My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

My screaming baby is ruining everything :(

169 replies

endofmytetherstether · 16/10/2018 21:50

Please help.
DS (5.5 months) has been a very difficult baby from birth. He only has two moods - smiley and content (which is lovely) and completely inconsolable and screaming. Unfortunately he is almost always the latter apart from some smiley hours in the morning.
He screams his head off and cries almost constantly. He is so fucking grumpy. It's got to the point where I don't attend baby classes or NCT gatherings because he blows his top so completely. I've had people in coffee shops and restaurants tell him to shhh! It's mortifying and means I am frightened to go on public transport - I live in central Manchester and don't drive so rely on trams and trains to get around but I dread it because he gets so furious so quickly.
I have no chance to get to him before he blows his lid - he will be asleep in the sling or the pram and will wake up and be full on furious almost immediately. When he gets so angry he won't feed properly.
My DP and I are constantly on edge and arguing because DS screams even more with him than he does with me, so our evenings and weekends are just spent passing a screaming baby back and forth. I end up in tears almost every night because it's so exhausting and wears me down. It's destroying our relationship. We love our son but he has brought no pleasure to our lives as all he does is cry.
I thought he would get better as he got older but it isn't really improving at all.

I don't want to drip feed - I have tried he following:

  • cranial osteopathy - did nothing
  • he has been medicated for silent reflux for months but doesn't seem to have made any difference - he is on omeprazole (sp?) but really the GP did it on spec to see if that was causing it. He doesn't seem to be in pain, he's just grumpy.
  • he is EBF. I cut or gluten and egg and dairy for six weeks. Made no difference at all.
  • I am very strict about his naps and he is a goodish napper so I don't think he's overtired
  • I tried baby massage but he hates it
  • he is an OK sleeper, wakes several times a night but that's to be expected with babies
  • he has toys and I try to spend lots of time talking to him but he just cries and gets angry Sad
  • we leave the house every day for fresh air and a walk
  • he likes the sling to sleep but once he's awake he hates it


I just feel so defeated. He has broken my spirit. I want so badly to be a good mum and to enjoy my time with him. But he is miserable and so are we. Please help.
OP posts:
endofmytetherstether · 16/10/2018 21:52

Forgot to add we don't have any family in the area except for DP's mum but she cannot cope with the screaming. Most of our friends don't have kids so they struggle to cope with it too. It makes me so sad because they were so excited when he arrived but he is so miserable no one wants to be around us Confused

OP posts:
WTFdidwedo · 16/10/2018 21:54

I'm terribly sorry that I come with no words of advice but I am in exactly the same situation as you so I just wanted to offer some solidarity. I also have an almost 2 year old however, so I have the pleasure of feeling a shit mum X2!

I have just started mine on food and she seems a bit better. I've concluded that my breastmilk must be shit and she hates me basically. I self referred myself to a local parent support group where they take the babies off you for two hours in a crèche. Mine gets brought back EVERY SINGLE TIME after an hour because she will not stop screaming. Noone else's does!

FishesThatFly · 16/10/2018 21:57

Have you started him on food? I'd give that ago.

Does he have a door bouncer? Mine liked that for short periods.

endofmytetherstether · 16/10/2018 21:59

@WTF thanks for your response and sorry you're going through it too, I have a feeling my DS would also be brought back!! Where did you find the group? Has anything helped your DD at all?

OP posts:
endofmytetherstether · 16/10/2018 21:59

@Fishes he doesn't sit up unassisted quite yet so I was waiting for that before food Confused I hope it'll make a difference!

OP posts:
TeddyIsaHe · 16/10/2018 22:00

I’m usually against early weaning but I personally would be introducing food now. He sounds so unhappy! It can’t do any harm.

It does get better. Dd was like this at that age, and I truly thought I would just leave, I couldn’t take it. But by 7/8 months the screaming stopped and I realised I actually enjoyed her! There are still tough days of course, but it’s so much better.

Vintagegoth · 16/10/2018 22:00

Didn't want to read and run. Wanted to say that your story sounds very much like my DD. It does get better, but you are in the really tough bit. 50% of children with a dairy allergy are also allergic to soy. Are you substituting soya milk for dairy?
All I can suggest is to keep a diary of everything. What you eat and drink, what your son drinks (and eats when weaning), how much he sleeps, what his nappies are like, general mood etc. You may see a pattern. It helped for me.
Hold tight, do whatever you need to do to get him to sleep and for you to stay sane. Blow off baby group if you are both shattered.
Wishing you all the best.

endofmytetherstether · 16/10/2018 22:00

sorry @Fishes didn't see bit about door bouncer. Yes we have that and a jumperoo. He will toleate both for a bit and sometimes smile and giggle a bit but it doesn't last and he's miserable again Sad

OP posts:
Brandnewstart · 16/10/2018 22:02

Is he having any solids? I found my second one would wake up starving and hangry and I would need to shove some food down him before he erupted like the hulk! Seemed like his blood sugars dipped really quickly.

