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11 week old twins driving me to tears

(46 Posts)
twincessesmummy Mon 12-Mar-18 10:38:52

Hi everyone.
Just want a bit of a rant and hoping for positive stories!
My 11 week old twins won't be put down, they've been like this for weeks now, I'm really starting to struggle with them! They just scream!
I cried a lot of the time last week.
Please tell me it's just a phase and your children grew out of it? It wouldn't be as bad if only one were like this but it's both of them!
Thank you

Rockandrollwithit Mon 12-Mar-18 10:40:54

Oh I feel for you OP. Both my babies were like this but I only had one at a time, two must feel impossible.

My DS2 was unputdownable until about 20 weeks. Then I managed to get five mins here and there. He's now 6 months and will do 15-20 mins of play by himself, which feels like a luxury. This will pass OP.

twincessesmummy Mon 12-Mar-18 10:46:56

Thank you for replying!
Eugh 20 weeks feels like a lifetime away 😢! They will have 5 minutes in the bouncers, or play mat before they scream. I've found myself walking around asda with them in the pram just so I don't have to be stuck to the sofa with 2 crying babies, they're getting hard to juggle both of them now they are bigger so I can only imagine it's going to get worse before it gets better.
I feel like I can't enjoy them 😢

user1483387154 Mon 12-Mar-18 10:53:26

You are amazing. My one reduces me to tears !

Rockandrollwithit Mon 12-Mar-18 10:55:47

It was a lifetime! I don't feel guilty saying that I didn't enjoy the time when either of mine were very little, it was incredibly tough.

Be kind to yourself. I used to walk for hours with DS2 in the pram,just so he wasn't attached to me for a bit. Do whatever you need to get through.

twincessesmummy Mon 12-Mar-18 11:01:19

Aww thank you user although I don't feel it!

Asda will start thinking I'm a shoplifter or something 😂!
I hate wishing their lives away but I can't help it 😞

petmyunicorn Mon 12-Mar-18 11:03:22

My twins were about that age when I discovered slings. Was a total game changer. Could have one on my back while I changed the other's nappy, etc. So they were content as they were close to me, and I could still get things done.

twincessesmummy Mon 12-Mar-18 11:05:31

I have a sling it's one we're they're both on the front but a lot of the time they won't settle unless I'm holding them in the "tiger in the tree" position so even that doesn't help a lot of the time. They're screaming now I want to run away

Rockandrollwithit Mon 12-Mar-18 11:10:26

I wished all the time away in the beginning, each day felt like at least a year.

It gets so much better. DS1 is three now and such a joy and DS2 has turned the corner. Please don't make yourself feel worse by being guilty, you have so much time ahead of you to enjoy them. I'm not convinced anyone would enjoy crying babies that want to be attached to you all the time.

DS1 was an easy toddler too, the first months were harder than anything else we have had with him. Once you get through this bit, it's going to be great flowers

MyDcAreMarvel Mon 12-Mar-18 11:13:20

I have twins and found the bouncers that shook and vibrated like cars , was the only thing that worked.
Have you heard of homestart? They send a volunteer three hours once a week.
Also have you been to any twin clubs yet?

twincessesmummy Mon 12-Mar-18 11:18:06

We have them bouncers that vibrate they only go in for 5 minutes then start crying sad
Yeah I have been in touch with homestart they didn't have any funding for any new families for a while but they have recently been back in touch and someone is coming out this week to try get me paired up with someone.
Not been to any twin groups as of yet as I don't think they are any local to me!
I sometimes feel sad as I can't even take them to baby massage or anything because there's 2 of them it just wouldn't work sad

endofthelinefinally Mon 12-Mar-18 11:21:44

I am wondering about reflux.
Have you considered that?
Or some sort of dietary intolerance. Were they premature?

BrownTurkey Mon 12-Mar-18 11:22:34

Ugh poor you you are doing amazing, remember it will pass. my friend had a trainee Norland nanny - any childcare courses near you? Make full use of mums and babies drop ins, shamelessly abuse any help offers from absolutely anyone. Have a flask for hot drinks and easy food to grab.

