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Abu to be sick of hearing parents whine about school holidays

(138 Posts)
Bekstar Fri 25-May-18 09:38:07

Our kids are about to break up for a weeks school holidays. Me personally I can't wait to spend some proper time with my child. I'm lost when he is at school. Regardless of how well he is behaving I never wish he was back at school.
But what annoys me is the amount of posts on social media lately about how parents are dreading the school holidays, that they can't wait for them to go back etc.
These are your kids, not the teachers, yours, they spend 6 hours a day at school, as it is. But then you begrudge them having a little time to let off steam at home. Personally I had my child because I love kids and although I know school is important for him, I love the holidays and love to spend time with him. Because during school term time I only see him for two hours each night before he is asleep, we don't get much time to do anything and when we do it's normally homework related. Weekends are super busy as it is because it's the only time DS gets to see his grandparents so again we are limited to the time we get to spend together just as a small family. So when school holidays come I'm over the moon, I get to spend quality time with my child. But then I hear parents whine about how there should be less school holidays or that they wish they were back at school, it makes me pity their kids. These are children who have spent every day for weeks on end away from their families, and so what if they are exited and a bit playful because its the holidays. Make the most of it
My mum had 7 of us and still made room for more through the holidays. We always had friends round, cousins stopping etc. Not once did my mum ever complain, she always made sure to spend time with us during school holidays even if it was just over a bit of gardening or playing board games.
Instead of whining about looking after their own children, some parents need to rwalise they brought that child into the world maybe they need to spend some time with them. Don't just leave your child to entertain themselves and then wonder why they fight and squabble or scream and whine. Plan something to do with the that's fun. Enjoy the time with them. They will be back at school before you know it.

mcdog Fri 25-May-18 12:09:15

Hard hat for OP...

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Fri 25-May-18 12:12:40

Awww I genuinely feel like that until about day 3 when I'm sick of playing referee to 3 kids.

WipsGlitter Fri 25-May-18 12:14:23

Do you work? For working parents or single parents it can bee very hard to cover all the school holidays.

Being lost without your child is a bit sad - he'll grow up and leave you eventually. Don't lose who you are in the intervening years.

KittiesInsane Fri 25-May-18 12:15:19

How’s your work about it? Do you have plenty of spare holiday? That tends to help.

SoyDora Fri 25-May-18 12:17:39

Mumsnet in a ‘some people are different to others’ shocker confused.
Some people struggle with childcare in the holidays. Some people have very little money and struggle for ways to keep their children entertained in the holidays. Mine are both pre school and I hate school holidays because all the usual, quiet places we go in the week are full of school kids grin. Nothing to do with not wanting to spend time with my children.
I think you need to perhaps work on the ‘feeling lost without your child’ thing. One day your children will leave home.

FissionChips Fri 25-May-18 12:20:58

I struggle with the holidays due to work and my own mental health, guess I should just shove DD back in my womb.

SparklySeashell Fri 25-May-18 12:21:59

biscuit

SocksRock Fri 25-May-18 12:22:55

I have to work over the school holidays so it's expensive, difficult to manage the change of routine and really bloody hard work. What makes it harder is people like you telling me I should be #makingmemories and #soblessed to be with my kids. I prefer paying the mortgage personally and keeping them housed.

NukaColaGirl Fri 25-May-18 12:26:13

What SocksRock said.

Eolian Fri 25-May-18 12:30:44

Oh give over OP. Most of those kinds of comments are light-hearted, humorous venting. Keeping kids entertained in the holidays can be tiring, expensive and sometimes a bit thankless. My dc are easy and good company, but somehow I still seem to be able to take the 'God, when's half term over?!' remarks in the way they are intended, rather than assuming the parents are miserable, joyless, child-hating wretches who should never have procreated.

Steeley113 Fri 25-May-18 12:30:48

I’m on maternity currently but usually holidays mean a huge extra bill for childcare. Which I do moan about. I’m also moaning because they seem to spend all day falling out and whining despite what I’ve got planned. They often want to do different things and they can start a fight in an empty room. I love them to bits but my god, holidays can be draining. By the sounds of it, you have 1 school aged child, that would be wonderful and I’m sure I’d feel the same as you then. But right now I’m tearing my hair out because my plans went to pot due to the rain and a sick newborn and the kids are arguing over the crayons with the craft activity I set up for them.

GreenTulips Fri 25-May-18 12:34:44

Some parent have SEN kids who hate change and will be a nightmare without routine

Jog on .....

Steeley113 Fri 25-May-18 12:35:04

Oh and money’s limited due to maternity leave, so that’s another worry!

