3 tears, 3 stitches and painful hips

[Poppy1989]

Hi mums,

Baby boy is one week old.... on a normal birth he tore me 3 times and Iv had 3 sets of stitches all 2nd degree.
I know it's only been a week but I'm SO sore that even getting off the sofa and walking to the toilet is horrendous.
Iv been using warm flannels, and washing myself every time I go to the toilet. I know it's not infected but the pain is just getting to me. Took painkillers but the midwife said to be careful, as if It doesn't hurt I might forget that it's there and cause more tears!
Also I had issues with my hips and groin when pregnant... and since giving birth the pain is worse than ever. Back and hips feel like they've been shifted out of place.
(I have physio booked)
Has anyone got ideas how to help the soreness down there and if a sports massage would help? Isit safe to have a massage?!

[PersianCatLady]

Do you honestly think that you could "forget that it's there" no matter how many painkillers you take?

I am disgusted that women are expected to grin and bear their pain both during and after childbirth.

If a man had a similar sort of injury in the same area, I bet they wouldn't be expected to just get on with it.

My totally unprofessional advice is to take the painkillers and if you are still feeling like this tomorrow then I think you should contact your doctor and explains how much pain you are in.

[GMtoBe]

I remember that pain so clearly. I was alternating paracetamol and ibuprofen every couple of hours (and breastfeeding so don't let that stop you taking painkillers if you are). I could tell if I missed a time to take it because the pain was significantly worse so definitely get something for the pain. I also found lying on my back with a towel underneath me and nothing on my bottom half helped and using a small hand held fan to dry myself with after rinsing with water after using the loo. In a week your pain will be totally different, hang in there it is horrible.

[TroubledLichen]

Not a medical professional but I agree with PersianCatLady. Take the painkillers, as if you’d forget that you just had your bits stitched back together. Alternating ibuprofen and paracetamol is the most effective over the counter pain relief you can get but if the pain doesn’t subside then please see your GP, you absolutely should not have to suffer like this. I had c-section but was sent home with prescription painkillers, no one suggested that I might forget I’d had my uterus sliced open, I fail to see how a VB is that different!

And congratulations for your DS!

[bourbonbiccy]

Congratulation !!!! Yes i remember it, being in a lot of pain after my stitches, walking, going up and down the stairs and going the loo were all very painful. I got cushions/ pillows on the sofa to try and help ( it didn't). I was advised that the pain killers would pass to DS through my milk so I didn't take any and it continued for about 3 weeks. If you can't cope with the pain you should definitely take some painkillers if it is safe to do so

[Spanglyprincess1]

Hang in there I'm 15 days post birth and same three tears, surgery and sore. Honestly the second week is so much better but even then occasionally sore.
Braved a long walk other day, boy did I regret it afterwards!
Take it easy, look after yourself. If it's ñot eased speak to gp, HV or midwife as it's not ok to be in pain while caring for a young baby. I had a ten minute cry at midwife as I was exhausted and so sore !

[PersianCatLady]

Men are sent home from a vasectomy and told to take it easy and take the painkillers regularly and that is a little keyhole procedure.

Women (sorry) are almost split in two and are sewn up and then they are told to go home and care for a tiny new born but they are either tricked or emotionally blackmailed into not having any painkillers by other women in the caring profession.

Why is this happening in 2018??

[Spanglyprincess1]

I was also told exercise would help by older midwife what described stomach pain- no it didn't. It hurt.

[Poppy1989]

@PersianCatLady @GMtoBe @TroubledLichen @bourbonbiccy @Spanglyprincess1

Thank you all for your reply's. I have took on all your advice and will start on the painkillers today. I have also asked to see a different midwife to discuss things and not my usual one.
I completely agree.... we go through child birth, get torn and cut, and then have to go home and "deal" with it, along with everything else.
I won't lie... some parts I find easier than I thought, and others, I cry and feel useless. The baby blues are very real and I'm glad I notice when I feel like this so I can actively work on it.
I understand that I feel this way mainly due to being so so so sore, and tired...as soon as I can move about more and not be so torn down there.... I feel things will be better.

