How on earth do other parents get things done in the shops?

[Pansy0926]

My son is 2.5 and I am 6 months pregnant. As a non-driving family with a lot of distance to cover getting to work, nursery etc, we have relied heavily on our stroller. We have a nice all terrain buggy which folds small and is easy to move with one hand and carries a decent amount of shopping (Baby Jogger City Mini GT, if your interested - highly recommend), so it’s used all the time. Now that DS2 is on the way though, we have been trialling walking everywhere with DS1. What a nightmare!

If he is in a good mood it’s fine. Neutral moods always descent into bad moods though.

He ran away a lot, so we got toddler reins, which he hates and if he is in a bad mood he will twist away, tug at them, refuse to move...but without them he has been known to let go of my hand, run out of sight or into dangerous situations.

In shops, he tends to try picking everything up and it takes ages to get him to put the things back where he got them, and the last thing I need is to have to pay for something if he starts eating it (not done this yet btw, but I anticipate it happening).

You know how you get your shopping bag ready and dig out your change or debit card in queues? Yeah, not happening, because he is doing all of the above (and so requiring both my hands to keep him out of trouble) as well as talking to strangers and drawing attention.

And let’s not mention that he is new to potty training and will not tell me when he needs to go so I have to guess and make sure we delay things by 10 minutes every now and again to go potty. We can’t take a carry along potty anymore without the pram, as I am already weighed down with bags of shopping, snacks, spare clothes and baby bump.

Am I trying to do too much here? Or does it get easier? I know I could get a double buggy (for him) or sling (for baby) but he is a big boy and is beginning to look too big for his stroller so I really would like to have him walk nicely with me - I see so many other toddlers managing it, why not mine?

Oh, and in case it matters, it takes us half an hour to walk with him to nursery and he is perfectly capable but in a mood he is prone to sitting down, sometimes in puddles. My back hurts too much to start a habit of carrying him so I tend to give up and take the stroller. Today we went out to the shops for 45 minutes and managed ok, but with a lot of stress on my part despite his good mood due to some of the above situations.

[purpleme12]

Oh my god I would just like to say I love that pushchair too!

And by the way I used the pushchair til she was almost 4. Not all the time I'd encourage her to walk but there were many times I'd bring it just in case and also she'd just refuse to walk sometimes (other times very good at walking). I also don't drive and would walk miles. So bearing this in mind I wouldn't worry about using the pushchair still

[Lules]

Get a double. Trying to deal with a rampaging toddler and a baby in a pram when you’re knackered is not fun.

[RockCrushesLizard]

Have you tried a buggy board? I definitely preferred the newborn in a sling and big one in the buggy. I see plenty on 3.5 year olds in strollers, so I wouldn't worry about him being too big.

I generally used a tight grip on reins, and in extremis a child under my arm like a rugby ball if she refused to cooperate (which she hated, so would generally walk nicely, albeit tearfully, afterwards). Then everything else one handed. Also lots of online shopping.

[BuffalotheGruffalo]

I'm sort of adjusting to DS who will be 3 in April not wanting to be in the pram or trolley now. I drive but we do often walk to the shop. I've found the thing that works the best is a plan of action and keep telling him what we are doing, why we are going and getting him to remember what we need to buy. He really enjoys finding the bits and getting them for me. I've definitely realised I need to allow 3x as long to 'grab a few bits', no more rushing in and out. Mostly it's been disaster free but I've ended up with the few un-needed bits that he just couldn't leave and we've had a few sit on the floor screaming moments. But, as long as I let him help lots as much as he can he's pretty good. Could you give DS a shopping list to keep him focussed?

[Callamia]

Buggy Board. They fit fine on the BJCM, and it’s saved my sanity on various occasions .

[ljlkk]

Mine hated buggy board... Yours didn't come installed with the perfectly-behaved-outside-buggy programme, OP. Make your life easier & go for a double. Give him some physical boundaries & yourself a break.

[thenewaveragebear1983]

Take the pushchair with you, do the bulk of your shopping, then when he gets restless or bored in there, then let him out- on strictest instructions that behaviour is to be impeccable. You’ll hardly manage to do anything but walk slowly around, but that doesn’t matter because you’ll have done your shopping. We do this With Ds (2.3) And he now walks pretty well, but it’s taken some training.

You might need to engineer some short walks to facilitate this, but once they realise that you mean it and he’ll go back in the buggy if he walks off or messes about, they are old enough at that age to understand.

