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so why did you decide to have children?

(28 Posts)
curiositymum Wed 27-Jun-07 15:17:48

and did it turn out how you expected? I am 34 and wanted to have a family but I never really wanted a baby and I never really felt very broody, more curious really and didn't want to regret not having kids later on when too late. Also if you don't have kids what else are you going to do for the next 20 years. I suppose not having any expectations means I couldn't really be disappointed! Of course realy love my dd now she is here, but I am also looking forward to her getting older and more interesting. Does anyone else feel this way?

Brangelina Wed 27-Jun-07 15:28:12

I was never interested in having children until I got to my late thirties and the fact that my choice would soon cease to be a "choice" but an imposition hit me. I also had a sudden strange primeval urge to spread my genes . Other factors were not being alone in old age (though you never can tell if they'll still be speaking to you then) and, to a lesser extent, the fact my DP had a child whose rhythms pretty much ran our lives at the time which meant I was making sacrifices without reaping the benefits as it were.

curiositymum Wed 27-Jun-07 15:30:08

how old is you dc now?

nickytwotimes Wed 27-Jun-07 15:31:05

cm, i also wanted children, but not particularly a baby! ds is now 11 mo and great fun - much easier than first 4 or 5 months too. i'd have more kids if i could give birth to them at 6 months or more (not literally!) i suppose that we thought the alternative to having kids seemed a bit lonely and (for us) pointless?

curiositymum Wed 27-Jun-07 15:33:28

ntt - are you going to have another?

AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun Wed 27-Jun-07 15:34:39

I wasn't bothered either way as had a fantastic lifestyle that I enjoyed very much. DP had always wanted kids but kept putting it off. I didn't want to be in limbo and then find out when we had made the decision that we'd left it too late so, when I turned 35 I said to DP it's now or never. He said ok it's now then and three months later I was pregnant with DS. TBH I've never been a maternal person, or good with kids, so it has totally shocked me how much I love being a mum. It's totally the most brilliant thing I have ever done and can't wait to have another.

nickytwotimes Wed 27-Jun-07 15:36:07

cm, yes, we will probably have another in a couple of years, fertility permitting...

TheDevilWearsPrimark Wed 27-Jun-07 15:37:39

I realised I could have been more careful with the pill when I became pregnant with DS then thought lets make more babies. DD was born and now we are thinking about a third.
It wasn't an 'ideal' time in our lives, but then when is!?

singingmum Wed 27-Jun-07 15:38:22

Cause I had sex and then I was PG
I was 16 at the time and though I knew that I wanted dc's at some point didn't really have a choice after that.No regrets though bothdc's are lovely even if 12yr old ds thinks I'm ancient at 30 LOL

MrsFish Wed 27-Jun-07 15:38:42

I was never really broody and could have quite happily kept putting it off, although I knew that I DID want kids eventually... finally bit the bullet when I was 31, now have a wonderful 2yr old ds and another ds due at the end of september, couldn't be happier and in fact wish I had started a little earlier

Marne Wed 27-Jun-07 15:40:39

When i met dh he already had 3 children which he loves to bits, i suposse spending time with his kids made me want my own even more (i have always wanted kids), i also thought that having children with dh would ease the pain from him not living with his other children.

I never thought having kids would be as much hard work.

I never thought i could love someone as much as i love my girls, i could'nt be without them.

LaBoheme Wed 27-Jun-07 15:47:32

Bourgeois narcissism

Sounds awful but I just thought it was something I should do - didn't really have any mega broody pangs. Love LO to pieces, she is my whole world, but am not a broody, earth mother type at all and will probably stop at one...

curiositymum Wed 27-Jun-07 15:48:42

I think contraception is too good these days, if you could choose to put it off forever you probably would because it's not a rational thing to do, turn your whole life upside down forever

LilianGish Wed 27-Jun-07 15:49:24

Wish I'd started earlier too (I was 35 with dd and 37 for ds). I was never really broody and thought I had a brilliant life - didn't know what I was missing! Who wants to carry on living the same life they had in their twenties when they are forty, fifty, sixty. Seems like a natural progression, the next stage in life - only felt properly grown up since I had children! Before they were born I always said I wouldn't care if I couldn't have kids. Since becoming a parent I realise what a real tragedy that is for some people. I just keep counting my blessings.

curiositymum Wed 27-Jun-07 15:51:07

I agree LaBoheme, it's just something to do innit (smile)

AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun Wed 27-Jun-07 15:52:06

LG you just described how I feel completely. I really have to restrain myself from trying to persuade the friends I have who haven't got kids that they should do it.

indiasmum Wed 27-Jun-07 16:11:37

when i forgot to use any contraception half way through my degree.

curiouscat Wed 27-Jun-07 16:15:31

I sort of wanted children all along.

But only when my first miscarriage happened (age 30) I realised I couldn't take anything for granted.

Now am a thrilled mother of 3. Am one of 3 myself, dh one of 4 so 2 would never have felt right to us.

LaBoheme Wed 27-Jun-07 16:16:58

CM it sounds frivolous but I was like - what next? ah yes the baby thing

Idobelieveinfairies Wed 27-Jun-07 16:22:42

I wanted children from early on. Had my first when i was 18 and then had 7 more. 32 now and would have many more if i had money and a bigger house!!!!

singingmum Wed 27-Jun-07 16:34:02

8DC's OUCH!!!!
Stopped after 2 as my first lasted 2 days and 2nd lasted 4.Hope you had easy labours

SueBaroo Wed 27-Jun-07 16:34:17

I got married, we had kids straight away because my fertility was (supposed to be) a problem. 4 kidlets later...

Flame Wed 27-Jun-07 16:38:37

Summat to do innit?

Idobelieveinfairies Wed 27-Jun-07 16:38:56

Well 2 sets of twins so cheated a bit on

NoodleStroodle Wed 27-Jun-07 16:39:55

Not entirely sure sometimes...

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