If/when to have third child?

[Rach1311]

Hello, I had my second boy almost 10 weeks ago (also have an almost 4 year old boy) and we’re thinking about getting pregnant again within the next few months. I’m in two minds about whether the timing is right, I wouldn’t get any money coming in for a second maternity leave and obviously having 3 kids is expensive as it is. However I feel like if we were to do it again I’d want it to be sooner rather than later. I’m 30 this year and I always said I would have all my babies in my twenties. However I’ve also had an ectopic pregnancy before I had my rainbow and the risk of it happening again is still the same as it was before (I only have one tube) and I don’t want to risk having surgery again if it did turn out to be ectopic and something happening to me and my babies would be without their Mum.
I definitely don’t feel ‘done’ having babies (and I hate to admit that I would really love a little girl) but the risks/down sides to having a third somehow outweigh the positives at the moment. When and how did you decide on having a third?

[IceBearRocks]

We didn't decide ..... She just arrived !!!! We have 23 months and 20 months between our kids and the first couple of years were really really tough.
Your journey as a parent has really just begun especially the juggling, school, work, out of school clubs, homework, tests, friendship groups.
IMO babies and toddlers are easy ...but kids they are hard work!!!
There no rush to have them before 30....enjoy them now! Also I have two friends...one had 5 boys and the other has 4 boys !!!!

[lornathewizzard]

I have to admit I’m a little impressed you’re thinking about another baby with a 10 week old!
My second is nearly 2 and I’m still not ready for a third. Not ruling it out for the future though.
It’s such a personal decision

[youlemming]

I have a 5 yr gap with DD1 and DD2 which worked well in terms of having one in school and only one in nursery to keep the costs managable.
DD2 is almost 3 so if we did have a 3rd then we would have a 3/4+ yr gap again.

My sisters DD will have just turned 2 when she has her 2nd so it will be interesting to see how things work with a smaller gap.

[mindutopia]

We aren’t having a 3rd (I hope, certainly I don’t want one). For us, the consideration came down to age (I’m 37) and logistics. A 3rd would mean bigger cars to fit 3 car seats in the back and a 5 bedroom house (we need an extra bedroom for an office). And just general costs increasing. My family lives overseas. It’s already expensive visiting them (as much as £1000 per ticket), and already nearly prohibitively expensive with 2. Plus we’re ready to get on with life a bit once our 2 are a bit older. I also had a miscarriage in between my two and I never want to go through that again, so that’s a consideration too.

But that said, I would say don’t feel like you need to rush into any decision. I didn’t even have my first until 32 and my 2nd this year at 37. The big age gap is amazing and means we could afford nursery for our first and I got a good maternity package. I think it’s worth the wait to set yourself up in the best financial situation you can.

[Mim135]

Sorry to jump in - I'm in a similar situation with a 3 year old and a 6 week old! Me and my oh would like one more and I'm wondering whether to wait a few years like I did before or have another sooner.. we've pretty much concluded that we may as well have a few tough years and get pregnant again this year. I'm still a little unsure but i imagine a close age gap is nice for the kids, and why wait until it gets a little easier.. brave the storm 💪🏼