aug-07 22:51:47

one is intense. esp if its just you. i dont have that intensity to deal with. dont kick yourself for that, trust me.

cameroonmama Sun 05-Aug-07 22:52:13

souvenir, I am exactly the same, I say each morning I am going to be so positive with her today and 5 mins later I am saying no to something she wants to do, cue tears, me feeling guilty etc

I'm sure she would be the same whether she was a single child or not, she has always been pretty demanding of me, I shouldn't compain really as she is very bright and just wants to learn and question everything.

souvenir Sun 05-Aug-07 22:52:17

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TranquilaManana Sun 05-Aug-07 22:53:42

gut feeling? sounds v much like the problems feel overwhelming and enormous right now, but can really quite simply and gently be remedied and before you know it, you'll be walking round a bit lighter and less wound up tight like a coil.

TranquilaManana Sun 05-Aug-07 22:54:27

ah yes. iSWYM.
yeah, i do that too

souvenir Sun 05-Aug-07 22:55:10

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Tortington Sun 05-Aug-07 22:55:30

she wasn't likeable, she was so very angry for no reason - just one hell of an angry kid. she banged doors stomped up the stairs, beat her twin brother up...she had ishoos man .

i didn't focus on it as much as your doing - becuase i have 2 boys as well and if she went off on a tant, i had better things to do than waste my energy.

its all attention seeking.

she was trying to make her existance known.

i honestly think the way to go is ignoring her. and tell her straight that mummy isn't entertaining her until she can be nice.

kids ned discipline - so dont beat yourself up about the discipline part.

my DD found her groove at school, being more intelligent than her brothers, having her own friends becuase her brothers played together an expluded her becuase she was a girl so once she got into the throws of school with school friends and school work - she found her niche and has been great ever since.

good luck.

TranquilaManana Sun 05-Aug-07 22:56:02

poor dd??

youre writing this arent you? you care so much its tying you up in knots dont you? youre actively looking for ways to improve life for her and you arent you?

lucky dd.
repeat that to yourself often.

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