How do you know whether to be concerned about your babies development?

[Prusik]

Dm keeps saying ds2 is very "baby baby" - as in he's slow to develop. My DBs little girl is seven weeks older (6.5 months) and is rolling and sitting. Ds2 is five months now and was three weeks early.

I think he's fine but DM keeps saying he's very young. DN is very sociable, chatty and animated. Ds2 will smile and coo but is more serious in nature.

I don't think I'm worried but mum keeps saying he acts so young

[Eeeeek2]

Your son is on the young side to do either, don't worry about it. 7 weeks is a long time for someone so little he'll change so much in that time. My ds showed no signs of sitting at 5 months by 8 months he was crusing the furniture, he didn't crawl until 9.5 month but walked 2 weeks later (as in full on across the room and hasn't stopped since)

[RunningBean]

Sounds like he's just more relaxed, my DS is like this. He's 7 months and can roll and sit up now, but he makes no attempt to crawl and even though he can roll he will often lie with his arm out making a noise if he wants something rather than rolling to reach it.
He's just a lazy baby but I'm sure he won't still be lying on the floor refusing to move once he's a toddler!

Next time your mum says it just say 'yes he's a lot more relaxed isn't he, I'm glad he's not rolling all over the place yet!'
If shes saying it critically that's not very nice of her.

[BertieBotts]

Your mother is being rather helpful and unsupportive.

It's totally normal for there to be a range in development and for each milestone there is a window, not a deadline. It doesn't matter if your DS is hitting his milestones later than his cousin, it doesn't make any difference at all.

You should get a check at 9 months where they will ask about various milestones and whether he is reaching them. You can also take him to baby clinic/weighing clinic to ask for advice. I think sometimes the red book also has expected windows for usual milestones, but if you weren't worried before, there is no reason to let your DM's comments concern you.

[Prusik]

I told her we can't compare and I dont think he's behind and she just said again "he's a baby baby and it's good shes a girl because she'll do things quicker and you can't compare" she is comparing!!

She then said ds1 was further forward than ds2 is now.

I don't really care and think both of my boys were within the realms of being normal.

She was also quite happy to tell me how unusual it was that ds2 is a velcro baby. Although is getting better. Unfortunately my DN slept through from about six weeks whereas ds2 is up 2 or 3 times a night which I think is good going

[anotherangel2]

This book is very helpful to uderstand expected development

[OnNaturesCourse]

Bit of advice I've given myself... Never, ever, compare your baby to another.

They are all different and all develop at they're own rate, some even skip a stage - just make sure you are as loving and nurturing as you can be.

[AreWeDoingThisNow]

This really gets my goat.

Tell her to stop going on about it, he's hitting milestones and the HV is happy. They are all different.

Tell her you love him the way he is and if she can't maybe she should take a step back.

My brother was always a month 'behind' compared to me (can you tell my mother is a comparer? She remember this stuff and we're 33 and 32), but when he got to school it turned out he could read and no one had noticed, too busy comparing all the things he couldn't do to me. I was 21 months older and awesome , poor guy, it quite literally affected his whole life, nothing was ever good enough, and eventually he stopped trying and got poor GCSEs, missed out on the college course he wanted and has had a string of min wage jobs in our hometown ever since. Not the worst life but not fulfilling his potential iyswim. He's just as clever as I am as far as I can tell.

I'm the mother of the child people compare theirs to. She's physically and verbally 'ahead' but emotionally on the bottom end of normal, so the balance isn't obvious. I remember an NCT buddy's MIL saying quite pointedly 'oh MiniAreWe can walk already' while looking pointedly at her own grandchild (they were both just shy of 1). I always reply 'MiniAreWe still wakes 3 times a night and is a fussy eater', or some other comparison where the other child comes out on top.

[Rach000]

Your baby is still young so doesn't need to be rolling yet. Most babies aren't at 5 months. My dd2 is now nearly 6 months and has rolled a few times a couple of weeks ago but not bothered again. She can't sit either. My dd1 was rolling from about 4 months and was a more active baby as wasn't relaxed and wouldn't stay still ever!! I am not bothered my dd2 isn't rolling and not worried at all. I am glad she is more relaxed.
It would annoy me if someone was comparing them. Just ignore as much as you can.

[GinIsIn]

My mum does this. She compares my DS unfavourably to all my milestones. Except I was a weird child prodigy kid who could read fluently by the age of two etc. Oh, and for the record, it all balanced out - I am a very average and unremarkable adult!

[Prusik]

@FenellaMaxwellsPony you've just made me realise that ds1 language skills are lacking compared to mine as at 13 months I could say if I wanted juice or milk and also went into a bed at 12 months

I have zero worries about either of my boys. Ds1 can sign 43 words and talk about 4. Ds2 likes to lie on his back and watch his brother.

Pretty sure they're both perfectly normal boys. Nothing remarkable and not behind. Main thing is that they're overall happy boys.

I'm cross now

[PureColdWind]

My DD3 only sat up at 11 months which is a bit late. She is completely caught up with other babies her age now at age 18 months.

[PinkSquidgyPig]

Urghh, I hate all this negative comparing!
My brother never crawled (bu shuffler😂), didn't walk until 19 months. Went on to be a champion canoeist and a mountaineer amongst other amazing talents.
My daughter crawled, reluctantly, for a couple of weeks, then got up and walked. She's an enthusiastic climber, cyclist and on the rugby team at school (didn't get that from me!!)
My point is: ignore MIL, littl'un will develop nicely at his own pace. X

[Dave385]

Hi, i have a 4 week old baby who has a cold and has done since yesterday, i took his temperature on a tommee tippee ear thermomater and it was 34.5. Is this normal?

[theothermum]

@Dave385 you need to measure baby's temperature properly in the rectum but with babies that small I would always call GP for advice.