10 week old crying, doesn’t recognise DH

[user1484167681]

Hi everyone, looking for some advice to ease stress at the weekends! We’ve just moved halfway across the world with our LO. DH has the first 8 weeks after his birth off from work,

[ineedamoreadultieradult]

I don't understand the question...

[WatcherintheRye]

I think op must have posted too soon?

[KoshaMangsho]

If the baby doesn’t see much of DH then the baby won’t recognise DH.
Why is the baby crying? Does it have reflux? Has the baby found the move unsettling?
If DH wants to bond with the baby then he can hold/carry in a sling/do all the cares etc.

[user1484167681]

(Oops, posted too soon!)

... so baby was used to us both, and happy with either of us. Now DH is away Mon-Fri with work, so I am completely alone with baby- he doesn’t properly interact with anyone else.

This weekend he has refused to be held by DH and screams blue murder until he gets into my arms! DH is calm and accepting, just cuddles and soothes - but it doesn’t help. I would prefer not to always be left holding the baby, literally!, but he’s normally SUCH a calm, happy baby and it’s sad to him so wound up. Plus trial and error shows he shuts up the second I take him, so it’s hard not to give in.

Does anyone have any useful advice for reintroducing DH and PFB each Friday/Sat so that we have a happy, loving, calm weekend?? Don’t want this to become a pattern, but maybe we just have to wait for him to grow out of it...

[puppymouse]

Endless calm and patience and tell your DH to keep doing what he's doing and not take it to heart at all. DD actively screamed every time DH tried to pick her up or she had to leave me throughout a number of phases and he just ignored it and kept consistent. She is still a bit of mummy's girl at times but often asks for him when it's just the two of us.

[OlennasWimple]

Are you bf or ff?

Who does nappy changes, bath type stuff?

[Carboholic]

That is still very young, and they go through phases. I'm not sure your LO honestly doesn't recognise your DH, more that it's just "I prefer Mum and want Mum and anyone else just won't do". My DS loves his Dad, but goes through phases when it's just Mum Mum Mum Mum; sometimes we know the reason (eg tired), sometimes we only guess it later (ah, he was teething), and sometimes there seems to be none (separation anxiety periods). DH is trying to be patient and not always hand him to me and actively involved, and not hurt by it. There doesn't seem to be anything else to do.

[user1484167681]

BF, but sometimes express for bottle feeding which DH will do. This also means I do the nighttime changes. I do all baths etc during the week; on weekends DH does them. He also does tummy time etc. Baby will accept DH when playing on his mat etc, but only wants to be held by me.

[user1484167681]

Thanks for your comments, I’m reading with interest. I’d assumed there’s nothing much to do except wait for it to pass...!

[Pumkins]

My little one settles better with DH if I'm not there at all.
Both because DH is more relaxed (he thinks I stare at him and micromanage too much... I don't btw I usuallybget on with housework ) Probably not the case with you!
Also and mainly that DD doesn't see me so she soothes with dad. Doesn't see me, doesn't want me! I remember once she wouldn't settle to sleep at night until I hid out of sight!

[Smurfy23]

I'd persevere- get DH to have as much contact as he can. Dd at that age didnt cry but was noticeably wary around dh at that stage- he made a big effort to do as much as he could with her and now I'd say hes her favourite!! Unless shes sick then its back to mum!

[Prusik]

No advice but I feel your pain. My twelve week old generally only wants me and only ever wanted me. He has an instinct when I leave the room even when he can't see me!

[ThinkOfAWittyNameLater]

Leave them alone together for a while. Enjoy a bath or a long shower.
Does baby see DH at all during the week?

[user1484167681]

Haha, pumkins I suspect I am guilty of the staring- but mostly because I'm torn between knowing baby needs to get used to daddy, and feeling sad that he’s screaming hysterically when he’s been good as gold all week...!

No, he doesn’t see DH from Monday to Friday unfortunately. We’re going to chat on speakerphone so he can at least hear DH’s voice... I guess we’ll just have to grin and bear it until he grows out of it!