Figgygal Fri 25-May-18 12:35:59

Do you work?
It changes the dynamic massively and actually it's a pain the arse for some people.

I'm lucky I can buy extra holiday but it still doesn't cover them anywhere near. We just about manage in yeAr but the summer holidays will be like a military operation and though I'll look forward to what time I'll have with my children the rest working parents could do with like a hole in the head

FrangipaniBlue Fri 25-May-18 12:41:29

Going out on a limb...... I'm kinda with the OP!!

DH and I both work and yes, trying to make arrangements in school holidays is difficult and can be expensive there's no denying that, but we chose to have DS knowing full well that we both worked and school holiday childcare would be one of those things we'd have to overcome.

Why would we moan about something that we made a conscious choice to do?

and moaning about your kids fighting/arguing/misbehaving etc etc guess what? Yep, you chose to have them!

I don't really have the time nor patience for those who moan about circumstances that they have willingly put themselves in if I'm brutally honest.

Paleblue Fri 25-May-18 12:44:55

I feel the same as you op, I love school holidays. But I have a term time job, I guess it would be different for me if I was working during the holidays and having to put ds into childcare which I think he would be anxious about. He has autism and would struggle with the change if he had to go to childcare. It would be awful for us.

FissionChips Fri 25-May-18 12:49:33

Why would we moan about something that we made a conscious choice to do?

You think everyone’s circumstances stay the same? No one you know losses jobs, has to take one with different hours, becomes disabled, has a child with extra needs?

How blind you are.

Also it’s really rather pathetic to feel lost when your child is at school, don’t you have a life op?

summerinrome Fri 25-May-18 12:50:59

I agree it is nice to look forward to spending time with your children, and I am looking forward to it.

That said, realistically, it will be hard work I have some serious health problems that mean I will absolutely struggle, and will be sobbing in pain by the evening.

It can be exhausting keeping them happy, and the arguments and lack of routine can be tricky all round.

But I am looking forward to the sunny days, when we can just pack up the car and head off on an adventure. I am excited about the picnics, the longer lie ins, the lack of homework and pressure and seeing old friends.

I could do all of that in four weeks though and send them back happy and rested, it is the sheer length of holiday that becomes tiring (8 and half weeks)

If you have just have one child it is easy. Most people could manage that all day long. I don't think you can compare just have one child to having many more that is for sure!

Steeley113 Fri 25-May-18 12:51:13

@FrangipaniBlue so you never moan? We’re all entitled to a whinge now and then. It lets off steam and is healthy. Bottling it all up is way worse. Plus, I feel way better knowing I’m not the only mum struggling.

Loopytiles Fri 25-May-18 12:54:33

Do you and your DH WoH?

If one of you doesn’t - sounds like you don’t - then your situation is very different from those who need to cover the holidays with only 5 weeks leave each (and that’s those with worker or employer status, plenty more don’t get paid leave at all).

DC “only” get to see their grandparents every weekend? Jeez. Plenty of us live far away from any family.

mummabeargrr Fri 25-May-18 12:59:03

I feel enormous guilt over the holidays when I am working. I truly would love to take 13 weeks off a year to spend that time with them, but I can't.
So I hate the holidays.

CazM2012 Fri 25-May-18 12:59:37

I chose to have 4 children, yes, I didn’t choose to have crippling anxiety and depression along with them but hey ho that’s the way it’s worked out.
A week with no structure and routine and them wanting to go out (which I can find difficult and don’t have the money for anyway) 20 hours a day of somebody constantly needing something (DS has medication that reduces his sleep so no 7pm bedtime) no space, yeah great fun.
I must put them on eBay so one of these parents who thinks the holidays are the best thing ever can have them and save them from their miserable exsistance hmm

Fatted Fri 25-May-18 13:04:46

I can't wait for this half term. I've got DS2 home with me currently with a throat infection that saw him in hospital last night. He's refusing to eat or drink or take his antibiotics and insists on only watching blaze and the monster machines all fucking God damn day. I'm also waiting for DS1 to get chicken pox after DS2 had them last week. I'm also working five evenings next week. It's going to be great. hmm

SamHeughansLeftEyebrow Fri 25-May-18 13:05:03

Have my first ever biscuit

I work full time. I have to, to be able to afford to keep a roof over the heads of my money suckers little darlings. I spend a fortune on holiday clubs, none of which cover my working hours, so I have to work nights to catch up, so I am constantly tired.

My kids do nothing but scrap with each other when they are at home, so even if I am off work with them, I feel like a permanent referee. Even a weekend is too long on many occasions.

Their grandparents are either 3 hours away or disengaged/disinterested. Either way, no help or support.

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