[Keepingupwiththejonesys]

I had a double with my first 2 (just under 2 years gap) and while it was great for the first six months I sold it after that . there's 2 years 4 months between second and third and I didn't bother with a double. Not being 'goady' or whatever but I personally think over age 3 is to big to be in a pram and from age 2 they should be walking a lot of the journey (obviously of no disabilities etc are present). I do think buggy boards are fab though, great to speed the journey up when bad weather or in a rush. The way I've done it is to have the kids walk next to the pram from as soon as they can physically walk. Obviously not the whole journey but say we are walking into town let them walk part of the way. After school/preschool drop off let the little one walk a little bit of the way back. I think it gets them used to not only walking but the road safety aspect as they learn it from such a young age.

Just to add I also don't drive and we do a lot of walking. It does take longer though, walking into town is a half hour walk with the kids, 20 minutes tops on my own

[Believeitornot]

We had a double! I didn’t need Drive much and we let toddler do his walking then into the buggy with a snack for quick shopping trips which I kept to a minimum.

[mindutopia]

I personally would keep him in the pushchair if it's easier and wear baby. Or a buggy board if he's keen. Mine definitely wasn't walking any decent distance without a fight until 3-3.5. We still used the pushchair with her on occasion for really long distances when she was 4.

[Atticusss]

If you don't have a car a double buggy is essential for under 4's imo. The other toddlers you see are probably just nipping in from the car and they aren't bored of walking and following etc. I definitely couldn't walk my 4 and a half year old to the local supermarket and do a shop, she'd be running around, getting lost, grabbing things. I think your expectations are way too high. Do online shopping.

[TerfsForWomen]

You are doing too much! Double buggy, or baby in sling with toddler in buggy. Buggy board is expecting a lot at 2, but one of those sit and stand ones are good. Sometimes mine just wanted a rest sitting down in between running around like a loon.

[JD360]

Buggy boards are fantastic there is a year between my two andwhen they were younger it was a life saver

[oncountdowntospring]

Containment is key IMO!

There are 3 years between my youngest and my 'runner' child. I just kept going with the pushchair until I could manage the situation. I also couldn't give shiny shits about out 'ooooh your big to be riding in a pushchair' comments either. When the youngest arrived I had him in the sling and the 3 year old in the puschair.

And internet shopping, Ocado, Amazon prime and Tesco groceries, I love them all! I don't tend to do serious shopping with the DC if I can help it!

[Fishinthesink]

I was in this situation (no car) and I bloody wish I'd got a double instead of soldiering on. we had the same gap. DD1 still naps at the weekend now at 4 and was a very late walker. Get one. They might both nap occasionally and then it's a win.

[Fishinthesink]

Oh- DD1 refused a buggy board. If they won't, they won't.

[Yika]

I only had one but could not have gone shopping at that age without her in the pushchair. She went in it until around 4.2 and would have been happy using it for longer. Otherwise it was all running off and playing hide and seek.

I also try to do shopping when she is not with me, or get it all delivered. Shopping with small kids is no fun.

[Spanneroo]

Get into babywearing for DC2. That way, you can use the pushchair for an extra 6 months (or more!) While you build up your son's stamina and his general self control improves.

There's almost exactly 3 years between my two and it's worked a charm. DC2 has just started regularly using the pushchair at 8 months (though I could have carried her longer even though she's enormous). DC1 very rarely wanders off etc nowadays and is so much better at following instructions now than a year ago!!

[youarenotkiddingme]

Was also going to suggest a buggy board. Great way to do a combination of walking and somewhere for him if he's tired (likely cause of strops!).

And yes, you're probably trying to do too much! I think there's this automatic need to get toddler to 'do stuff' when pregnant because soon they'll be the eldest and not 'the baby' anymore.

[knottybeams]

Buggy board the big one or Sling the little!

[halcyondays]

Just let him use the buggy when he's tired and get a double. Why make life harder for yourself than it needs to be?

[Tawdrylocalbrouhaha]

Tricky age gap.

If you had a car you probably wouldn't need a double buggy, but without one I definitely think you should. My DS is 3y2m and almost never uses the buggy BUT then you have the day where he is under the weather and we are running late and it's raining... Can you hang onto the current buggy and just borrow or buy a secondhand double for a year?

As far as the shops go, online shopping is great, but the pulling-everything-off-the-shelves phase will end soon. To be replaced by the but-I-want-it-but-I-LOVE-it! phase.

[clarrylove]

I gave up shopping. DH did the grocery shop, non groceries were bought online or when I could go alone. Or, we shopped in our local town, very short trips at a time when we could take the push along trike or electric jeep and we could pop into the park as a bribe!

[TittyGolightly]

Who decided to potty train? He doesn’t sound ready.

[TittyGolightly]

Oh, and ocado!