My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

I desperately want my son in my name..

9 replies

CBates · 22/08/2018 19:01

So long story short basically my ex was very aggressive and controlling, i had my little boy extremely early(12weeks early to be exact) i was told my little one wouldn't make it, anyway he did. I think it was around about a week or more after i had given birth, i was extremely emotional and not in a clear state of mind however i knew i wanted little on to carry my surname, that didn't exactly work out. I was basically told he was going in my now ex partners name and was pretty much forced down to the register office(in the hospital because my little one was in NICU for a while) anyway, i felt forced into it and its broken my heart ever since. I don’t want it changed through deed poll because i just have to add to my ex’s last name. This isn't out of spite because we aren't together because he was toxic and i could never allow any child around drugs/alcohol and violence regardless of if he was prince charming(which by the way he was the furthest from) i am currently in the process of waiting for a solicitor to contact me regaurding this issue, i have a non-molestation order on little ones dad my ex which means i couldn't ask him and the answer would probably be ‘no’ and that’s putting it politely. I was just wondering if there is some sort of way to get rid of his last name and replace it officially and legally into mine? Obviously he stays on the birth certificate, and would the surname be used on legal documents ie; passport etc..i know with deed poll you have to use your original birth certificate.
I’m honestly so upset as i was certain my first child would have my name.. its not to be nasty in any way i am just so desperate for my little one to have my last name.. any advice would be helpful..
Thankyou in advance

OP posts:
Report
Knittedfairies · 22/08/2018 19:12
Report
JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/08/2018 19:16

I would try asking MNHQ to move this into legal matter OP.

If you are saying there was coercion involved when the baby was registered, the MNers in Legal matters may know if there is a way of changing the name officially.

Report
JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/08/2018 19:16

X-posted with knitted Smile

Report
CBates · 22/08/2018 21:24

@knittedfairies
Thankyou, that was pretty helpful, i’ll try and ask my solicitor to get his consent, if not then i may be a little stuck. I can’t see him agreeing

OP posts:
Report
CBates · 22/08/2018 21:27

@JiltedJohnsJulie
Thankyou, i will ask MNHQ , i already have a solicitor involved so maybe she would or could shed a little light. I feel..in fact i know i wasn't in my normal state of mind,i was vunerable and feel as though that was preyed upon and now its eating me up inside.
Thankyou for your advice i will look further into it

OP posts:
Report
Ceecee18 · 22/08/2018 23:54

Obviously you may have exceptional circumstances which may apply here but when I registered DD with her dads name I was warned by the registrar that this could not be changed on the birth certificate, only by deed poll. She said that if she was registered in my name it could be changed on her birth certificate to her dads name, but not if she was already in his name. I googled it when we got home and this seemed to agree with everything I could find online. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Hopefully your situation will get considered as exceptional circumstances.

Report
CBates · 23/08/2018 12:31

@CeeCee18
I read that too, and i see no point in deed poll all it does is add my name to the end, i know it can be changed if the father agrees but then i don’t know if it will actually be on the birth certificate or just my last name added. I’m hoping because he was mentally abusive that i get some sort of exepction, i know he won’t agree to having little one put in my name. So i’m on to my solicitor(who did the non-moelstation order) to see what can be done.
Thankyou

OP posts:
Report
BenSh2 · 07/09/2020 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BenSh2 · 07/09/2020 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.