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saying no ...

(21 Posts)
nappyaddict Mon 16-Jul-07 23:27:57

after reading the parenting protocols thread can someone tell me why i am not supposed to say this to my ds again?

seems bonkers to me.

Tortington Mon 16-Jul-07 23:28:42

dont listen to the fuckin hippies. ffs.

MamaGryffindor Mon 16-Jul-07 23:29:35


MamaGryffindor Mon 16-Jul-07 23:29:55

(custy don't you mean KMAYFH)

moondog Mon 16-Jul-07 23:30:14

Who said this?

Tortington Mon 16-Jul-07 23:30:55

PMSL mamaG

yay <said with gusto> KMAH

EscapeFrom Mon 16-Jul-07 23:30:57

well it depends on whether you enjoy 3 hour convoluted converstations with a 3.6 year old, of which he only understands 10% anyway.

Do say no. You can bet your bottom doughnut his teacher will say no as and when he/she needs to, and if he has never heard it before, it will traumatise him.

suzycreamcheese Mon 16-Jul-07 23:31:59

oh will have to see that thread

vital verbal tool i have found

Tortington Mon 16-Jul-07 23:32:24

<puts inverted pinky to mouth and adopts condescending baby voice> ...becuase no -one will ever say 'no' when they grow up

AbRoller Mon 16-Jul-07 23:33:05

Why can't we say no? Can anyone link please

CristinaTheAstonishing Mon 16-Jul-07 23:35:34

Because instead of saying "no" you can find out common preferences. Something like that

CristinaTheAstonishing Mon 16-Jul-07 23:36:10

By common I think i mean mutual.

Tortington Mon 16-Jul-07 23:59:51

what a load of arse

controlfreakyflitwick Tue 17-Jul-07 00:04:25

oh ffs.

AbRoller Tue 17-Jul-07 00:08:21

Tis too late, I don't understand or care really. I'm not debating EVERYTHING with a child, thats just....well, silly IMO

Tortington Tue 17-Jul-07 00:50:23

rhubarb never says ..shhhh that word to her children

LoveAngel Tue 17-Jul-07 06:22:15

What is wrong with saying 'No' to a child? And are these the same person that think calling your child 'naughty' will do them serious anmd long term emotional damage?

BandofMuggles Tue 17-Jul-07 07:03:58

Even if I say NO I still get a debate from DD1
There is a reason why one of children's first words is usually NO

CristinaTheAstonishing Tue 17-Jul-07 17:04:13

I can see the point of avoiding "no" on some occasions, e.g. when you get stuck on the word and either party throws a tantrum standing their ground over it. In such cases it is useful to have another tactic to avoid trouble and direct attention away. However, if used like this it's just another way of manipulating your young child, distracting his attention because you're bigger and cleverer and know how to do it. So ultimately I don't think it's better ethically than a plain "no". (I haven't read the thread this relates to, so may be in a totally different context.)

stealthsquiggle Tue 17-Jul-07 17:07:27

My DM was desperately biting her tongue not to draw comparisons between my DC (who definitely have "no" said to them) and their cousin who doesn't the other day - suffice to say the comparison would not have been in DNiece's favour

CristinaTheAstonishing Tue 17-Jul-07 17:12:08

I'd find it very hard to raise a child without "no" because I use "no" when I speak to DH and other people and it would just come out of my mouth. To refrain from using it with a child would make my approach very artificial and I'd have to guard every single word that comes out of my mouth. Doesn't leave room for spontaneity or exasperation. Also, some things are just yes/no situations and I think children can cope with that.

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