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My mother in law has been feeding my baby behind my

(183 Posts)
Lisburnlane219 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:16:15

So I’m going to keep this short. I would like your honest opinion on how you would react or cope with someone feeding your baby before you have started or wanted to start weaning your baby yourself? My babies first food was a rusk and she’s been being fed rusks for the last 5 weeks without me knowing. My baby has just turned 6 months old and I’ve been waiting until I thought she was ready or if not until she turned 6 months

YouBumder Thu 14-Mar-19 20:17:15

I’d be really angry

MissSueFlay Thu 14-Mar-19 20:18:33

If she's done it behind your back, not told you she was doing it, then she knows it's wrong. I would be furious. Do you rely on her for childcare?

Oly4 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:18:43

I’d also be really angry. Not on at all. The current guidelines say no solids before 6 months because of the ways baby’s stomachs digest

avocadochocolate Thu 14-Mar-19 20:19:24

Wow! I'd be upset too. Not much you can do about it now.

Why did she do it?

Rosehassometoes Thu 14-Mar-19 20:19:32

I would be furious too. If she’s your childcare I’d explore other options if you can.

lovely36 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:20:34

I would be really mad. I don't understand why mother in laws think they can do what they want. Very annoying!

CrazyOldBagLady Thu 14-Mar-19 20:20:42

Had there been a conversation about it previously, and did she know you were waiting? My reaction would depend on whether this was a genuine misunderstanding or a deliberate disregard of your authority as her parent. How on earth have you found out?

InDubiousBattle Thu 14-Mar-19 20:20:43

I'd be bloody furious.

Newmum201888888 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:20:58

Apparently I’m over reacting my partner as said. His mum came round to be confrontational without him there and asked do I think She’s trying to hurt the baby and that my baby isn’t a science project because I had said everything I have read or been told is to wait until 6 months because it’s better for the baby. Rusks have the equivalent sugar wise as a jam doughnut I didnt want that being my babies first food nor would I feed her them

Popskipiekin Thu 14-Mar-19 20:21:33

I’d be furious. Just as much for sentimental reasons as much as anything. You wanted that precious first time of feeding your baby and it’s been taken away from you. Opinions change as to when is the best time to start introducing solid foods but that decision in respect of your baby was up to you. That person would not have baby by themselves again for a long time and I would tell them why.

Sexnotgender Thu 14-Mar-19 20:22:23

I’d be livid!

babysharkah Thu 14-Mar-19 20:23:03

How often has this happened? Not that it's excusable but if you're using her for childcare I'd be finding other options pronto.

Creatureofthenight Thu 14-Mar-19 20:23:37

If done deliberately behind my back/against my wishes then I would be angry. Its possible in this instance that MIL was just doing what most people did when she was raising her children, unless you have discussed weaning with her in which case it was very wrong of her.

Littleraindrop15 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:24:12


I agree 100% with your post

HotSauceCommittee Thu 14-Mar-19 20:24:23

You have a partner problem worse than a MIL problem. They are both being outrageous, esp your partner for defending your MIL to you and not the other way around. This is your baby , not MIL’s and your partner needs to respect and protect that otherwise, what is the point of him?

LightDrizzle Thu 14-Mar-19 20:24:50

Assuming she knew the baby’s baby wasn’t weaned yet, it would be the last time she had my child unsupervised until they were 5 or 6 and able to speak up for themselves and tell their parents things that have happened.

Tinyteatime Thu 14-Mar-19 20:26:47

6 months is a guideline, so don’t worry your baby won’t be harmed in any way. I’ve weaned mine at 17 weeks based on the latest research and advice from several doctors on early weaning reducing allergies (my older dc has an allergy). BUT giving your baby their 1st solids should definitely be something exciting for the parents to do, it’s a big milestone that now you’ve missed out on, and no I wouldn’t have picked rusks as my babies 1st food. Would I be angry? Yes. Would I move past it and forgive her? Yes. It’s not worth falling out forever over but I would explain that you feel you’ve been cheated out of the experience of giving your baby her 1st solids and ask her not to do something like this without your say so again.

Newmum201888888 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:26:52

She has done it behind my back and hasn’t told me. She minds her Friday’s while I work and sometimes Saturday mornings while both me and my partner are working. Every Sunday I would notice an unusual nappy (green, black and chunky) for about 5 weeks but all through the week they would be as normal, then noticed stains around the neck of bibs and baby grows but thought it could of been barrier cream, she’d keep hold of her dirty clothes and wash them instead of giving them back in the nappy bag which I thought was odd, I found a spoon in the nappy bag which I asked my partner about and he said his mum gave him it. I finally asked her Monday if she’d been feeding her because I’d been suspicious and asked a friend and she told me she’s definitely being fed something if her nappies are different

BlueMerchant Thu 14-Mar-19 20:27:22

She's one of them! Interfering and thinking she knows best.
I'd never leave my child alone with her again!

foxsbiscuit Thu 14-Mar-19 20:27:35

I would be livid and I would never let her watch my child again.

Lollypop701 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:27:36

Furious wouldn’t touch the surface. Rusks are also awful things. I feel for you op

Newmum201888888 Thu 14-Mar-19 20:28:47

Because she obviously didn’t put trust in my as a mum and done what she thought was best. She told me my baby isn’t a science project because I told her there is research and improved ways of feeding babies since me and my partner where babies

Thesnobbymiddleclassone Thu 14-Mar-19 20:29:01

I'd be fuming and I wouldn't be hiding the fact that I was either.

What a major boundary crossing. If it was my Mil she would find that babysitting is no longer and privileged she enjoyed.

Theknacktoflying Thu 14-Mar-19 20:29:32

I would be really angry that she did it.
I would definitely find out why/ask her and decide what and how I would proceed
I am almost sure the decision wouldn’t be solely based on this - depends on her form/behaviour ..

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