Mathbat Mon 12-Mar-18 11:27:40

You totally can take them to baby massage if you want to! I only managed one taster class but I coped by massaging them each with one hand for some bits and taking it in turns for the bits that needed two hands. The only low point was when my little girl did the biggest smelliest poo you can imagine which totally overwhelmed the calming scent of the coconut massage oil, but never mind...

Seriously, if you can get to some groups, especially twin club ones, it will help as the change of scene will tire the babies out and they’ll probably nap afterwards. It’s also good for your mental health to chat to other parents.

Mathbat Mon 12-Mar-18 11:30:39

If there are no twin clubs nearby, then I suggest you call the organiser of your chosen class / group and explain that you have twins. Lots of playgroups have extra helpers who are only too pleased to cuddle a baby for a bit. Church groups are good for this as they tend to be staffed by enthusiastic older lady volunteers who miss their own grandchildren!!!

OhWifey Mon 12-Mar-18 11:43:00

Ah OP I have an 11 week old singleton who drives me to tears being unputdownable. So with twins cut yourself an ENORMOUS amount of slack and keep telling yourself it WILL get better. You've done 11 weeks of twin newborns; you're a hero to most of us with a singleton.

twincessesmummy Mon 12-Mar-18 11:43:39

Thank you for all your advice!
They were born at a good gestation - 37+4.
I don't think it's reflux as they go in the pram, and car seats ok which makes me think they'd still scream if they were in them? I'm
Hoping when I get paired with someone from homestart I will get the courage to go to some of the classes it's just a bit daunting trying to get myself and 2 babies ready for 9.30-10am.
God I'm exhausted and it's not even 12oclock 😢😢

twincessesmummy Mon 12-Mar-18 11:44:17

Thank you ohwifey it means a lot, I hope things get easier for you too!

endofthelinefinally Mon 12-Mar-18 11:54:57

Do you have a further education college near you?
They are often looking for placements for child care students.
I had a student nursery nurse for a couple of weeks when I had a 2 year old and a new baby. It just gave me a bit of breathing space to think!

MyDcAreMarvel Mon 12-Mar-18 11:58:24

Join Tamba op they have a free counselling/helpline they can also find local groups for you , maybe in the afternoon.
People will help when you have twins , try ringing regular church playgroups in advance I had people meet me at my car.
Twins have the extra cute factor I found people feel over themselves to help at toddler groups. I couldn't have been ready in time for a morning group though either.

MyDcAreMarvel Mon 12-Mar-18 11:58:36

Fell not feel.

twincessesmummy Mon 12-Mar-18 12:01:46

Yeah we have a local college so I'll look into that and also join tamba.my OH Is also going to book some days off here and there to help me

YogaPants Mon 12-Mar-18 12:08:40

I had or baby what never could be put down, so hats off for managing two of them for 11 weeks.

My baby massage instructor says if was teaching twins, one twin would be the demo baby instead of a doll. So could be worth contacting them to see if they will do the same for you.

sammylou1 Mon 12-Mar-18 12:11:17

I could have written your post when my twins were this age OP. There was many a time my DH got home and all three of us were crying at him. I honestly felt like they were miserable and they hated me. It will pass I promise you.

In the mean time coping strategies:

Plan something every day. Even if it is just Asda, a walk or going to the weigh in clinic.

Walk a lot. A crying baby is far more bareable outdoors than in.

Try to join some baby groups. Do you have any church ones near you? I found there were always grandmas volunteering to make drinks who jumped at the chance to have a cuddle.

If there is a twin club near by then go, everyone gets it. Makes you feel so much better

I have a few twin mum friends round the country so pm me if you'd like to tell me where you are, I might be able to introduce you to someone.

Also there's a Facebook group called twin mums in the uk. I'm certain you'd find someone near by on there. And it's great for advice too.

Musical instruments (or anything noisy)

A fan (when it warms up) with ribbons attached for them to watch

And nothing wrong with a bit of baby sensory video on YouTube.

I know the feeling of guilt re not taking them to classes. Do you have anyone who could commit to a class a week with you?

You've got this, don't doubt yourself, being a twin mum is hard!

FallenAngel89 Mon 12-Mar-18 12:15:04

My DS was exactly the same and would only settle in a swinging chair, it was a godsend. I couldn't imagine having 2 at the same time you're superwoman! Hope you get some rest soon OP flowers

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