Fortnite! DS Driving me mad wanting to continually buy on this 'Free' game!!!(76 Posts)
My DS has turned 12 last week. He loves playing Fortnite with his friends. He's been playing this game now for about 9 months.
On and off he has purchased 'battle passes' and 'skins' plus accessories but it seems as now most of his school friends also play he's wanting to buy more frequently.
My DS gets £ 5 pocket money a week so previously if he's wanted something I've said along the lines of well that will be this weeks pocket money gone etc.
The Microsoft account is linked to my debit card.
For his birthday he got £ 75 in his birthday cards and he opened a bank account where he now has his own debit card. I want my DS to learn about money management. We are due to go on holiday in 3 weeks so I'm trying to encourage him save all his pocket money up for the holiday for that alone.
At this point in time the debit card has arrived but he's not opened it and I currently have it in my possession.
As he wanted a few Fornite skins he asked if he could have £50 of his birthday money for this. With gritted teeth I agreed but said he had to save the remainder £25 for our summer holiday in 3 weeks. He agreed. The s/o I set up to his bank account went in last Friday making his total £30. By the holiday he'd hopefully have £50.
Since agreeing to this he has since wanted to make 2 further purchases... one for £20 and another one for £10. I've refused, explaining he needs to save his money as we agreed.
He's now saying it's his money to do what he likes with and I'm being unfair! I've told him I'm not and he's going back on what he agreed. He's demanded the debit card and said the only way he'll learn is by letting him do what he likes. I explained I'm trying to avoid him overspending as he'll be sorry on the holiday with no spending money and I'm not going to fill any financial gaps or listen to any moaning!
Any ideas on monthly spending limits for this wretched 'free' game and tips most welcome.
One boy at his school (he's in year 7) is allowed £10 per month to spend on this game.
I actually cringe the moment he mentions this game's name... I loathe it!!!
Thank you in advance.
To be fair it is his money, it's totally up to him what he wants to spend it on. The money was gifted to him not you. You can't decide that you want him to take it on holidays with him, what does he need spending money for assuming your taking him on holiday?
He'll need money to spend on treats he wants in departures or in shops in resort.
I think it's a bit odd your not buying them for him but each to their own. Just explain to him if he wants '' treats'' on holidays he can't have them if he wants to spend his money on the game. If he agrees then problem solved
I have a son aged 10 who was also getting wound up about this game, as were his peers at school. The XBox is my partners', and linked to his account, and I'm not very techie, but my son accidentally spent money that wasn't his and got a real bollocking.
These games and how they lure kids in annoy me soooo much, it is a constant battle and they are designed to be addictive.
I really don't have any helpful advice but I remained extremely firm, and my son is simply not allowed to play it any more as it caused too many arguments.
I don't have an Xbox, sometimes he plays when my partner comes round. Some of the "but so and so's parent let him" are not always accurate.
My son does gets to play it at his Dad's (about every 2 months) so I know I have deferred some of the argument out of my house.
However I am pretty firm on this and think spending money on virtual skins etc is a TOTAL waste of money and just will not allow it, that's also why I won't cave to getting an xbox etc.
You can make the decision for your son. You do know what's best! And FWIW I totally agree with you.
I think a £10 limit is totally reasonable and also if he's spent his holiday spends, you must also be firm and not give in this holiday and give him an extra £50! That will be super hard (I'm not very good at it myself) but consequences often work, as they are neutral and take the emotion out of it, from "You're being mean" to "that's what we agreed."
But he's already agreed once Mammaof and is going back on that. That's why I'm standing firm. I've posted on here to get a broad viewpoint.
I don't have a bottomless bank account myself so I couldn't continue to buy unlimited treats on the holiday... I'm trying to teach him limits.
Thanks BrightNewLife Sound like we are on the same page!
You did well to be firm with your DS.
I think this is what a lot of children are lacking. I think a lot of parents are too soft on their children and I feel if you don't start out with groundrules and limits now, where will we be in a few years time.
Mammaof do you buy your kids everything they want? I certainly don’t!
OP stand firm, I’ve heard a lot about kids being addicted to this game, and when they are prepared to waste all their money on it then I would almost compare it to a gambling addiction.
Sometimes we just have to put our foot down, our kids don’t know what’s best for them, they rely on us to know that.
