Hurt by a bully, school sweeping under the rug

[xandersmom2]

DS was hurt at school yesterday – another kid barged into him in the playground, he cracked his head on the concrete and was out cold for a minute or so. They called us to collect him (though didn’t mention he was unconscious, just said he’d banged his head) and after 5 hours in A&E they said he has a severe concussion. He now can’t go back to school to finish his year, must rest quietly in a dark room, and is really fed up with a stonking headache.

This wasn’t an accident, the same kid has been picking on him in a fairly minor way for months (hiding his lunch bag, kicking his ball into the nettles so a teacher has to go get it, shoving him in the lunch queue, telling him ‘nobody wants you here’ and so on) and immediately admitted he had done this. DS has come home several times very glum and we’ve had numerous conversations with his class teacher and the Head who all assure us the other kid just plays a bit rough and that DS ‘gives as good as he gets’ (I’m not claiming he is an angel as I’m sure he’s not, though we’ve never been spoken to about his inappropriate behaviour or told he has injured anyone else).

Teacher called last night, apologised, said the ‘rough’ kid has been talked to along with his parents and has written a letter of apology to DS (which he won’t get as he can’t go back to school).

I’m fed up and I don’t think this resolves it. I slept on it, thinking ‘it’s the end of the year and I should let this go’ but I’m still mad about it today. I’ve made an appointment to talk to the Head tomorrow but I’m not sure I can articulate what I want. It’s not about punishing the other kid, it’s more about creating a bully-free environment within the school. My kid shouldn’t be worrying about if someone is going to hurt him whilst he’s at school. AIBU to insist that this event is recorded somewhere so that any future events can also be tied to this? Or, what should I be insisting upon?

FWIW I am also a governor at the school. So, I don’t think writing a letter of complaint to the governing body is going to help at all and will just be seen as favouritism. But I also know that generally speaking, bullying within the school is actually not a major issue.

[Havetothink]

I think a severe concussion that happens on school premesis ought to be recorded somewhere if only for their health and safety record, so they can try and prevent similar happening in the future.

[Apple23]

You know that you can't ask for a specific punishment for another child or that the school would tell you what is done regarding the other child. The question to ask the Head is, "What are you going to do to ensure my child is safe in school?"

If you are not happy with the response and want to complain then use the steps in the Complaints procedure. If your child's other parent is involved, it may be easier for you, given your position, if they write to the governors if things get that far.

What to ask for?
Does your son want anything specific to happen, other than simply for the bullying to stop?
He might want the option of not being on the playground, or this might be his idea of the worst-thing-ever. If it's a 2+ form entry school, you could ask for your son to be moved to a different class from this child, but, again, your son may hate the idea of this.

Certainly, the new class teacher needs to be aware of the situation between the two boys. You could ask for a named person, with whom your son has a good relationship, to "check-in" with him regularly to monitor that problems are not re-starting.

There may be other strategies in the school's Anti-Bullying policy that could be put in place. The policy should be on the website to download.

[xandersmom2]

Thank you for the replies. I had a good meeting with the Head, verified that the incident had been appropriately recorded in the accident book and the relevant kids' records.

I did have a rant about not being told he was unconscious and how this could have adversely affected the outcome. Got an apology and an assurance that office staff would be reminded to give full reports when calling parents (though who knows whether the office staff were even told).

His teacher for next year then joined us along with DS and we talked at length about what's been going on and what he needs in order to feel more positive in the classroom and the playground. One of the things that really upset DS is that this kid has been telling him to 'go back to where he came from' (DS wasn't born in UK) and we found out his new class teacher originally comes from the same country as DS. So clearly she won't stand for this nonsense, and DS really perked up as now he feels he has someone on his side. So I'm hopeful that after a nice long summer break that allows everyone to reset, next year might be ok.

[Starlighter]

Glad the meeting went well OP. A new teacher can make all the difference. And everyone is now fully aware of the situation.

Hope your DS is feeling better now

[user1457017537]

I don’t think the Head or the school are taking this incident seriously going forward. Concussion is serious and like all good bullies the kid who assaulted your son made it look accidental. Your son cold have suffered a fractured skull or brain damage. I would not be happy with a letter of apology and would escalate this to the Education Department if your locL council and their legal department. Maybe then they would take this incident seriously.

[user1457017537]

Could and local apologies!

[Havetothink]

If they knew he was unconscious they ought to have called an ambulance or taken him straight to a+e not just give a full report to the parent. Perhaps you could suggest they refresh the staff with some proper first aid training?

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

I agree that they didn't handle it well, or in the safest manner for your DS. In my DC's primary school the adult who was the first responder to the incident is the one who hands over to the parent. And I know that in serious cases (not my DC fortunately) they will take the child for emergency medical care and meet the parents there.