Giving up a career to be a SAHM - would you go back and do it all again?

[JustAnotherDay75]

NC because I think a colleague has worked out who I am by a previous pretty outing post 🙈.

For various (very good) reasons I have decided to leave my career and be a sahm at least until I have finished having my children and they are in full time education. It's something I've thought a lot about and discussed with dh extently for nearly a year now so it's not something I'm rushing in to. But I'm still having difficulties biting the bullet (I'm put off with the loneliness of motherhood more than anything else actually).

Is it worth it though, do other SAHMs have massive regrets? Would you go back and do it all again?

[scrawnybutscrumptious]

I gave up a decent career when I had my child. This coincided with a big move (and receipt of my post-grad degree which was never used afterwards),otherwise I'd have ideally kept a foot in part time. I loved those first few years being at home, but once DS started school, I needed something else and I struggled finding suitable jobs in my previous career due to the five year break.

I became a childminder for a few years and have now formally trained to work with children and and am looking for work. I'm having difficulty finding a job, and cm part time.

In all honesty though, as much as I love this new career choice, the money is dreadful. If I had to do it all again, I'd have found a very part time role - even voluntary, just to keep my knowledge and CV up to date. Then I'd have had more options.

Also, not that it should matter, but prepare to be judged. I know it swings both ways and working mums get it too, but I was regularly asked when I was going to work. Even recently when my (high earning) husband was miserable at work, my (high earning) close friend told me I should get a full time job and let my husband stay at home. I told her I was looking and struggling to find one. She failed to see that my low wage wouldn't pay our bills. I know she looks down on the traditional role I've ended up in and she thinkd I'm a freeloader. So, yes, prepare to be judged!

[scrawnybutscrumptious]

Oh sorry, that was just a long rant! In summary: if you can afford it and your do is happy too, do it but work a few hours a week to keep your options open for a later date.

[JustAnotherDay75]

That is good to know.
How much of a step down did you have to take when going back?

[scrawnybutscrumptious]

It was Human Resources I worked in before. A career where you need to keep up to date with legislation etc. When I was looking for work after the five year break I couldn't find any basic beginner work. At the moment I'm looking for work in nursery and wage is under half previous earnings

[ComeOnGordon]

Nope. If I could go back I’d have shook myself and said “don’t ever leave that job”.

Left as we agreed to move to H’s country, I didn’t speak the language and it’s not the same job here. I’ve been working very part time in a different job for the past 6 years and 18 months ago I found out H had been cheating on me.

Will be strongly advising my daughter never to rely completely on a man

[sonlypuppyfat]

I finished work when I was 32 to have my DS 20 years later I'm still off, I bloody love it. To be fair I didn't have an amazing career I left behind but I've been more than happy and fulfilled being at home