WingingWonder · 16/10/2018 22:02

My child 1 cried ALL THE TIME
Then at 3.5 was suddenly the most lovely child...
Child 2 doesn’t (yes I went back for more...)
But did- as soon as cmpa (dairy) allergy diagnosed and felt with- a different child- worth a shot?? In hindsight child 1 showed a lot of symptoms...

WTFdidwedo · 16/10/2018 22:03

We have a scheme in Wales called Flying Start but I think in England you have Homestart, so may be worth asking a health visitor or GP. They arranged it for me and it's really helpful to just have that hour. It's quite embarrassing that everyone else's babies stay happily with the crèche workers however...!

Doctors don't seem to understand the sheer shitness of it all do they! I show mine videos of my daughter screaming and they just tell me it's normal. It's fucking not. I think mine must be uncomfortable or in pain.

I give her about 10 mouthfuls of porridge in the morning and a bit of toast or cucumber to gum at lunch at the moment and she's been far less screechy this past week. She's 6 months next week but pretty robust and I figure she can't get any worse by me weaning "early" given that she's already the spawn of Satan!!

RLOU30 · 16/10/2018 22:04

This is me and my son with bells on. He is now 4.5 months and I have as of two weeks ago started giving him food along side his milk. He seems much much happier. Good luck I know it’s so hard xx

TeaByTheSeaside · 16/10/2018 22:06

Sounds like my DD. She was exactly the same. So you have my sympathies.

My DD was EBF but my mum helped me introduce a dummy for her. Although often she was screaming too much to suck the dummy, if I got it in before she was too outraged, it settled her.

Once she was able to sit up unaided and could see out of the buggy she was much better.

Pannalash · 16/10/2018 22:06

Never ever considered babies to be ‘angry’ surely he is upset about something while he is crying?

81Byerley · 16/10/2018 22:06

My friend had a baby just like yours. One day, they were in Mothercare and the dad was holding the baby, trying to stop him crying. He sat him in a baby walker and he took off across the shop, the 1st time in 5 months he hadn't cried when he wasn't asleep. They bought the walker!

donajimena · 16/10/2018 22:06

I had one the same! I really can't give you any advice other than to say we survived. It was hellish. I had to pound the streets in a pushchair or drive. Then at night co sleep. No inbetween. Any cease in movement resulted in tears. It got better at around 7 months.

endofmytetherstether · 16/10/2018 22:08

Thank you so much everyone for your lovely replies it helps so much.

@Teddy was there any reason for your DD's screaming? Did it just stop one day? I feel like I can't take one more day at the moment

@vintagegoth thank you I will do the diary thing. No I know soy can be a problem too, I avoided that when I gave up dairy. It didn't seem to make a difference so I went back on it... @wingingwonder how long did you need to be off it before it made a difference? Did anything else help?

@brandnew I do feed him as soon as he wakes up but often he just feeds then screams anyway...

@WTF I so know the feeling. I used to think DS was in pain but now I just think he's fed up. He seems to hate everything!

OP posts:
sueshoes · 16/10/2018 22:09

Just in case it helps - I don't think they need to sit unaided to wean. I think they need to be able to sit unassisted in a high chair but not actually sit (e.g. on the floor) unaided. Mine couldn't do that until 10 months! I started weaning at 6 months, or possibly a fraction before, I can't remember now. I think it's worth a go.

endofmytetherstether · 16/10/2018 22:10

Wow so many responses. Thank you everyone xxx

@panna yes perhaps but when he is fed/clean/has napped/has toys and things to look at/has cuddles and screams his way through all these things I don't know what???

OP posts:
WTFdidwedo · 16/10/2018 22:12

If I lived near Manchester we could meet up and our babies could scream at each other Grin

endofmytetherstether · 16/10/2018 22:12

It seems like weaning might be the way to go? Thanks everyone and @sue for the clarification. I'm still not convinced he could sit in a high chair, he is quite long and his head control while good is not amazing! I will look into to rhough. Thank you everyone Flowers

OP posts:
Emelene · 16/10/2018 22:14

No advice to add OP, but it sounds like you're doing a great job Thanks

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Summerbabygirl · 16/10/2018 22:15

No advice but just wanted to say you are not alone (see my thread ‘what is wrong with my baby’). I have the exact same feelings as you!

TulipsInBloom1 · 16/10/2018 22:16

Have you tried a dummy op?

jjemimapuddleduck · 16/10/2018 22:17

I'm sorry if this is obvious but have you tried a dummy? Mine likes one in his mouth and one in each hand and likes to swop them (he's older).

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.