Don’t show your hand. Bide your time, keep your eyes and ears open for anything that doesn’t add up.
Gut feelings are often there for good reason. But the minute you show your hand he will lock everything down and make it ten times harder to find anything else out. It’s hard, but try to be cool and get everything in place in case you find out the worst and have to kick him out. Get all important paperwork to hand, so that if you split you have everything you need to do it fairly.
In the meantime you need to decide what your dealbreakers are - is it over if, for example he’s been messaging someone, or if he’s met up with someone once? Some people manage to move on from that but wouldn’t forgive an ongoing affair.
Personally for me it would be over if DP had kissed someone else. I would lose trust in him if he’d been messaging someone else but depending on the circumstances it might be something I’d be prepared to work through. What’s your line in the sand?
Do you mean use each other’s phones or actually go through it? I’d go crazy if DH was looking at my messages as what I say to my family and friends is private but if he was using it because his phone wasn’t nearby then I wouldn’t mind. I think neither of you should be “going through” each other’s phone.
Yea I think this depends, if you were just googling something because yours was dead it's suspicious that he was unhappy. If you were trawling his emails or messages or bank account without him ever giving you cause for suspicion then no wonder he was angry!