Lazy baby daddy

[megmarsh1999]

I've got a 2 year old daughter and a partner, I feel like I'm doing everything on my own, the cleaning up, looking after my daughter whilst my partner just stays in bed all day or goes out unless he's working, he just doesn't seem interested anymore.. he's only interested in me when it comes to sex, I don't know what to do.. Advice please?

[Aprilshowersarecomingsoon]

Every morning you send your dc in to wake df...

[SleepingStandingUp]

Do you want to have sex with him? Or is he pressuring you? Is he nice for two days so you'll want sex then goes back to being a twit?

What does he say when you tell him how unhappy you are?

[PMmehunx]

What would happen if you just left him to it and went out for the day?

[megmarsh1999]

I've told him I'm not happy an feels like I do everything he says he'll do more an he will for like a day then he'll go back to being in bed.. he says he's knackered because of work and if I went out for the day ? I don't get to go out she prefers mum over dad

[PMmehunx]

Do you do all his things for him too? If so, stop.
If he asks- you didn't have time to do his laundry, you were busy doing his child's laundry, if he helped more you'd have more time.
Just cook something for you and DD and leave him to it. Cook stuff he doesn't like if you need to- you didn't have extra time to cook for him, as you were cooking for and cleaning after his child.

Only interested when it comes to sex? Again, you don't have time, you're busy with his child since you're doing it all single handedly.
Anyway, tbh, mine went through a stage like this too and it put me off him so much there was no way I wanted sex with him because he just made me so angry and a little disgusted.

I understand if he is working and you're a sahm that it is expected you do most, but that is no reason he can't help out a bit, can't play with his child and just stays in bed all day like he's having that lazy teen stage or something. He can look after his child while you do housework, he can do the dishes while you clean the sides, just anything! And yeah, of course she prefers to be with you, she can probably already see that you're the one she can rely on and you're the one cooking for her, playing with her etc!

[SleepingStandingUp]

Of course she prefers you, he doesn't parent her, he ignores her.

Stop enabling him. You need a rota and a work to rule

Do you work?

[lovely36]

I'm in the same boat except mine isn't even interested in sex. We haven't had sex in about 4 months. I'm only 27! And it's not like I'm not attractive. I take a lot of care of myself. I wake up at 7am and literally have my son all day. Playing with him, taking him out. Making his food, washing his clothes, bath, all that and he just relaxes all day. If I ask him to watch OUR son while I get a shower or something he moans as if he's doing me a huge favour. So sick of it to be honest. I don't know how much longer I can take this. As far as trying with me, he treats me like sht. We got into a fight last night because he's clothes wasn't dry yet and he said "why the fuck isn't my clothes dry yet?!" As if I'm his servant. I took the clothes out the dryer and threw them back Into the washing machine and told him he can do his own clothes from now on for being an ungrateful bastard. He's a terrible partner.

[SleepingStandingUp]

Then why are you with him if you KNOW he's a terrible partner?

[mc1999]

I had social services come out to me literally yesterday they're gunna stay involved because my partner is engaging with probation, he's being sent back to court for breaching he's been to jail before for like a month.. I don't know what to do.. I don't think I can be with him anymore

[PMmehunx]

Mc1999 yes, you're right when you say you don't think you can be with him anymore. If social services are involved now, please just leave him. You could end up losing your kids! If it's that serious that they're involved now, because he won't fix up, you really need to.

lovely you too! Or just stop doing anything for him too. You're too busy looking after your child all day to be running round for a grown man who is perfectly capable too. For the sake of your own mental health too.

I don't know why or how these problems are so common amongst fathers. Don't they want to parent? It's so weird. Even though parents need a break sometimes, most still like spending time with their kids and want to care for them and give them the best life possible, but then you get these useless people who just leave it all to the other parent and just can't be bothered with their own child. Then when the kids grow up and have a crap relationship with him, he'll be wondering why and acting like he did everything he could.

[mc1999]

What's the safest way to end the relationship with him? Only because there's been domestic abuse that's why he's on the probation

[MajesticWhine]

@mc1999 - start your own thread and I am sure people will advise you. Engage with social services and do what they advise. Engage with your local domestic violence service for advice or call Women's aid.