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10 year old upset about incident at school

(5 Posts)
ClemDanfango Thu 22-Feb-18 01:15:31

My DS is 10 and in Year 6 he’s had a bit of an upset at school today and doesn’t want to go back.

During a game of tag in the playground a boy fell and was slightly injured, my DS has been accused of pushing this boy (not by the boy who fell) it ended up in front of the HT with the boy making the accusation being told off for lying.

Everyone involved has been asked to write down their version of events including DS but he’s been too upset by the incident to be able to write it down, he’s worried that he’s ultimately going to be blamed for something he didn’t do, I’ve tried to reassure him that it will be fine as the Head has already told the accuser off for lying so she clearly believes DS.

The accuser is (we thought) DS’s best friend so we we’re a bit shocked he’d do this but after further discussion DS revealed that this boy has been making false accusations against DS on and off since year 5, has been pulled out of class by the Head regularly for behaviour incidents resulting in the Head asking the class to vote a number of times on whether this boy should be given another chance.

I think the constant fear of being accused of things has taken its toll and this latest incident has been the final straw and DS is just in bits and can’t sleep tonight from worry.

How should I approach this with the school? I appreciate they are dealing with this incident but I’m concerned about the ongoing behaviour from this boy towards my DS, I don’t want to be demanding or unreasonable but obviously I want this behaviour to stop and for DS to not feel anxious about going to school. sad

He’s told me he’s tried not playing with this boy but that he’ll then follow him around and accuse DS of spying on him and turning people against him, if DS argues back this boy then spreads rumours about DS and tells others not to play with him.

I’ve advised DS to tell a teacher every time and to play as close to a staff member as possible in order to put this child off targeting him but, I’m worried about this as DS informed me when he told a staff member last time they didn’t really do anything to stop it and the child continued to upset DS.

Sorry this is so long! Any advice would be great, I’m not used to dealing with negative school issues as nothing major has ever really happened to him at school before.

Super123 Thu 22-Feb-18 01:32:09

I would write a timeline of all the incidents and make an appointment to see either the Head or Deputy.

You need to make sure your ds is being listened to in school and not being brushed off.

I would explain how upset he was about the incident today, but they also need to know about all the other incidents and how this has built up and made your ds anxious about going into school.

ClemDanfango Thu 22-Feb-18 01:40:26

That’s a good idea thank you Super I’ll ask DS when the other times occurred and see if we can get something down on paper.
My DP is going to walk him in tomorrow and ask for a word with someone senior so hopefully we can get it sorted for him.

PerspicaciaTick Thu 22-Feb-18 03:08:15

Your poor DS, he will get through this especially if the HT is prepared to listen to him and respond fairly.

But I would be a bit worried about a school where the HT regularly ducks responsibility for disciplining an individual pupil by getting other pupils to vote on the punishment. It ensures that the child is firmly labelled as "the naughty one" by the whole class, gives the message that excluding and bullying the child is OK and makes the child's issues a subject for discussion among his classmates as well as giving the other a children a chance to get their own back on someone they may dislike.

ClemDanfango Thu 22-Feb-18 09:05:07

Thank you those are some good points, I think I can see the HT’s angle but agree that method can be counterproductive for the child.
I don’t wish him any ill will, I know he’s got it tough at moment and is probably lashing out but obviously my DS has to be my priority.
Hopefully it all gets sorted in the end.

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