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Is the French Method of Parenting cruel

(11 Posts)
lady007pink Mon 25-Jun-07 05:59:00

[url=""]Li nk[/url]

lady007pink Mon 25-Jun-07 05:59:29

quokka Mon 25-Jun-07 06:15:24

I agree with setting boundaries and disciplining is better in the first three years. I have friends who refuse to say no to their children and they are so badly behaved. My ds1 is shocked by their behaviour and often feels intimidated when we visit them.

But I would like to think that I'm not as firm as the french? I try to do it in a calm manner but they do know when they have crossed the line iykwim?

christie1 Mon 25-Jun-07 07:14:06

Interesting article. Being north american, I have to say, if I had to choose, I would take the french model although I couldn't be as hard as it seems they are. I call it the "sitting at the adults table" syndrome, where these young kids treat adults as equals (or usually inferiors) and are self absorbed, pushy and loud. I think in north amercia we took an obsession with self esteem to new levels, thus we get things like paris hilton and that gang. During my year at LSE, I was embarassed by the north american kids in class compared to kids from other cultures. They just seemed to think their "thoughts" on the topics were far more interesting than their analysis of what the great thinkers had to say. They seemed incapable of providing deep thinking as a general rule compared to the other students from other places ( the irish kids were really impressive. They must have one really good education system there).

Anyway, I think a balance of strict dicipline when necessary but never forget that kids are also fun and need cuddles too.

Anna8888 Mon 25-Jun-07 07:27:31

We've already had a thread on this article...

Bouncingturtle Mon 25-Jun-07 07:32:03

Personally I'm going to adopt the Miss Trunchball parenting system. Lock the child in a small box until it's an adult...

christie1 Mon 25-Jun-07 07:34:18

I have been away and didn't read the other thread so if people are interested and responding to this thread, then it still has some life in it.

Anna8888 Mon 25-Jun-07 07:39:59

It's not a criticism - just wanted to let you know that we had quite a vigorous debate already.

CaraLondon Mon 25-Jun-07 07:50:10

do have the link to the old thread?

lady007pink Mon 25-Jun-07 15:43:39

Bouncingturtle, that's what my grandmother did with my mother (RIP) and her siblings. Apparently, they were placed in a chest once they became mobile and left there day after day until they became sensible! She would leave holy pictures beside the chest and go into the fields to help out with the harvest (helping her husband who never lifted a hand to help her with the housework or kids!).
Anna8888, I tried looking through the threads to see if this was already discussed but didn't see any.
Some of the actions described in this article I wouldn't describe as disciplining children, just being a nasty parent. It would be interesting to know if anti-social behaviour is to a lesser extent there than in Ireland or Britain due to the stricter parenting.

christie1 Wed 27-Jun-07 06:23:29

no problem anna8888, I will try to find it and read that one too. I find it interesting because I sometimes wonder if I am too strict, then see them in action and think, no they are well behaved. Other times, my dh suggests I am too soft. Nice to see what the extremes are so I can place myself safely in the middle. Personally, I think strict, but not cruel dicipline, is fine as long as the children feel the love too. I recall years ago some children were removed from the home as their parents beat them with a strap. They were a religious community and believed it corporal punishment. They were returned (after the parents promised not to use the strap) but the thing was, it was obvious to everyone those kids were well loved and caused more harm by removing them.

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