It's his money. Once it's gone, it's gone. My DS10 chose to spend his £50 birthday money on VBucks and knows that's it unless he has pocket money. He has spent it on what he wanted to, so I can't see a problem.
I'd also never make my child pay for their own treats on holiday - how bizarre.
Why is it a waste of money to spend it on virtual skins? If someone is spending a lot of time on a game, I can't see an issue whatsoever. I've spent money myself on skins or a mount or downloadable content because I game a lot. I don't see why it's such a problem.
*I’ve heard a lot about kids being addicted to this game, and when they are prepared to waste all their money on it then I would almost compare it to a gambling addiction.
Sometimes we just have to put our foot down, our kids don’t know what’s best for them, they rely on us to know that.*
I agree 100% with you.
It's his money. Let him spend it how he likes. If he has no money left for treats on holiday then he has no money left for treats on holiday and if that bothers him, he'll learn from it.
Kids will waste all their money on whatever they're into! It might be sweets, toys, comics or games - what a ridiculous suggestion to liken it to gambling.
Moody Some children are addicted and influenced by their friends in what they have and haven't got in Fortnite.
Well, he'll be asking again in a few days, Season 5 starts tomorrow.
The game makes Epic about 300 million a month, the skins offer no advantage in gameplay.
My lad's the same though, I've told him he can have the Wingman pass if his SAT's results are good.
I agree with you not letting him have access to the bank.
Best of luck teaching him financial management!
Well, he'll be asking again in a few days, Season 5 starts tomorrow.
That's precisely what he's been harping on about!!! :-( and as you say it's something every other day :-(
Good that you've offered the pass as a reward in the SATs.
My DS not at all interested in the football at the moment!!! It's all Fortnite, Fortnite, Fornite! :-(
Glad others agree with me. @missyB1 no not everything they want but I do allow them their own birthday money and don't keep it from them. Also I don't book to take them on holiday and then turn around and say '' this holiday wasn't your choice but you have to take your own birthday money for any treats you want '' that's shocked me more than keeping his birthday money
It would be the same though with something else. Trainers, football boots, whatever.
My DS is getting the season pass for his amazing results. It's something he does every day, so why wouldn't I spend money on it?
I sat down and worked out how much my DS had spent online from 01/06 - 15/6 and it was £53.
£20 on 18/6
He then spent £50 of his £75 birthday money on Fortnite...
So £123 in total in 1 month.
I don't think IABU.
How does he have access to so much money?
DS spent £50 birthday money on it back in May, and has had to wait for results before he is allowed Season 5.
But if He had £500 birthday money and wanted to spend it all on the game then that's his choice as it's his money. Does anyone tell you how to spend your birthday money.
I've just banned my 12 year old from this game.
Aside from the fact it rips kids off and he's spent a fortune on it from Birthday and Easter money etc, it's known to be highly addictive and I really believe he was addicted. He was withdrawn, aggressive, wouldn't come off the damn thing without a battle. We had 2-3 days of hell after we took it off but he's now back to himself.
It was DS asking me 'can I have...' ... me being distracted and saying yes... deducting from pocket money due... but then when totted up on 15/6 I was shocked at the amount which had debited my account.
My DS had also received an achievement award and got the highest score in a science test too so these purchases were partly rewards/pocket money.
I itemised all the purchases in a list and showed him... he was shocked but I feel as not physically parting with the cash he does not understand.
That's why I'm being extra firm now post birthday with his own bank account etc to nip this in the bud.
Mamma I'm sorry but you seem to just let free reign rule.
I admit I've taken my eye off the ball with my DS (explained in my reply to Moody) and the backlash of that with my DS is bad enough.
Well done KeepingTheBees
I feel that you have done brilliantly.
It is highly addictive and it's not a health addition.
I also feel when it comes to the purchases it's also about 'one up-manship' and these things are vitual and not real! :-(
My ds is only 3 and even he has a say in what he wants to buy out of his birthday money.
Have you told him he's a complete fool for buying such worthless things? I don't hold back . My 12 year old DS spent his remaining money on another fad (not computer related) about a year ago and the school banned the fad the next day. So on the rare occasions he asks for a battle pass I remind him he doesn't want to spend it all.
