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Do you find it easier to look after your dcs on your own rather than with your DH?

(25 Posts)
Pitchounette Tue 26-Jun-07 14:40:43

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OrmIrian Tue 26-Jun-07 14:42:03

Yes. You have described us perfectly. My DH can spoil a day out with his sergeant major impression.

gordieracer Tue 26-Jun-07 14:42:32

Yes totally, like having another child, and haveing three of them fight. I hate it when men think they've got to be some sort of super disiplinarian, and all the hard work you put in goes out the window cause they just shout and don't let children do anything fun.

nomdeplume Tue 26-Jun-07 14:42:41

no. DH is away a lot with work at the moment (Russia last week, Spain this week) and it is hard. Even though he works away often and the kids are no trouble really, I still find it stressful being responsible for everything. Especially after a challenging day at work

binkleandflip Tue 26-Jun-07 14:43:16

Absolutely. Maybe it's because with me and her, it's girls together and he kind of throws that off a bit. We love doing twee stuff together which he considers beneath him

Mercy Tue 26-Jun-07 14:43:17

Yes! (mostly)

meandmyflyingmachine Tue 26-Jun-07 14:44:22

God no.

maisemor Tue 26-Jun-07 14:44:52

I know what you mean. I find it easier when hubby sometimes isn't there. I do prefer him to be there most of the time though. The children seem calmer. It must be easier for them as well though only having to listen to one adult instead of two adults that don't always say the same thing

IntergalacticWalrus Tue 26-Jun-07 14:45:00

Looking aftre the children is easier when DP is here, but I end up spending most of Monday trying to sort out the aftermath he leaves behind after the weekend (eg, 736482734 bits of newspaper cluttering up the sitting room, mud in hallway, general debris and clutter in the kitchen)

LucyLamb Tue 26-Jun-07 14:45:28

Yes - my dh is another sergeant major Dad ! DD is very sensitive and easily upset - I am working very hard to help her with her behaviour whilst he thinks the solution is to contradict my parenting - shout at her and shut her in her bedroom !

I am not happy with him at all !

He was away for 2 wks recently and although it was hard being on duty the whole time - it was also more relaxed and much happier !

Posey Tue 26-Jun-07 14:45:30

Not easier or harder, just different. I do find however that the kids argue more (with each other and us) when we are together as a family.

For least tension/rows/moaning etc, one child each!!

geekgirl Tue 26-Jun-07 14:48:39

yes, for the same reasons as LucyLamb
everything is a lot more harmonious without dh's whingeing and shouting

daisyboo Tue 26-Jun-07 14:49:53


My DH and I split up when I was pregnant and I raised DS on my own for three years before we got back together. DH was happy to take my lead when we weren't together and now that we are, he has his own parenting style.. It's not wildly varying from mine, but the family dynamic is different. I'm bad cop to his good cop usually!

He also works away through the week which means re-adjustment to being a family of three at weekends.

We've just had another DC so it will be interesting to see how the dynamic changes again!

NoodleStroodle Tue 26-Jun-07 14:50:59

Yes - the DC and I seem to operate at one pace and DH at another.

bigknickersbigknockers Tue 26-Jun-07 14:52:31

yes, DH gets far too stressed far too easily.

Much more relaxed when he is not here

Pitchounette Tue 26-Jun-07 15:12:14

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greenpearl Tue 26-Jun-07 15:15:16

Oh yes agree its easier without.
You are right that it flows better without them!
And, more importantly, those lovely long evenings with a glass of wine and the remote control in your hand make it SO worthwhile!!

lucyellensmum Tue 26-Jun-07 15:30:45

YES YES YES YES YES YES my DP adores his little girl and is a fantastic daddy, but he indulges and spoils her and as a result she is whiney and demanding, i am a mean old bitch and everything ticks along nicely.

Pitchounette Tue 26-Jun-07 19:46:58

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cat64 Tue 26-Jun-07 19:55:11

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Highlander Tue 26-Jun-07 20:12:23

oh yes..........

yomellamoHelly Tue 26-Jun-07 20:20:39

Yes in that when dh is around he wants to "do stuff" with dss. So house isn't kept on top of, more mess is created anyway and dss are more tired than usual so harder work generally. Plus I don't get much downtime so am also more tired than usual. Always feel knackered come Monday.
Do enjoy the change of pace though - one day blends into another really.

FioFio Tue 26-Jun-07 20:22:11

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Elibean Tue 26-Jun-07 20:34:12

No, mostly not. I feel I have more time and attention to give the dds individually when dh is around, and I enjoy sharing the responsibility (especially the night time feeds ).

That said, I did find dd1 started trying to divide and rule when we were all together, at around 2.5...but if we're communicating well together, she fails miserably

mumsville Tue 26-Jun-07 22:50:36



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