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Deaf baby - struggling to soothe.

(18 Posts)
Leanneevans95xx Wed 13-Jun-18 19:43:33

My baby is four months old, he was 11 weeks early only 6 weeks old corrected. He’s currently on home oxygen.
At present he cannot year, we are not sure how permanent this is until we go back at 13 months.
He keeps getting very upset and when he gets into a state he holds his eyes closed so cannot see me, I can’t soothe him with words and holding him picking him up and cuddling doesn’t seem effective. Does anyone have any advice???

theSFclub Wed 13-Jun-18 19:44:56

I would ask for this to be moved to parenting or special needs chat, you may get my more replies x

coffeehasgonecoldagain Wed 13-Jun-18 19:48:26

Congratulations on your baby. It sounds like you will be doing a wonderful job already by cuddling him and moving around with him. If you speak to him or hum he will be able to feel the vibrations from your voice if you're holding him close. Does he calm if you stroke him on his cheek or forehead down the bridge of his nose? Have you got any ideas of what is making him upset to start with? It's a shame they don't come with a manual!

InNeedOfALieInNow Wed 13-Jun-18 19:53:18

Perhaps a certain type of repetitive movement? We found holding the baby and bouncing on the exercise ball was effective

PizzaAndChips Wed 13-Jun-18 19:54:14

I second the above suggestion about sound vibration. Could also try skin to skin and gentle humming / singing to him.

fuzzyfozzy Wed 13-Jun-18 19:54:26

Congrats!!
What about doing a regular baby massage, not just when unsettled. They generally do classes.
Is there a local hearing loss group, or maybe a Facebook page

Sunrise888 Thu 14-Jun-18 14:26:14

I agree with bouncing on a ball, and if your knees can take it, bouncing on your feet. Try holding baby and spin in a circle. I also dip my baby, holding him close and dropping quickly from my knees - that soothes him. I think the sudden changes in motion distract him and unless he is in some physical discomfort, he forgets about being upset. Can you also sling baby? The closeness and feeling of being hugged by the sling could help. We do all of the above in a sling as well.

lorisparkle Thu 14-Jun-18 14:31:29

I discovered my ds liked up and down motions so I would carry him in the sling and walk in an exaggerated way. My other ds had liked more of a swaying motion so it is often finding what works for them. My other ds liked vibrations and we had a vibrating bouncy chair.

RunningBean Sat 16-Jun-18 15:42:39

Try stroking his hair, and if its partial not complete then try shhing with your lips against his head, used to settle DD well.

Are they able to do a sooner test?
My DD had some hearing loss from being 28 weeker which was then worsened by meningitis, she had hearing tests every few months and the between the 15-18 months ones the inner ear fluid side of it started improving which has helped.

Have they been able to say if he can't hear at all or what tones he can? We were told she was able to hear some lower pitched sounds and not higher pitched. If they've not been very clear I would really push for one sooner than 13 months.

nomorespaghetti Sat 16-Jun-18 15:54:06

My DD was born profoundly deaf, although we didn't find out till she was about 1. All that singing of rockabye baby was such a waste! She was quite unsettled as a baby, it may have been the deafness, or it could have been that she was just an unsettled baby. I think you just have to be there for him. Cuddle often, lots of eye contact, I found signing with my dd when we did eventually find out she was deaf to be very useful, it seemed to help her make sense of the world. She did that scrunching up eyes thing, it was a bit of a phase, she doesn't anymore at 2.5. She loved when we blew on her face, and she adored baby massage. She loved looking at lights, even just me dimming the living room light over and over!

May i ask if they've mentioned what they think has caused his deafness? Have they spoken about auditory neuropathy at all? I think you should push for an earlier appt also. They ought to be aiding him from early on.

nomorespaghetti Sat 16-Jun-18 15:57:36

Oh, also you could try putting his hand on your throat when you talk to him so he can feel the vibrations x

TracyBeakerSoYeah Sat 16-Jun-18 16:02:41

DD (slight hearing loss when smaller) loved having her eyebrows stroked/smoothed when she was a baby & it would really calm her down.

EggysMom Sat 16-Jun-18 16:09:40

Our son was 11 weeks prem, failed his newborn hearing and was then diagnosed with auditory neuropathic deafness at three months. As others have said, we soothed with movement and cuddles. But we also found that, as he'd spent 11 weeks on NICU, he had become very good at self-settling too.

maggycool Sat 16-Jun-18 16:12:31

@nomorespaghetti my little one also liked feeling vibrations, he was diagnosed as being severely deaf at 8 weeks old and has had hearing aids ever since.

He loves (still, at 18 months) being sung to against his skin so he can feel the vibrations, despite being able to hear pretty well with hearing aids. ☺️

As others have said, it sounds like it'd be worth pushing your audiology team to perform further tests before the 13 month point as there may be things that could be done during this time. The National Deaf Children's Society (NDCS) are very supportive and should be able to advise if you're struggling to get your audiologist to do anymore investigations before this point. x

EssentialHummus Sat 16-Jun-18 16:17:27

Yoga / exercise ball? Vibrating bouncy chair? flowers Congrats on your little one!

Irisandthefox Sat 16-Jun-18 16:19:27

Delurking as has been there. It's really not uncommon for deaf babies to struggle settling, particularly at night.
My Dd is profoundly deaf in one ear and has fluctuating loss in her hearing ear. Things that helped her as a baby were constant touch, slings saved us on so many occasions in the early months. Repetitive movements, stroking hair etc.
Removing her from overstimulating environments to a dimly lit room until she calmed.
But singing she loved best. She would (and still does when she's ill) lay on my chest on her hearing ear, so would be hearing very little, if anything. But loved the vibrations.
Unless they have given you very good reasons I would be deeply uncomfortable about waiting so long for the next test. If they believe the loss is conductive due to congestion / fluid (they should be able to test for this fairly easily) it would be worth asking if a bone conduction aid could help if it persists.

Lovelise Sat 16-Jun-18 16:30:57

Hi OP, my DS is profoundly deaf. He failed his newborn hearing test and is currently in the process for cochlear implants.

When he was little he was comforted by rhythmic patting on the bottom and being held very close so he could feel the vibration on my chest when I spoke.

He was very unsettled at first but he's a great sleeper now!

DS loves anything sensory as the other posters have mentioned.

Good luck.

Lovelise Sat 16-Jun-18 16:39:26

And definitely push for earlier auditory testing! Waiting until 13 months seems like madness to me.

That can't be right?

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