I do think he's right that he will only learn by getting it wrong. Sadly this means you'll have to put up with his moaning on holiday when he has no cash. Does he have siblings who will have spending money while he doesn't? Stand firm on holiday and don't give in, even a fiver.
I think Fortnite is a fun game, but it, and similar games, have made me hesitate about getting him a bank card. I'm not sure he'd have the self discipline not to spend it all.
OP, I agree with you that £123 in a month is ridiculous! But don't you think he'll learn the value of money more effectively if he spends it now and has nothing left for holiday treats (and you absolutely mustn't give in and buy him some)?
Mamma My DS spent 2/3 of his birthday money on what he wanted to. It's not like he didn't spend any of it.
I'm the same as you and have said repeatedly from the start that I don't believe spending money on virtual things is worthwhile at all and have stressed it's a total waste of money IMO. He's not interested. Like another poster said, it doesn't improve your score etc.
I agree and although I'm trying to prevent him making a mistake I think he'll have to learn the hard way.
But you admit your still controlling the rest. He doesn't want to save it for holiday accept it. He's 12 not 2! Poor child
What can I say @mummytippy?
As the domestique to a 12 year old gamer the only answer is coffee and [wine}.
I'm thinking I'm going to let him buy the battle pass for £10 (Season 5) and tell him he has a £10 per month limit to spend online.
That then covers me for Fornite, Roblox etc...
I'll warn him about holiday spends and think I'll threaten if he moans I'll deduct further pocket money upon return from the holiday.
Something tells me he'll soon forget - again and if he does I think I'll threaten that I'll ban Fortnite entirely.
Sorry Mamma I don't understand your comment...
''He's 12 not 2'' but you say your 3 yo ds gets a say...
Just finding that a bit contradictory.
It would be absolutely fair enough if you wanted to control what a 3,4,5 year old spent it on, I personally let my children pick what they want, but he is 12! Seems as though you have a problem letting him grow up
Thanks for the luck Gareth I think I'll need it!
Think I'll get him to sign an agreement too! :-)
Mamma I have no issue with my ds growing up.
I just don't want my ds to be a spend thrift and with these games you have absolutely nothing to show for your money. I want him to be responsible.
All I'm trying to do is nip a situ (of having no money at all) in the bud. Plus importantly he agreed to only spending £50 on this game... 2/3s of his birthday money and saving the rest for the holiday - which he's quickly forgotten.
When your ds is older and wants to spend and unlimited amount of money online (which I'm quite frankly not happy to fund via his pocket money which I've worked very hard to earn) maybe you'll see my viewpoint.
As kids get older the presents get smaller but more expensive.
@mummytippy sign an agreement, omg i have heard it all! Dont forget to take him to court if he breaks it
FGS Mamma it was meant tongue in cheek!
My ds is selective in what he choses to hear and understand as he's already proven!
It's his money. If he blows it, then it's gone. That IS the only way he will learn.
Maybe give him it all in cash - to buy something he has to hand the money over to you to be able to buy ?
My similar ages DS blew all his money on Fortnite. It took all my will to not stop him before he wasted it, but waste it he did and then we had crying because he had no money left and he wanted to buy something in the real world. He hasn’t spent any money on the game since, so I think the natural consequences worked well.
I hate this game though. I have to be so super strict on time limits, or I can really see the difference in him. It sucks them in doesn’t it.
I don't think he's selective I think maybe he wants what's rightfully his maybe!?
Gaming only makes a ton of money for developers 😡
I do think it’s a huge waste of money and the game is exploiting kids but there’s a lesson to be learned here. If he spends all his money now, he’s going to be in for a shock when he gets on holiday and can’t buy anything. Especially if he has siblings that can. I feel sorry for the people that gave him the money though as it’s a massive waste. If he does spend his money then you need to be firm and not offer any more or the only lesson that he’ll learn is that if you waste your money, your parents will bail you out which doesn’t bode well for the future.
Ps, only on Mumsnet would a op feel sorry for a child for having to spend their own money on a ‘holiday that they don’t get a choice in going on’. Jesus, it’s a holiday, which many kids and adults in the real world would love to be able to have!
OP it's definitely about one upmanship! And it's Monopoly money to them they don't see the real value of any of it. Banning it was a hard decision but he's actually been much nicer once we got past the withdrawal symptoms and he's back to going out and about more - and seeing friends in person rather than just chatting over the xbox!
