Am I too harsh on my 7 year old.

[flamed12]

And how much would it annoy you..

7 year old son, reminded constantly and I mean every single day to do the following..

1. Put his toothbrush in the toothbrush holder. He always just throws it down onto the windowsill and it’s constantly a mess with water and toothpaste and his toothbrush. I tell him every day please put it back.
   
2. flush the toilet
   
3. Pick his clothes up off the floor
   

This morning I went upstairs and found toothpaste all over the windowsill. Big clumps everywhere. His toothbrush on the windowsill and not in the dish. The toilet unflushed and wee and poo over the seat. Toilet roll on the floor. Clothes on the floor and not in the basket.

I lost my temper and got angry. And now I feel guilty. And whether I shouldn’t let it get to me. And it doesn’t now, now I’m sitting relaxing and he’s in bed I think why let it bother you so much. But it drives me crazy because I think he must know he’s doing it but thinks “oh well my mum will deal with it! Not my problem”. Like I’m just a house keeper.

[Chocolateisfab]

Post it note reminders? Until ten my ds had a memory like a sieve!

[Amongstthetallgrass]

He is seven years old.

[flamed12]

So... yes I am being too harsh? @amongstthetallgrass

Thanks @chocolateisfab. That might be a gentler way to remind him.

[Mintandthyme]

He is seven years old.

That is well old enough to flush the toilet and put his dirty clothes in a laundry basket.

[INeedNewShoes]

I think your expectations are absolutely fine and most 7 year olds I've had anything to do with would be able to keep to these things.

[madcatladyforever]

I'd have been cross too. At 7 my son knew to put his toothbrush away and never left the toilet in a mess. I wouldn't have stood for that.

[Dementedswan]

Honestly... at 7 they still need reminding and I supervise my 7 and 8 year olds tooth brushing. So yes they will be reminded to rinse the tooth brush and out back in the holder...

But... I expect them to get dressed/ready for bed and put clothes in the washing basket, help with household tasks etc x

[mooncuplanding]

He shouldn't be getting crap all over the bathroom. That is really basic so YANBU.

Clothes on the floor - shit, my teenagers are still being reminded.

Pick your battles.

[titchy]

Did you pick up after him though - if so don't!

Reward chart?

[Singlenotsingle]

Let him get away with it, and in years to come he'll be one of those lazy, entitled manchild types that MNers are always complaining about.

[Fooferella]

My DS is 8, he does the same thing and it drives me batty. I think at this age you still need to give them constant reminders. I'm forever telling him to turn off lights, shut doors, clear plates away etc. Don't take it personally, he's not thinking "F* mum, I will chuck my toothbrush on the windowsill and let her do it" he's more likely thinking about Minecraft or lego or something. Maybe thinking about it that way can help you not to lose your temper? Difficult, I know, I've lost my shit at DS few times out of frustration.

[Mintandthyme]

Let him get away with it, and in years to come he'll be one of those lazy, entitled manchild types that MNers are always complaining about.

This. With bells on.
And his dp will be clean his skid marks off the toilet and picking up his dirty clothes...

[Misty9]

I don't think you're being harsh. My 7yo frequently pees on the seat as he neglects to lift it up - if he pooed on it I would not be impressed! Does he make any attempt to clean up mess? Perhaps it's time to introduce chores - and don't pay/bribe him! As part of the household everyone is expected to show respect.

My 7yo is expected to put his own clothes away, make his bed to cover the bogey nest - sick, take his plate to the sink after eating, tidy up his room occasionally, and put his toys away after playing. I am quite strict...but those things aren't unreasonable imo.

[flamed12]

Thanks. Seems a mix response.

I don’t actually mind the clothes on the floor that much. But what made me angry is not just tidying up after him but his carelessness was creating more cleaning (cleaning the toilet, the clumps of toothpaste).

I understand he isn’t going to be the tidiest but I get angry when he makes a mess and most likely knows he’s made the mess but thinks “sod it - not my problem!”

He seems to constantly rush everything - nothing is done right - but then I know he’s 7 so I will relax but even wiping his bottom is done in such a rush that there is poo on my seat/wall