Working mum/wife

[Mauratee]

How do you juggle these?
Working full time or part time with two or more children, satisfying a working husband, do you get to have a 'me' time amidst these and take good care of yourself?

[wyoudo]

It’s super hard.

I work 60-70 hours a week on average. Single mum to 2 primary age kids.

Have a boyfriend I barely have time for.

I sleep very little. Explode often. Feel very run down.

It will get better when the children are older!

Good luck x

[JassyRadlett]

What do you mean by ‘satisfy a working husnand’?

We both work full time, kids are 7 and 3. It’s hard sometimes, lots of juggling and swapping and compromising but we are a team, we do 50/50 on the drop offs and pick ups and we muddle through.

We each make sure we get time for ourselves (to go for a run/go out/whatever) and we have lowered our standards and rely a lot on the cleaner.

It works, ultimately.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

What on earth does satisfying a working husband mean?

[Chippychipsforme]

satisfying a working husband ???

I found living in 2019 rather than 1949 helped with that one.

[mindutopia]

We both share the load. It’s no more difficult for me than for my dh. My dh works full time 5 days a week. I work 3-4 days but longer as I commute to London, 6am-7:30pm.

We each do the school run part of the week, do homework, cook dinner and clean up on those days. Weekends are totally for family time. We see friends only on occasion (they live far away so means a weekend away, which is nice, but cuts into family life). We take time out for ourselves as needed but there are no other standing obligations (like no football 9-3 every Sunday). Because we share the load and make time for each other on the weekends, neither of us usually gets too drained. We do food shopping online and don’t stress about cleaning (just keep on top of it daily), though will probably get a cleaner again soon. My dh doesn’t need ‘satisfying’ as we’re both equal partners and we just support each other.

[Fishlike]

I shall get in my time machine to 1950 and enquire whether I’m ‘satisfying my working husband’, shall I? Or, oh, actually, it’s 2019.

[hopefulhalf]

Tbh I am much more likely to "satisfy " my husband after a day at work than after a day sheparding little people about. As others have said an equitable and egalitarian relationship.

[Collectingcpd]

OP, apparently I live in the 1950s too. This is MN and your DH is required to contribute 50:50 to every household activity/finance.....and if he doesn’t you LTB. We have a cleaner twice a week and a nanny-housekeeper 2 days a week (organised by me)which helps us keep on top of the day to day house work. Nanny-housekeeper does batch cooking when the kids are at school, so I don’t have to think about meal prep for more than 1/2 the week. DH never organises any childcare and (after a huge amount of arguing) will take DC to school once a week if he gets at least a months notice. I know many women who live this way IRL. I also know many women who have given up their careers (mostly drs and lawyers), because, even with the means to pay for help the logistics are just so complicated.Its really tough. Do I get much ‘me’ time? No. Rarely.......and I really have no idea how women with no cleaner etc do it.

[Fishlike]

But collect, how do you ‘satisfy your working husband’? Apparently it’s some kind of specialist need felt only by working husbands and which wives need to appease.

[QueenofmyPrinces]

Two children and a part time worker. DH does more than his fair share and I get lots of time to myself.

I’m pretty sure my husband isn’t “satisfied” as often as he’d like to be though

[Mauratee]

House helps can be a good idea as long as they know what to do, do thorough jobs and know their boundaries, what about household shopping? do you make a weekly or monthly list and do shopping at once, it gets annoying sometimes when you find that some stuffs have been used up and you may not have noticed because of busy schedules, how do you keep on top of stocking up the house?

[Cranb0rne]

We get grocery deliveries, saves hours of time that would be wasted trawling round a super market.

I get no me time.

[CostanzaG]

What does 'satisfying a working husband' mean?

[Forgiven]

I think it’s tottering to the door with lipstick on and a pretty hair bow when he comes home, and keeping the children away from him while you serve him his favourite drink and take off his shoes. Or something.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Doesn't it involve ironing a newspaper? Or is that something else?

[PrincessMargaret]

A cleaner, on line shopping and a rota for collecting the kids. Me time is the point of an evening/weekend where everyone has done their bit and not before, unless with special agreement upfront.

[PrincessMargaret]

If you can't afford a cleaner, domestic duties are split equally.

[Mauratee]

By satisfy his needs, I mean make love to him regularly as men are usually in need of this more often, when women are tired, we are more likely to want to get some sleep at least, first. Men also like to have their meals prepared ready when they get home from work, I hope I don’t sound like 1950s but I find most men prefer this.

[brownjumper]

Oh you are gonna get slaughtered for that comment!!

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Most adults would be thrilled if some other bugger made their meals for them ready for them when they got home from work, without having to pay them. Sounds great! What's not to like? Don't see what being a man has got to do with it.

No one needs to have sex btw. No one should be having sex when they don't want to be. I wouldn't be the slightest bit interested in having sex with someone who was just doing it because they felt obligated to do so.

[spamandbeans]

OP - is this a joke?

[DonnaDarko]

OP I'm a bit concerned that you sound a bit like a 50s housewife.

DP and I work full time. I work standard office hours from home so i usually do the dinner by the time he gets home. When I was commuting, this wasn't possible at all. However all other chores are very evenly split

[CostanzaG]

Oh op please say this is a joke and you don't really believe those outdated stereotypes.

[spamandbeans]

Men also like to have their meals prepared ready when they get home from work

Pmsl

[ememem84]

We both work full time. We have ds (18m) and dc2 on the way due in July.

We get by. Dh does the food shop of an evening (no online food shopping available here). I meal plan. I get up early and make sure laundry is kept on top of.

We don’t get home until 6 at the earliest during the week and will usually be around 8 by the time we eat. After that we spend half an hour or so doing chores then relax.

It’s tough but we have to make it work.

After my mat leave with dc2 I’ll be going back to work 4 days. On my day off I’ll have both kids and will maybe be able to get some chores done. Maybe not.