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Fortnite! DS Driving me mad wanting to continually buy on this 'Free' game!!!

(76 Posts)
mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 10:16:32

My DS has turned 12 last week. He loves playing Fortnite with his friends. He's been playing this game now for about 9 months.

On and off he has purchased 'battle passes' and 'skins' plus accessories but it seems as now most of his school friends also play he's wanting to buy more frequently.

My DS gets £ 5 pocket money a week so previously if he's wanted something I've said along the lines of well that will be this weeks pocket money gone etc.

The Microsoft account is linked to my debit card.

For his birthday he got £ 75 in his birthday cards and he opened a bank account where he now has his own debit card. I want my DS to learn about money management. We are due to go on holiday in 3 weeks so I'm trying to encourage him save all his pocket money up for the holiday for that alone.

At this point in time the debit card has arrived but he's not opened it and I currently have it in my possession.

As he wanted a few Fornite skins he asked if he could have £50 of his birthday money for this. With gritted teeth I agreed but said he had to save the remainder £25 for our summer holiday in 3 weeks. He agreed. The s/o I set up to his bank account went in last Friday making his total £30. By the holiday he'd hopefully have £50.

Since agreeing to this he has since wanted to make 2 further purchases... one for £20 and another one for £10. I've refused, explaining he needs to save his money as we agreed.

He's now saying it's his money to do what he likes with and I'm being unfair! I've told him I'm not and he's going back on what he agreed. He's demanded the debit card and said the only way he'll learn is by letting him do what he likes. I explained I'm trying to avoid him overspending as he'll be sorry on the holiday with no spending money and I'm not going to fill any financial gaps or listen to any moaning!

Any ideas on monthly spending limits for this wretched 'free' game and tips most welcome.

One boy at his school (he's in year 7) is allowed £10 per month to spend on this game.

I actually cringe the moment he mentions this game's name... I loathe it!!!

Thank you in advance.

Mammaof Wed 11-Jul-18 10:22:38

To be fair it is his money, it's totally up to him what he wants to spend it on. The money was gifted to him not you. You can't decide that you want him to take it on holidays with him, what does he need spending money for assuming your taking him on holiday?

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 10:26:23

He'll need money to spend on treats he wants in departures or in shops in resort.

Mammaof Wed 11-Jul-18 10:28:38

I think it's a bit odd your not buying them for him but each to their own. Just explain to him if he wants '' treats'' on holidays he can't have them if he wants to spend his money on the game. If he agrees then problem solved

BrightNewLife Wed 11-Jul-18 10:29:20

I have a son aged 10 who was also getting wound up about this game, as were his peers at school. The XBox is my partners', and linked to his account, and I'm not very techie, but my son accidentally spent money that wasn't his and got a real bollocking.

These games and how they lure kids in annoy me soooo much, it is a constant battle and they are designed to be addictive.

I really don't have any helpful advice but I remained extremely firm, and my son is simply not allowed to play it any more as it caused too many arguments.

I don't have an Xbox, sometimes he plays when my partner comes round. Some of the "but so and so's parent let him" are not always accurate.

My son does gets to play it at his Dad's (about every 2 months) so I know I have deferred some of the argument out of my house.

However I am pretty firm on this and think spending money on virtual skins etc is a TOTAL waste of money and just will not allow it, that's also why I won't cave to getting an xbox etc.

You can make the decision for your son. You do know what's best! And FWIW I totally agree with you.

I think a £10 limit is totally reasonable and also if he's spent his holiday spends, you must also be firm and not give in this holiday and give him an extra £50! That will be super hard (I'm not very good at it myself) but consequences often work, as they are neutral and take the emotion out of it, from "You're being mean" to "that's what we agreed."

Good luck!

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 10:45:55

But he's already agreed once Mammaof and is going back on that. That's why I'm standing firm. I've posted on here to get a broad viewpoint.

I don't have a bottomless bank account myself so I couldn't continue to buy unlimited treats on the holiday... I'm trying to teach him limits.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 11:00:35

Thanks BrightNewLife Sound like we are on the same page!

You did well to be firm with your DS.
I think this is what a lot of children are lacking. I think a lot of parents are too soft on their children and I feel if you don't start out with groundrules and limits now, where will we be in a few years time.

missyB1 Wed 11-Jul-18 11:09:00

Mammaof do you buy your kids everything they want? I certainly don’t!
OP stand firm, I’ve heard a lot about kids being addicted to this game, and when they are prepared to waste all their money on it then I would almost compare it to a gambling addiction.
Sometimes we just have to put our foot down, our kids don’t know what’s best for them, they rely on us to know that.

