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"No! STOP!! Take your hands off the door handle! DO NOT COME IN! I am ALLOWED to go to the toilet ON MY OWN!!" I

(70 Posts)

"... read it in parenting book!"

I didn't.. I made it up. But if it isn't in a parenting book, it should be!

This is what I have taken to roaring at my kids each time they I sit down for a wee and, like magic, one (or more) of them comes bombing up the stairs with the intention of hurling themselves into the bathroom to do any/all of the following: a. Tell me what one of the others did/said to them b. request food/drink c. bring me the ringing phone d. use the toilet themselves (even though there is one downstairs but-there-was-a-spider-in-there-a year-and-half-ago-so-they-can't-go-in-there)

It has worked every time so far, in the last week! They have halted at the door and not barged in! I don't know if they think the Toilet Guards will arrive and instantly arrest them or what.

It just suddenly occured to me a couple of weeks ago as I sat there is mid-wee, with my knickers and jeans round my ankles, observing not only 8 yr old DD's mud and tear streaked face which was square with outrage as she spouted a tale of woe about DS1 (14) drinking her juice.. but also his outraged face as he followed her into the bathroom, in order to defend himself and tell me the "correct" sequence of events.

I just thought FFS! This has to stop!! I am going to the toilet for heaven's sake! I CAN do that on my own! These things can WAIT!!!

I may create a stash of Nice Things To Do While I Sit There.. seeing as I seem to have found some sanctuary.

ProjectIcarus Mon 04-Jun-07 12:43:26

FrannyandZooey Mon 04-Jun-07 12:43:36

Why don't you get a lock on the door, then you don't have to keep shouting at them?

newlifenewname Mon 04-Jun-07 12:44:55

Having the same problem. I don't lock the door because I feel I'm not 'on call' enough if I do and that worries me. Ironic?

lilymolly Mon 04-Jun-07 12:45:02

i have dd and dog follow me.........its got to stop

fransmom Mon 04-Jun-07 12:45:23

dp started doing that so i bellowed at him - it's not enough that i lose all my privacy in the hospital - i have to lose it here as well

Beauregard Mon 04-Jun-07 12:46:45

Same here ,crapping in our house becomes a family affair.
Dc can make you constipated

Dogsby Mon 04-Jun-07 12:47:18


I don't have a lock on the door because I don't want them to lock themselves in as happened in last house.

Franny, I don't think I'm doing them any real irreparable damage nor altering their perception of how loved they are by bellowing at them from the toilet seat.. but I'll take my chances.

Dogsby Mon 04-Jun-07 12:47:56

a high up lock?

newlifenewname Mon 04-Jun-07 12:48:01

I have tried "better not come iiiii-in, you might get poo on yoooooooooo!"

pickledpear Mon 04-Jun-07 12:48:08

i had the toilet door open so i could see when ds was coming up stairs towards me and my eldest dd9 opened front door at bottom of stairs and in traped her 3 friends all she said was hi mum and carried on into living room followed by three waves and a hi from her friends not all female i may add

KTeePee Mon 04-Jun-07 12:48:42

Just get one of those locks fitted where you can open it with a screwdriver from the outside if they get stuck...

scatterbrain Mon 04-Jun-07 12:49:31

No you need a lock !!

Ours are those ones you can open from outside with a coin - so you can alwasy get them out again should they lock themselves in (fat chance eh ?)

Every mummy is entitled to poo and pee in peace !!

Dogsby Mon 04-Jun-07 12:49:49

how weird
my kdis have no interets in my excrement

newlifenewname Mon 04-Jun-07 12:50:22

mine can all open those locks with their stash of coppers

our bathroom sits between my bedroom and dd's room. frustrating.

PMSL Pickled Pear.. Did they not even snigger?

The thing is, re locks, I don't think it's unreasonable for children to let their parents pee in private really.. is it? Is it?? I mean, unless there is a danger to life or limb...

lilymolly Mon 04-Jun-07 12:51:28

my dd is only 17 months, surely children older than that can be told, NOT to come into the bathroom when someone is using the toilet?

seamonster Mon 04-Jun-07 12:51:46

I too find I have to stress that if I'm on the toilet, please leave me alone, we do have a lock, that they can open from the outside using a coin.... I mean just because they don't mind sitting there for all and sundry to watch doesn't necessarily mean I am of the same opinion.
On a slight tangent our old extractor fan was really noisy and they knew I couldn't hear them over it when in the shower, unfortunatley the new one is practically silent.

Mine have no interest in the fact that I may be wee-ing or poo-ing.. but they have (had!) no respect for this fact either. Mummy (Mum!) is (was!) a person who can (could!) be accessed all hours.. all moments!

Precisely Lilymolly.

clumsymum Mon 04-Jun-07 12:53:58


Oh I know this scenario sooooo well. I have just started locking the door when I go, cos I can't stand ds coming to talk to me when I go.

Oh, and we have the "there-was-a-spider-in-there-a year-and-half-ago-so-they-can't-go-in-there" drama too. DS will only use the downstairs one if he can wedge the door open and I sit in the armchair where he can see me, because he once saw a spider in there.

Dogsby Mon 04-Jun-07 12:54:16

how long do you take?
shit faster

newlifenewname Mon 04-Jun-07 12:54:53

i might take a cd player in with me and play scary noises from behind the door to keep them away. Will chuckle grimly as they run around the house looking for mummy to tell her about the monster in the bathroom.

AttilaTheMum Mon 04-Jun-07 12:55:00

Put a bolt at the top of the door on the inside, so they can't reach it to lock themselves in, but you can. Or, if you think they will climb up on the laundry basket to lock themselves in, have a lock with a key, which you can keep.

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