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Advice needed...he's out of control

(9 Posts)
lulabelle Mon 02-Jul-07 15:21:32

Seriously, I need advice regarding DS1, he started school in September and is coming up to the end of his first year in Reception. Prior to school he was fairly quiet and really anxious about school, however, to my suprise and relief, he has settled in really well. He has made friends and is well liked by his classmates and his teachers say he is a lovely well mannered boy who is a pleasure to teach! However, it seems the more he is a delight at school the worse he is getting at home and I'm at the end of my tether and don't know what to do. He has always been messy but he creates such a fuss when asked to put things away, he is cheeky and horrible to DS2, he does silly things like yesterday he scrawled on the kitchen floor with felt tip pens and when I asked him about it he just laughs and looks at the floor! I have tried shouting, putting him in his room, taking things away, nothing seems to phase him, except the threat of me telling his teacher, however, he can also be really loving and caring and sensitive, he is like two different people. He is causing rows between DH and I (not in front of him), I think DH is impatient and he shouts loud at him even this doesn't bother him but DS2 gets upset. Please advise...

Elibean Mon 02-Jul-07 16:03:17

Lulabelle, your ds sounds lovely....and probably exhausted! Sounds too simple to be true, but tbh all my friends' 5 yr olds are utterly knackered, and showing it in thier behaviour. If your ds is holding it together at school, thats pretty amazing.

Any chance of him going to bed a bit earlier? Resting more, reading books together or just lounging in front of a DVD more than usual?

Even my 3.5 yr old is off the wall atm, and she's only at pre-school 4 mornings per week....but knackered, knackered, knackered.

chipkid Mon 02-Jul-07 16:05:18

second Elibean. My Ds is just the same-school takes it out of them. It is hard work being so structured and well bahaved. I'm sure your lovely considerate bot will be back with you at the start of the holidays

chipkid Mon 02-Jul-07 16:05:36

Boy even!!!!

lulabelle Mon 02-Jul-07 16:19:21

the holidays! I had forgotten about those !!!!!

I hope he does as he makes weekends miserable and its not as though we don't try and do things with him, we make time for 'quality time' with all of us going out and doing something. It didn't help with all the rain at the weekend as we can usually let them run free in the park on Saturday/Sunday morning but they have been stuck indoors!

Thanks for your advice.x

Kammy Tue 03-Jul-07 11:35:12

Oh familiar tale...my ds is also the same - I think they have just had a really long hard year in reception! My ds loves school and works really hard, but a year of sitting quietly, doing as you are told,not to mention learning ecerything they have tolearn has taken it's toll - which means total meltdown at home!
I'm sure the holidays will see a return to yuor happy boy.

Furzella Tue 03-Jul-07 12:29:20

Couldn't agree more with everyone! My dd1 is at the end of Reception and is apparently a complete delight at school but is a shocking monkey at home - huge tantrums worse than her 3 year old sister, flouncing off like a teenager everytime she doesn't get her own way, losing the plot when something incredibly minor goes wrong, like not having a blue felt tip pen or the cat running away from her (don't blame him - I want to sometimes!). It's got slightly better recently as we've managed to change things a bit at bedtime. I've always been v bossy about bed at 7, but for the last few months she wasn't going to sleep even when obviously knackered and it was making her behavior worse. We now put her to bed at 7 but she has 30 minutes "reading" on her own (sometimes reading-ish, sometimes just pleasantly gawping at pictures). This really winds her down and she goes out like a light. It's made a bit of a difference - though like everyone else I'm just waiting for the summer hols!! (though summer holiday soft play in the rain sounds like utter hell - think I might rather have the tantrums...)

WideWebWitch Tue 03-Jul-07 12:30:20

It's normal. I think it's v hard for them being good all day and it's normal to get some bad behaviour at home as a result. Stay calm, be consistent, pick your battles wisely, it'll pass.

moo Tue 03-Jul-07 13:19:29

Troutpout just emailed me this thread as I spent much of the morning moaning about ds2's behaviour. He too started reception in September - likes it and is doing fine - but over the last few weeks has started throwing nightly tantrums of a type I've not seen for at least a year. Last night I had to carry him up to his room (he was fighting with his brother and had already had a "if there's any more you will go to your room" warning) with him fighting me, hitting me, and clinging on to the bannister - and once I'd shut him in there he proceeded to trash his room and throw things at the door. Yet he is described as "quiet" and "well behaved" at school.

I think, as others have said, that it's a combination of tiredness and the fact that he has been expected to sit, concentrate and behave all day. And, as www says, I know it will pass. It's bloody hard work though - I felt like I'd been 9 rounds with Mike Tyson by bedtime yesterday. Keep telling yourself - "it's a stage, it will pass" (my parenting mantra).

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