For what it's worth even at 12/13 they're still children and I don't see the harm in guiding them on what to spend their money on. It's a waste on these games at the end of the day and only lining the pockets of very rich companies. My son now wants a nice bike, I told him he could've bought one with what he's blown on fortnite with nothing to show for it. I think he's slowly realising.
I feel your frustration and yes it sucks them in!!!
Kids are being ripped off and they can't see it!
I can see my ds will do exactly as yours has done...
maybe I'm going to have to let him learn the hard way as I'm the bad guy currently. Be great if that could turn round to being the game developers.
I need to work on the time frames too as it's totally addictive :-(
Mamaof sounds about 12 I'd ignore her either you've touched a nerve with how she parents or she's found a goady stick whilst she was out playing you're job is to guide ask for the wisdom and experience of others by all means but don't let them put you down
I don't let DS play Fortnite partly for this reason so I'm no help I'm afraid
Thanks too Trials and Keeping
Yes, basically it is all virtual. Monopoly money is a good way to describe it and if he does leave himself with no money for the holiday he will only have himself to blame.
Trust me I won't be giving in... he has a chance now whilst he has some money to prove me wrong!
Thanks Incy but you are of help.
The fact you don't let your dc play says it all really.
My gut thought it's an 'all' or 'nothing' situ with this game with no in-between.
My dc at 10 don't play this game but they do play other games with in app purchases, they are just not allowed to make in app purchases, it is a condition of playing them.
We play candy crush a bit and no purchases is a family rule.
YABVU. It’s his money and he should be able to spend it how he likes. By doing so, he will learn the true value of money, especially so if you’re going on holiday and he sees things he wants but can’t buy because he’s spent it all.
You keep going on about how he “agreed” to spend the remainder on the holiday. However, he only “agreed” because you practically forced him to, by holding the rest of his money to ransom if he didn’t “agree”.
If you force someone into an “agreement”, don’t be surprised when they turn around and renege on it. I don’t actually think it can be called an “agreement” if one party is strong armed into it.
A monthly limit for virtual things is a good idea - that way again, once it's gone it's gone. Maybe you could physically get an Xbox voucher with the money and he'll be able to see what he has left then.
I disagree with the comment that spending money on virtual things is a waste of money though. Its a hobby, in the same way anything else is. Most adults wouldn't see anything wrong with spending a fiver on a coffee and a cake, or a glass of wine or two. I don't do any of that, so if I want to buy something in a game that I spend a lot of time playing, I will.
For me it wasn't so much the money was a waste, it was the extortion for what it was. Most of the things my son wanted were around £16 for things like a pair of wings or a dance. A fiver would have been more like it. It's just ripping kids off because they can.
I disagree with the comment that spending money on virtual things is a waste of money though. Its a hobby, in the same way anything else is. Most adults wouldn't see anything wrong with spending a fiver on a coffee and a cake, or a glass of wine or two.
100% Agree with this. The majority of adults are happy enough to spend money on alcohol every week, yet they are literally pissing it away.
I’m not a big gamer, but I am a Pokemon Go player that puts money into the game. At least I see the effects of what I buy months and years down the line.
I hate this game so much. Personally I would let him spend the money on fortnite and then let him suffer on the holiday providing there are no overdraft charges or anything on the card
But if He had £500 birthday money and wanted to spend it all on the game then that's his choice as it's his money. Does anyone tell you how to spend your birthday money
Omg, well that's just absolutely ridiculous. You're comparing a just turned 9yo with a grown adult who has a grasp of finances and budgeting.
OP I don't think you should allow your DS to spend all his money on the game, if anything I think it'll make him even worse and he'll just want to spend more and more on it.
12 year olds are not adults, in fact nowhere near. They still need parenting.
My gut thought it's an 'all' or 'nothing' situ with this game with no in-between.
That's not my experience. Just set a monthly limit if necessary. My DS10 has also had to budget his money so he has some holiday cash, no issues, he's just put aside X amount for his holidays and can spend the rest, however he's saving for FIFA 19 so only spends a little on fortnite. He bought fortnite save the world for £25 a few months back and earns most of his v bucks on there which he can use in battle royale, might be an idea?
