Daughter being distracted by special needs child

[Larrythelamb84]

My 10yo is in mainstream school which gives priority to children with special needs. This child screams and lashes out at her support, and often goes into rages with long lasting periods of screaming. My child is now starting to find this difficult, despite being in the same class since reception. I have noticed an increase in my daughter saying she is ill and not wanting to go to school. When talking to her, she tells me she cannot concentrate with the screaming or get her work done. I'm not sure what to do. I've tried to explain to her that everyone is different, discussed (in child terms) about equal rights and asked her to be understanding. But it's difficult to bring it up with the school when I know they are bound too. Any tips on how my daughter can block things out? Distraction techniques? I don't want her growing up being resentful of those with disabilities or differences.

[Isadora2007]

I would talk to the school. I’m not sure it’s fair to say they prioritise children with special needs though, it’s called integration and should be about making mainstream school accessible to children with additional needs.

[Larrythelamb84]

The special needs children are placed before a child like mine, so if the school is tight on numbers, my daughter wouldn’t have necessarily got a place. So not sure I worded it correctly, but that’s what I meant sorry. I’ve booked an appointment with school but if I’m completely honest I feel really insensitive bringing it up!

[RatherBeRiding]

I would speak to the school. This is affecting your daughter's education. Schools are often caught between a rock and a hard place trying to integrate children with additional needs AND meeting the needs of mainstream children and ensuring their needs are also met.

Sounds like the school is not currently providing what your daughter needs.

[OutyMcOutface]

Is it possible that your daughter could benefit from some kind of extra support herself like CBT or maybe just noise defenders? I know that a lot of people can block sounds out but for some it's really difficult. I don't think that I could concentrate under those conditions either.

[PlanNumber]

That's the case for all schools OP. If a school is named in an ECHP then it has to admit the child.

[Montyrage]

Op sometimes bringing things up in a nice way with the school means that the child with the sen gets extra support too. Very often there will be a parent fighting their backside off to get their child the support or one to one they need and getting no where until other parents start to complain.

[TolpuddleFarterOATB]

We're in the same boat here as well OP - my DS really does not like the noise, and he has a couple of children with special needs in his class. It is really affecting him and his education.

Not sure what the answer is - when I was a child, children with SEN were taught separately, but I guess that would be segregation. It is a tricky one - I wouldn't want any children left out, but it is hard when it is affecting your own child - when are his needs taken into consideration?

[EllieMe]

Sometimes mainstream isn't the right place for children with SNs. It sounds as though the poor boy is very distressed and the school are unable to manage his behaviour.

Tell the teacher what your daughter has told you and ask what she suggests your daughter can do. The situation is very unfair on the other children in the class.

[Larrythelamb84]

Thank you everyone, I will speak with school. I just didn’t want to sound insensitive. My daughter has no issues which requires CBT herself, she just cannot hear the teacher or get on with her work due to the constant noise. I’m not really sure what the school can do but I’ll have a chat with them. This is my first time posting and you have all been very helpful, thank you.

[GummyGoddess]

I know your daughter doesn't have special needs, but have you thought about ear defenders for her? I can't see how the school would say no, they must have children there who use them if they've been increasing their SEN intake.

[Sirzy]

It sounds like the school are failing the child with additional needs to if he is regularly getting that distrssed and for long enough it distracts other children.