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I'm a bad mum(10 Posts)
I'm a bad mum
I'm exhausting myself and I just don't feel I'm doing enough for my kids
I have 4 ... 2 teens both with extra needs which require a lot more support then your average teen. (1 not in school. 1 likely to be in education till 25) 10 yr old and a toddler.
I attend meetings. Hospital meds . Admin all for teens.
School plays assemblies etc for 10 yr old
Plus toddler time
On top of this all the housework. Decorating. Homework cooking. 99% of parenting falls on me.
10yr old has had nits for 3 weeks despite endless brushing and treating. My dm lives close by and "offered" to do it tonight it wasn't being done as a favour iykwim. I love her and she is a great support but any thing off(hair not brushed. Mark on clothes, house not up to stratch) I'm moaned at about it. She hasn't seen the battle prior she says I'm not parenting right I should be stricter. Set ground rules when I tell her I do. Have things in place etc.. it's never enough. I don't know what else to do. Disclaimer: my kids are actually not badly behaved wilful and stubborn yes. The arepolite and well mannered (always complimented by neighbours etc..)
I don't stop all day not usually eating till gone 9pm if at all.
I'm not looking for answers really just venting. Of course this just tip of iceberg and a lot of details omitted.
Right thanks for reading my moan off to tackle hair whilst toddler pulls my leg..
Where is the father of the children? Can he not help more??
Well if you're a bad mum, so am I. and 99% of everyone else. There's only so many balls you can juggle.
As for nits, I found combing with a nitty gritty comb, and lots of olive oil, every night for 3 or 4 nights was the answer. Don't wash the oil out, just put it in a pony tail. Her hair was beautiful after! (all that oil).
But I appreciate you might not have time for that. A hairdressers near me offers a professional nit-removing service - would that be an option?
He's here and "helps" but works to do I love hours. He's a good dad but doesn't often take the lead.
Does the oil not make the hair look greasy? I've tried the comb too. Didn't have them for 3 years prior to moving here.
Just feel useless. I really am trying my best and ignore mum for the most part. But it does grate
You sound like a great mum. If I could give you advice (and go back and give myself the same advice) it would be to ignore critical relatives. Pretty much everything I’ve done as a parent that I regret came from trying to please someone else rather that focusing on my own moral boundaries.
The oil does make the hair look greasy, but it's worth it. Try it over the weekend Fri eve to Sun eve if you cant bear sending her to school with greasy hair. Leaving it on that long kills the headlice, but you still need to comb the nits (eggs) out.
Ignore your mum - she's not walking in your shoes.
A bad Mum wouldn't care and you clearly do...
I think your mum is the problem here. I bet if you didn’t have her acting like Worm tongue in your ear you’d see you’re doing amazing, and being a great mum. Could your mum be projecting her own insecurities on to you? How many children did she bring up if you don’t mind me asking? I only have two children and I honestly find it a struggle trying to juggle everything so to imagine how you cope is mind blowing! I know we seem to be conditioned to seek validation from our parents but you don’t need it, validate yourself, look at how much you achieve.
Mum raised 5 of us. So she knows what it's like she's not the problem I am.
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