I would let him have the rest of his money after your holiday. He can either restrict his treats (without moaning) for something he really wants or he might realise that in-game spending isn't really worth it after all.
he might realise that in-game spending isn't really worth it after all
But it probably is worth it to him
@keepingbees and @WhatToDoAboutWailmer
Skins in Fortnite add nothing to the gameplay so they are an extravagance. The Battle Pass seems ok value for money.
As a parent of a 12 year old, my job is to teach him how to make these choices about value. It's much harder in a virtual world when it's £5 a pop instead of 10p on a sweet you don't like.
I strongly encourage him to buy vouchers for games so he can choose how much he wants to spend and then isn't sucked in by manipulative games. I also encourage him to code so he cab be a beneficiary rather than a sucker.
I also encourage him to code so he cab be a beneficiary rather than a sucker.
@keepingthebees It's definitely the extortion that brasses me off too... just no need for the amounts charged... especially when they know the majority of the players are kids!
@Escapist Thank you for the tip on buying Fortnite Save the World... I look into that. Sounds like you have a v sensible 10 yo ds :-)
especially when they know the majority of the players are kids!
mummytippy Actually, they’re not. As of April 2018, 62.7% of players were aged between 18-24.
So surprisingly nothing was said in a 'pestering' sense by my DS since I posted last yesterday. I told him I'd confirmed with his friend's mum his friend's limit which is £8 per month. This was met with a groan... but then nothing more was said.
Today Season 5 has come out and he's asked very calmly to buy the battle pass (£7.99) as he understand he needs to save the remainder for holiday spends The Battle Pass will last 75 days. I've told him I've set an £8 limit same as his school friend. He's currently preoccupied in looking at rewards within Season 5...
I've also told him that the Xbox will remain linked to my card and so he's set me up within his bank account so he can make transfers to me to cover his Xbox purchases. So far so good... maybe he's listened but something tells me the test will be when the next 'special limited edition outfit' comes out.. and I have to remind him of the £8 limit.
Interesting thread with lots of different views some of which made me think twice about my own approach to the kids and money.
Struggle a little with the idea that it is their £500 birthday money and they should spend it on whatever they want. It is their money but maybe this is when we teach them how they use it? Some for immediate purchases and some for longer term things (presents for Mum and Dad at Christmas!).
More to the point of the thread though, just clearing up the mess of £715 of Fortnite payments by the lad.
Comments on addiction are very accurate as the way the lad managed this was most efficient and clearly driven by a compulsion. There are no attached cards on any accounts so he did it the hard way and 'borrowed' a card from a wallet in the house. He also then intercepted a warning text from the credit card company querying irregular payments and confirming that there was no issue with the payments. And so they continued to allow payments...…..
The child knew he would be found out but his only focus was on the VBucks he would get.
Seriously complicated issue I think but Fortnite is a very clever product. The blend of a 'shooter' game with strategy, interaction with peers and, in my view, the really clever bit is the whole cultural bit of the dancing and cult aspects, Children fodder!
My own experience is that Epic Games are not entirely unreasonable but they don't get or want to get the big issues here for obvious reasons. The question that I have not yet answered well from them and which I would be interested to know from the community is 'who spends £715 on an online computer game in a week'?
You could explain to him that when he is old enough he will want a car, Better start saving now if he wants one, the insurance alone will cost the earth! X
I Absolutely hate fortnite! my ds(12) Threw a glass at me!,i told the cheeky little sod no more fortnite,Well that set him off.it was all effing and jeffing all bloody night long,i swear by the end of it i wanted to start drinking again! in the end i just said nope,and took the the gamestation or whatever.he is now tring to act good to get his games back,AIBU?
My DS is 9 and has been playing fortnite, he doesn't get pocket money yet - in fact his chores earn him the PlayStation time at the moment but he has asked a couple of times about getting a skin (he has a friend also 9 who spends £10-£20 a week - Well his parents do on it a week 😳) and I have explained it doesn't make a difference to how they perform and is a waste and for now he's accepted that and for his birthday he was allowed £20 voucher and also for Christmas he will get a £20
Voucher and that's it for the year 😳 maybe I'm just a bit mean but even the guy said in game it's such a waste and not to buy it! I also said if you've got the basic skin
People will think you are worse than you are and then you will surprise them
When your actually good!
Maybe have him play a different game? Fortnite's gay
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