ProfessorMoody Wed 11-Jul-18 11:10:26

It's his money. Once it's gone, it's gone. My DS10 chose to spend his £50 birthday money on VBucks and knows that's it unless he has pocket money. He has spent it on what he wanted to, so I can't see a problem.

I'd also never make my child pay for their own treats on holiday - how bizarre.

ProfessorMoody Wed 11-Jul-18 11:12:07

Why is it a waste of money to spend it on virtual skins? If someone is spending a lot of time on a game, I can't see an issue whatsoever. I've spent money myself on skins or a mount or downloadable content because I game a lot. I don't see why it's such a problem.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 11:18:45

MissyB

*I’ve heard a lot about kids being addicted to this game, and when they are prepared to waste all their money on it then I would almost compare it to a gambling addiction.
Sometimes we just have to put our foot down, our kids don’t know what’s best for them, they rely on us to know that.*

I agree 100% with you.

IToldYouIWasFreaky Wed 11-Jul-18 11:20:28

It's his money. Let him spend it how he likes. If he has no money left for treats on holiday then he has no money left for treats on holiday and if that bothers him, he'll learn from it.

ProfessorMoody Wed 11-Jul-18 11:24:29

Kids will waste all their money on whatever they're into! It might be sweets, toys, comics or games - what a ridiculous suggestion to liken it to gambling.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 11:28:26

Moody Some children are addicted and influenced by their friends in what they have and haven't got in Fortnite.

Jacjacatac Wed 11-Jul-18 11:35:25

Well, he'll be asking again in a few days, Season 5 starts tomorrow.
The game makes Epic about 300 million a month, the skins offer no advantage in gameplay.
My lad's the same though, I've told him he can have the Wingman pass if his SAT's results are good.
I agree with you not letting him have access to the bank.
Best of luck teaching him financial management!

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 11:46:08

JacJac

Well, he'll be asking again in a few days, Season 5 starts tomorrow.

That's precisely what he's been harping on about!!! :-( and as you say it's something every other day :-(

Good that you've offered the pass as a reward in the SATs.

My DS not at all interested in the football at the moment!!! It's all Fortnite, Fortnite, Fornite! :-(

Mammaof Wed 11-Jul-18 11:53:06

Glad others agree with me. @missyB1 no not everything they want but I do allow them their own birthday money and don't keep it from them. Also I don't book to take them on holiday and then turn around and say '' this holiday wasn't your choice but you have to take your own birthday money for any treats you want '' that's shocked me more than keeping his birthday money

ProfessorMoody Wed 11-Jul-18 11:59:37

It would be the same though with something else. Trainers, football boots, whatever.

My DS is getting the season pass for his amazing results. It's something he does every day, so why wouldn't I spend money on it?

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 12:01:16

I sat down and worked out how much my DS had spent online from 01/06 - 15/6 and it was £53.

£20 on 18/6

He then spent £50 of his £75 birthday money on Fortnite...

So £123 in total in 1 month.

I don't think IABU.

ProfessorMoody Wed 11-Jul-18 12:04:30

How does he have access to so much money?

DS spent £50 birthday money on it back in May, and has had to wait for results before he is allowed Season 5.

Mammaof Wed 11-Jul-18 12:04:58

But if He had £500 birthday money and wanted to spend it all on the game then that's his choice as it's his money. Does anyone tell you how to spend your birthday money.

keepingbees Wed 11-Jul-18 12:09:06

I've just banned my 12 year old from this game.
Aside from the fact it rips kids off and he's spent a fortune on it from Birthday and Easter money etc, it's known to be highly addictive and I really believe he was addicted. He was withdrawn, aggressive, wouldn't come off the damn thing without a battle. We had 2-3 days of hell after we took it off but he's now back to himself.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 12:28:19

Moody

It was DS asking me 'can I have...' ... me being distracted and saying yes... deducting from pocket money due... but then when totted up on 15/6 I was shocked at the amount which had debited my account.

My DS had also received an achievement award and got the highest score in a science test too so these purchases were partly rewards/pocket money.

I itemised all the purchases in a list and showed him... he was shocked but I feel as not physically parting with the cash he does not understand.

That's why I'm being extra firm now post birthday with his own bank account etc to nip this in the bud.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 12:30:57

Mamma I'm sorry but you seem to just let free reign rule.

I admit I've taken my eye off the ball with my DS (explained in my reply to Moody) and the backlash of that with my DS is bad enough.

mummytippy Wed 11-Jul-18 12:33:13

Well done KeepingTheBees

I feel that you have done brilliantly.
It is highly addictive and it's not a health addition.
I also feel when it comes to the purchases it's also about 'one up-manship' and these things are vitual and not real! :-(

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