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Nightfeeds AIBU

(6 Posts)
Mumof2boys2018 Sun 27-May-18 22:58:19

Nightfeeds, we've all been there...

My partner has never ever got up for a nightfeed, UNLESS he has a late night and is still awake..

My second born had his first lot of injections and as we know it unsettles them, and lucky me it turned both my boys in to screamers for the night, so anyway he had his injections friday and it was my first shift back to work from maternity leave on Saturday (I do 14 hour shifts) 8am - 10pm, so my boy was up in the night 1am, 3am 4am, and 5am... I was ok with this as I wanted to make sure he was ok even tho I had work ... but the following night the injections have messed up his sleep routine and he was awake from 11:30pm on and off to 3am and id had a 14 hour shift that day... and the day after so I was exhausted to say the least ...... but my partner slept on the sofa not sure why but no matter how tired I am even with work I can't bring myself to wake him to have the baby because then I feel guilty???? Any advice or other people's experiences? Similar situations? smile

AssassinatedBeauty Sun 27-May-18 23:01:49

If you're back at work full time then your partner should be doing his fair share of night feeds. After all that's one of the benefits to parents of formula feeding, that the feeds can be shared.

Is your baby very young? You mention first injections, so am I right that your maternity leave has been very short?

whymewhyme Sun 27-May-18 23:07:48

If your back at work he should be up and taking turns. My fella was the same till I told him strait!

Mumof2boys2018 Sun 27-May-18 23:13:34

Yes he's 12 weeks unfortunately with both my babies I've only had 3 months off as I can't afford to live on the maternity wage as I have a mortgage and of course mouths to feed. And he seems to say things sometimes like 'well you wanted the kids' YES correct I did but you love them to, don't get me wrong he's the most amazing dad in the day I can't fault him at all, but if he gets up in the night I don't know want him to be miserable and shitty then to take it out on me

Aw12345 Mon 28-May-18 18:15:10

He should be pulling his weight much more. I never understand when people say things like "my DH slept through the baby crying"... No he didnt, he chose to ignore the baby crying because he knows mummy won't leave baby to cry. He needs to do his share, he also chose to have the kids, he can do his share.

I think it's amazing that you're back at work already and you're doing a flipping brilliant job. I have no wisdom on the matter but just wanted to say well done :-)

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 28-May-18 18:22:34

I would sit down with your partner at a time when you can both concentrate on it, and look through both your work patterns. Decide who is doing nights on each day, and make sure it's and equal split, or an appropriate split depending on hours worked. Each of you needs some sleep, and it will help to have a schedule.

It's poor form to say things like only you wanted the children. He agreed to have them, it's selfish and juvenile to try and cast it as only your decision.

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