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Fortnite! DS Driving me mad wanting to continually buy on this 'Free' game!!!

(76 Posts)
mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 10:16:32

My DS has turned 12 last week. He loves playing Fortnite with his friends. He's been playing this game now for about 9 months.

On and off he has purchased 'battle passes' and 'skins' plus accessories but it seems as now most of his school friends also play he's wanting to buy more frequently.

My DS gets £ 5 pocket money a week so previously if he's wanted something I've said along the lines of well that will be this weeks pocket money gone etc.

The Microsoft account is linked to my debit card.

For his birthday he got £ 75 in his birthday cards and he opened a bank account where he now has his own debit card. I want my DS to learn about money management. We are due to go on holiday in 3 weeks so I'm trying to encourage him save all his pocket money up for the holiday for that alone.

At this point in time the debit card has arrived but he's not opened it and I currently have it in my possession.

As he wanted a few Fornite skins he asked if he could have £50 of his birthday money for this. With gritted teeth I agreed but said he had to save the remainder £25 for our summer holiday in 3 weeks. He agreed. The s/o I set up to his bank account went in last Friday making his total £30. By the holiday he'd hopefully have £50.

Since agreeing to this he has since wanted to make 2 further purchases... one for £20 and another one for £10. I've refused, explaining he needs to save his money as we agreed.

He's now saying it's his money to do what he likes with and I'm being unfair! I've told him I'm not and he's going back on what he agreed. He's demanded the debit card and said the only way he'll learn is by letting him do what he likes. I explained I'm trying to avoid him overspending as he'll be sorry on the holiday with no spending money and I'm not going to fill any financial gaps or listen to any moaning!

Any ideas on monthly spending limits for this wretched 'free' game and tips most welcome.

One boy at his school (he's in year 7) is allowed £10 per month to spend on this game.

I actually cringe the moment he mentions this game's name... I loathe it!!!

Thank you in advance.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 12:33:48

* Typo - healthy addiction

Mammaof Wed 11-Jul-18 12:48:57

My ds is only 3 and even he has a say in what he wants to buy out of his birthday money.

GarethSouthgatesRevenge Wed 11-Jul-18 12:48:57

Have you told him he's a complete fool for buying such worthless things? I don't hold back grin. My 12 year old DS spent his remaining money on another fad (not computer related) about a year ago and the school banned the fad the next day. So on the rare occasions he asks for a battle pass I remind him he doesn't want to spend it all.

I do think he's right that he will only learn by getting it wrong. Sadly this means you'll have to put up with his moaning on holiday when he has no cash. Does he have siblings who will have spending money while he doesn't? Stand firm on holiday and don't give in, even a fiver.

I think Fortnite is a fun game, but it, and similar games, have made me hesitate about getting him a bank card. I'm not sure he'd have the self discipline not to spend it all.

Cadencia Wed 11-Jul-18 12:57:41

OP, I agree with you that £123 in a month is ridiculous! But don't you think he'll learn the value of money more effectively if he spends it now and has nothing left for holiday treats (and you absolutely mustn't give in and buy him some)?

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 13:10:21

Mamma My DS spent 2/3 of his birthday money on what he wanted to. It's not like he didn't spend any of it.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 13:18:39

Gareth

I'm the same as you and have said repeatedly from the start that I don't believe spending money on virtual things is worthwhile at all and have stressed it's a total waste of money IMO. He's not interested. Like another poster said, it doesn't improve your score etc.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 13:22:01

Cadencia

I agree and although I'm trying to prevent him making a mistake I think he'll have to learn the hard way.

Mammaof Wed 11-Jul-18 13:23:19

But you admit your still controlling the rest. He doesn't want to save it for holiday accept it. He's 12 not 2! Poor child

GarethSouthgatesRevenge Wed 11-Jul-18 13:23:40

What can I say @mummytippy?

As the domestique to a 12 year old gamer the only answer is coffee and [wine}.

Good luck.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 13:35:27

I'm thinking I'm going to let him buy the battle pass for £10 (Season 5) and tell him he has a £10 per month limit to spend online.
That then covers me for Fornite, Roblox etc...

I'll warn him about holiday spends and think I'll threaten if he moans I'll deduct further pocket money upon return from the holiday.

Something tells me he'll soon forget - again and if he does I think I'll threaten that I'll ban Fortnite entirely.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 13:37:46

Sorry Mamma I don't understand your comment...

