Advanced search

What's for lunch today? Take inspiration from Mumsnetters' tried-and-tested recipes in our Top Bananas! cookbook - now under £10

Find out more

I'm outing myself as a pushy precious parent.

(43 Posts)
choosyfloosy Wed 27-Jun-07 09:24:34

Oh dear. DS is doing ballet, is signed up for gymnastics and for proper 1:1 swimming lessons. I've also been sent away by the tennis instructor and the piano teacher as ds isn't quite old enough for these lessons....

he's three and a half.

A. Could I be any pushier?
B. Could this list of activities be any, er, ^less macho^?

My mum shouted 'Ludicrous' at me because I'd bought ds proper ballet shoes for his lessons (all the children in the class have them and I just wanted him to be the same as them).


Enid Wed 27-Jun-07 09:26:14

well Ben in dd2s ballet class has black shoes

please tell me you bought black

poor sod

choosyfloosy Wed 27-Jun-07 09:30:09

Black yes

I'm only forcing him to do ballet having eyeballed Carlos Acosta on telly a couple of weeks ago - although the other boys there are a bit rough so I may pull him out

bozza Wed 27-Jun-07 09:31:23

Does sound quite a lot for a 3yo. My own 3yo DD does swimming and dancing (tap/ballet). She also goes to day nursery 3xweek so I think that is enough for now.

HuwEdwards Wed 27-Jun-07 09:32:56

Yep, agree. Here's your pushy-parent crown.

Have no issue myself with macho vs non-macho activities, but ballet, swimming and gymnastics - at 3.5?

You is mad

NineUnlikelyTales Wed 27-Jun-07 09:33:27

Rough boys at ballet? Whatever next?!

choosyfloosy Wed 27-Jun-07 09:34:14

Hmm yes.

I think what I will do is get him to do ballet until the gym waiting list ends - then he can overlap for one week and choose between them. Both dh and I think he will love gymnastics so would bet that he would choose that.

if he's doing gymnastics and swimming that's not too bad. and I can investigate football or touch rugby or whatever it is that macho people do for a couple of years time.

fillyjonk Wed 27-Jun-07 09:36:58

my 3.5 yo does football and swimming.

tried ballet but had arse of a 19 yo instructor who had all the little girls prancing about being fairies and utterly, utterly, ignored ds for the whole session. When confronted about it at the end she said "oh i didn't think he'd want to join in, boys don't do ballet " giggle giggle. eh?

yes they do and they are paid rather a lot for it.

ballet isn't some sort of sissy thing. its bloody hard work and an excellent groundwork for other dance stuff. fine that a lot of parents of girls see it as a rite of passage to waft around with a floaty scarf pretending to be in a noel streatfield novel, (I have a girl who will no doubt go through this, nowt wrong with that) but that isn't really what its about.

fillyjonk Wed 27-Jun-07 09:37:58

choosy why on EARTH don't you want him to do ballet?

would you be making him choose between say football and rugby?


if he enjoys it let him do it, he'll tell you if he isnt happy.

fruitful Wed 27-Jun-07 09:38:43

dd did ballet, swimming and preschool at that age. She was bored, she wanted to be out doing loads of things.

Then she started school. Now we do school and collapsing in front of the telly.

Ds is a different temperament and will probably be content to play at home with me more. And walk to school and back 3 times a day!

oops Wed 27-Jun-07 09:44:12

Message withdrawn

mozhe Wed 27-Jun-07 09:48:23

Is he your first ?

Quattrocento Wed 27-Jun-07 09:49:04

Trust me, you will regret this. I speak not of whether ds will end up lacking in initiative through all this structured activity. I speak of your sanity. Ballet will snowball into more classes and diddy-precious performances. Swimming will snowball into more classes, distance swimming training, dive training, club nights and galas. I cannot begin to imagine what gym might snowball into. Stick the poor boy in front of the box and give yourself a break.

twoisplenty Wed 27-Jun-07 09:49:29

Can't see what's wrong with 3 activities at all - they're only an hour long or so I guess. My dd does similar and is fine, and still has lots of time at home to play. And preschool as well 3 times per week.

You'd soon know if he didn't enjoy it all. My dd can't wait for gymnastics and loves preschool. Only been to ballet once but happy to go next time. She'd soon tell me straight if she didn't want to go.

And I think it's fantastic for gaining confidence ready for school too.

mozhe Wed 27-Jun-07 09:50:56

No extra curricular stuff for the mini Mozhes.....I do teach DS1 a bit of piano when I am in the mood....and he is too

mozhe Wed 27-Jun-07 09:52:20

I'm with Quattro....a bit of benign neglect eh ?

ahundredtimes Wed 27-Jun-07 09:54:57

Oh do it, it's quite boring being at home all the time with a 3.5 yo really, quite acceptable to factor in outside help for a bit of entertainment. The 1:1 swimming thing sounds a bit intense though. Why do that? Can't he just walk up and down the shallow end with a toggle with all the other nice children? <yawning at the memory>

choosyfloosy Wed 27-Jun-07 10:01:09


Oh yes, mohze, he's not only my PFB but a POC too.

filly I DO want him to do ballet - and he seemed to really enjoy it - but that's the trouble, when I saw him bouncing round the classroom it filled me with happy memories of doing the Dolly Dance in my royal blue leotard and I realised that I was totally reliving my own happiness through him and that this was Worrying. That and Carlos Acosta of course.

I find it a bit lovely that in a class of 6 it's 3 boys 3 girls. Just how it should be in an ideal world. I think he'd love the Dolly Dance.

ahundred, mainly because we live on a little patch of land surrounded by 3 rivers - i really do want him to learn to swim not just be confident in the water.

ahundredtimes Wed 27-Jun-07 10:10:49

Goodness where ever do you live? On an island? I think you should factor in fishing too then, if you're schedule allows.

Lizzer Wed 27-Jun-07 10:12:18

LOL CF!But I think the way that you're fully aware of your... ahem.... condition, means you can never get a full blown attack of it.

Quattrocento Wed 27-Jun-07 10:13:14

Hello 100x. Was in your neck of the woods yesterday <points vaguely at South West>.

Why not add a bit of boating too? I feel sure you should have a slightly creaky rowing boat moored next to house for DS to have adventures.

ahundredtimes Wed 27-Jun-07 10:15:26

Oh yes sailing, he'll need to do that too.
I'm always rather admiring of people to whose children do lots of things. We're just so darn lazy here.

mozhe Wed 27-Jun-07 10:21:56

Lazy can be good....boredom is indispensible to don't forget to factor that in Choosy...

choosyfloosy Wed 27-Jun-07 10:30:16

Lots of boredom available unfortunately. While I was doing my A-level ds was up to 2 magnificent hours of Cbeebies a day. Hence surge of guilt-induced activity-organising.

Erm.. OK I'll fess up. I'm planning to train as a rowing coach for juniors so that I can appear suddenly at ds's primary school and organise a 'boating taster term' whereby they rotate between the local rowing club, the kayaking club, the sailing club and erm, erm, the lads crayfishing off the bridge.

And yes, my nannyshare partners have a canoe lashed to a tree in front of the house which they use to paddle off to the pub....

Quattrocento Wed 27-Jun-07 10:34:07

Choosy, is there a Mr Toad in your Wind in the Willows lifestyle?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: