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perfect parent?

(10 Posts)
mex Thu 28-Jun-07 20:33:40

I'm new here, just starting to see the light after a year of PND and thought I'd say hello.

I also wanted to say that we're all told, over and over again, that we can never be a perfect parent, we just have to be good enough, but I want to know if anyone thinks that they are a perfect parent?! Not in any arrogant or bad way, not being competitive or even comparing yourself to anyone else, but just that you are the only mum or dad that your baby is going to have, so you're the best. In that way you're the perfect parent. You will do the best you can, you'll never do anything that you really, really think will be harmful to your child, so surely that's great. Of course you'll leave your child on his/her own for a while when he/she really doesn't want you to leave the room, or you'll give him sweets or cake or fewer than his recommended five-a-day fruit'n'veg, but YOU'RE THE PERFECT PARENT for your child. Does any one else think that perhaps the health visitors and doctors are wrong and that it is, in fact, possible to be a perfect parent, in your own eyes, and not just 'good enough'?

Anyone? :-)

Idreamofdaleks Thu 28-Jun-07 20:35:21

I think I am a great mum
I am appalling at most things but as a mum I rock!

SueBaroo Thu 28-Jun-07 20:36:47

yeah, in the sense you've described, definitely. It's a good thought.

hello btw <waves>

mex Thu 28-Jun-07 20:59:39

That's cool. It's just that I've had such a load of rubbish from doctors and health visitors (is there a thread about that?!) and it seems that everyone wants you to know you're not quite good enough but you could be if you worked that little bit harder. Makes my sad and cross in equal measures. Glad you guys believe in yourselves!

SueBaroo Thu 28-Jun-07 21:09:20

Dh calls it 'we're all mediocre, so lets all be mediocre together syndrome' (no, honestly, he really does )

We can all improve on something, but I know plenty of women who I genuinely think are pretty darn perfect parents.

mex Thu 28-Jun-07 21:27:33

Sorry, that doesn't count - you can't look at someone else's life cos they're full of insecurities that you probably don't know about (although if you ever told your friends that you thought they were perfect it'd probaly make them incredibly happy). I want to know if you think you're perfect :-)

mintchips Thu 28-Jun-07 21:27:48

I think me and dp are good parents. We get it wrong sometimes but overall I think we're doing a pretty good job.

I agree that health visitors and drs can make you feel inaadequate sometimes but as long as you believe in yourself and your kids are happy and healthy then thats all that matters

Weegle Fri 29-Jun-07 10:15:53


I think my and DH are the best parents there could be for our DS. We're not perfect and part of our role as parenting another human-being is precisely to teach someone how to cope with not being perfect (yes I can just about admit that my PFB son isn't perfect either). But we are the absolute best he could have and he is surrounded by love and security even at the times when he drives me bonkers. I expect the HV/docs have been saying a certain spiel to try to make you feel better, and they say these things so that new mums don't feel inadequate because I do think there is a lot of pressure on people to be "perfect" and to have the "perfect" child. I would certainly hope that I'm not simply "good enough"...

ViciousSquirrelSpotter Fri 29-Jun-07 10:27:13

Hmm. I think it's dangerous to think of yourself as perfect anything really - parent, employee, partner, daughter - nobody's perfect. But good is good, no? (I understand what you're saying about "good enough" being mediocre, but I do think that we live at a time when parents are more scrutinised and pressurised than ever before, and pointing out that you don't have to be perfect, is generally a good thing.)

That Grace Jones song sums it up "I'm not perfect.. but I'm perfect ... for yooooouuuuu!"

SueBaroo Fri 29-Jun-07 10:45:12

I wouldn't say I was perfect, in all honesty. I would say I was a confident parent, though. I don't have any insecurities about the way I parent, even though much of it goes against popular thinking now.
I can't say I'm perfect, really, because I do make mistakes, and perfection wouldn't do that, would it? I always apologize and ask forgiveness from the children if I've made a mistake though.

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