''He's 12 not 2'' but you say your 3 yo ds gets a say...

Just finding that a bit contradictory.

Mammaof Wed 11-Jul-18 13:40:11

It would be absolutely fair enough if you wanted to control what a 3,4,5 year old spent it on, I personally let my children pick what they want, but he is 12! Seems as though you have a problem letting him grow up

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 13:40:29

Thanks for the luck Gareth I think I'll need it!

Think I'll get him to sign an agreement too! :-)

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 13:48:14

Mamma I have no issue with my ds growing up.
I just don't want my ds to be a spend thrift and with these games you have absolutely nothing to show for your money. I want him to be responsible.

All I'm trying to do is nip a situ (of having no money at all) in the bud. Plus importantly he agreed to only spending £50 on this game... 2/3s of his birthday money and saving the rest for the holiday - which he's quickly forgotten.

When your ds is older and wants to spend and unlimited amount of money online (which I'm quite frankly not happy to fund via his pocket money which I've worked very hard to earn) maybe you'll see my viewpoint.

As kids get older the presents get smaller but more expensive.

Mammaof Wed 11-Jul-18 13:48:30

@mummytippy sign an agreement, omg i have heard it all! grin Dont forget to take him to court if he breaks it

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 13:54:28

FGS Mamma it was meant tongue in cheek!

My ds is selective in what he choses to hear and understand as he's already proven!

LemonysSnicket Wed 11-Jul-18 14:05:58

It's his money. If he blows it, then it's gone. That IS the only way he will learn.

LemonysSnicket Wed 11-Jul-18 14:09:51

Maybe give him it all in cash - to buy something he has to hand the money over to you to be able to buy ?

AngkorWaat Wed 11-Jul-18 14:17:57

My similar ages DS blew all his money on Fortnite. It took all my will to not stop him before he wasted it, but waste it he did and then we had crying because he had no money left and he wanted to buy something in the real world. He hasn’t spent any money on the game since, so I think the natural consequences worked well.

I hate this game though. I have to be so super strict on time limits, or I can really see the difference in him. It sucks them in doesn’t it.

Mammaof Wed 11-Jul-18 14:18:41

I don't think he's selective I think maybe he wants what's rightfully his maybe!?

lynmilne65 Wed 11-Jul-18 14:24:11

Gaming only makes a ton of money for developers 😡

Trialsmum Wed 11-Jul-18 14:32:09

I do think it’s a huge waste of money and the game is exploiting kids but there’s a lesson to be learned here. If he spends all his money now, he’s going to be in for a shock when he gets on holiday and can’t buy anything. Especially if he has siblings that can. I feel sorry for the people that gave him the money though as it’s a massive waste. If he does spend his money then you need to be firm and not offer any more or the only lesson that he’ll learn is that if you waste your money, your parents will bail you out which doesn’t bode well for the future.

Ps, only on Mumsnet would a op feel sorry for a child for having to spend their own money on a ‘holiday that they don’t get a choice in going on’. Jesus, it’s a holiday, which many kids and adults in the real world would love to be able to have!

keepingbees Wed 11-Jul-18 14:32:21

OP it's definitely about one upmanship! And it's Monopoly money to them they don't see the real value of any of it. Banning it was a hard decision but he's actually been much nicer once we got past the withdrawal symptoms and he's back to going out and about more - and seeing friends in person rather than just chatting over the xbox!
For what it's worth even at 12/13 they're still children and I don't see the harm in guiding them on what to spend their money on. It's a waste on these games at the end of the day and only lining the pockets of very rich companies. My son now wants a nice bike, I told him he could've bought one with what he's blown on fortnite with nothing to show for it. I think he's slowly realising.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 14:32:27

Angkor

I feel your frustration and yes it sucks them in!!!
Kids are being ripped off and they can't see it!
I can see my ds will do exactly as yours has done...
maybe I'm going to have to let him learn the hard way as I'm the bad guy currently. Be great if that could turn round to being the game developers.

I need to work on the time frames too as it's totally addictive :-(

incywincybitofa Wed 11-Jul-18 14:58:33

Mamaof sounds about 12 I'd ignore her either you've touched a nerve with how she parents or she's found a goady stick whilst she was out playing you're job is to guide ask for the wisdom and experience of others by all means but don't let them put you down
I don't let DS play Fortnite partly for this reason so I'm no help I'm afraid

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