Xx

[littlebid]

Oh my goodness, get the pain relief! See whoever you need to to get it prescribed. I was on paracetamol, ibuprofen and tramadol for a week after my stitches: it was the only way I could get “comfortable” enough to do night feeds for one thing. (Let alone move, sit, go to the toilet..)

I did find condoms, filled with water and frozen, made ideal shaped ice packs. (And literally the only use for them I could bear the thought of!)

[Spam88]

I was advised by my midwives to continue altering paracetamol and ibuprofen for at least a week, regardless of whether I thought I needed them or not, to keep the pain under control. Even with the painkillers I certainly wasn't up to doing cartwheels or anything so I really can't imagine you're going to do anything to cause your stitches to split, stupid advice from your midwife.

I found sitting on a dining chair more comfortable than sitting on the sofa - too soft, felt like my vagina was going to fall out - so that might be worth a try.

I had SPD during pregnancy as well but it was a lot better after the birth, hopefully the physio will sort you out though :)

[Spam88]

And yes, the baby blues are very real

[justmetwice]

Definitely alternate paracetamol and ibuprofen...I was taking 2 pills each time (is 2 pct then 2 ibuprofen etc). I was also ebf so that is not a reason not too. I took them for a few weeks I think (baby is now 6m). I just stopped/reduced them when I started 'forgetting' to take them rather than looking at the clock to see if it's time for the next one's yet.

Sorry also to ask... Have you been prescribed iron tablets? If so, talk to your midwife ... There are options.. the constipation from the iron tablets made it so much worse.

[Cutesbabasmummy]

I hired a "valley cushion" from my NCT teacher - it's like a cushion to sit on with the middle bit taken out so there's no pressure on the stitches etc. I had it for a month before i could sit down without!

[Spanglyprincess1]

Baby blues are real, buy usually pass. Your doing a fab job im sure, take care of yourself.
Congrats on the baby

[PersianCatLady]

@Poppy1989 It sounds like you are doing a great job at being a mum to your new baby.

Nothing can ever prepare you for the complete shock that birth and caring for a new born is to every first time mother.

I remember leaving hospital with my son and I kept thinking "are these people mad, they are letting me leave with this baby and I don't know what I am doing?"

19 years ago when he was born, we stayed in the hospital for five days because he was my first and I was 20 years old but it wasn't unusual to stay that long.

Even when some women asked to go home after a couple of days, the staff encouraged them to stay another day if they didn't have support at home.

Sorry I have gone on a bit there but my point is it must be hard to give birth and be back home with your baby within a day or two.

In these early days all you need to worry about is yourself and your baby, nothing else at all.

If your baby is asleep and you are tired, have a nap. Don't feel like you should be cleaning up or doing anything else.

Also, like PP have suggested cycle the paracetamol and ibuprofen so that you have some relief from the pain. If that isn't sufficient, insist that the GP gives you something else but don't forget to mention if you are BF. If you aren't BF then tell the GP that as well as they may be able to give you something that they couldn't give a BF mum.

[PersianCatLady]

Sorry, my post had blank lines in it and they have vanished.

[kikibo]

I remember that about 5 days after DD's birth, my husband bought the wrong cream for nappy rash (face cream ahem), so we went to the shop together on foot because we don't drive. Shop is about 5 minutes away. Me in pyjamas and slowly 😂.
Next day I complained to my midwife who came every day that my bum was suddenly so sore (had had a massive epi). When she heard that I'd gone to the shop, she looked at my husband in horror and said it had been too much. And practically told me off for even trying to attempt anything more that day, telling me that I was just going to walk about a little bit on the terrace and no more.

If you're sore, the first thing I'd do is rest, rest and rest some more. Ice packs are also good down there. See if that helps. Pain in the groin seems to do with your pelvic floor, and rest is the best for that immediately after birth.
Fwiw, 10 days after birth, I went to my ob 20 minutes away and felt a bit sore afterwards, but nowhere near as bad. Just don't overstretch yourself.