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"How to talk so kdis will listenand listen so kids will talk" - anyone want to go trhough this book?

(631 Posts)
Porcupine Tue 01-May-07 16:58:45

and see hwat we think of it?

Its wuite heavy reading( not intellectually) just very close set type and lots of americna egs
But i reckon we cna do it.

Porcupine Tue 01-May-07 16:59:21

lol at first line" i was a wonderful parent before i had kids"

NuttyMuffins Tue 01-May-07 16:59:58

Can't actually go through it yet as have only just this sec brought it off ebay, but will sit quietly in the corner and listen

Porcupine Tue 01-May-07 17:00:30

ok fisrt idea

accept your kids feelings
( snowy day) kid - Im hot
parent " you arent hot its freezeing"

ie parent deying kdis feeling

CristinaTheAstonishing Tue 01-May-07 17:01:10

It's an excellent book. After much sniggering about it, even DH had to admit it was pretty good after reading "the important bits", as he put it.

PetronellaPinkPants Tue 01-May-07 17:01:47

So instead do you just rip all their clothes off and chuck them in a snow drift?

NuttyMuffins Tue 01-May-07 17:02:07

Hmm ok, have no prob with that bit, do usually accept most of what they say anyway.

Porcupine Tue 01-May-07 17:02:36

so the summary is
1. listen with full attention
". acknowledge feelign wihta word " ooh" or " i see"
3. giev theri feeligns a name" so you are feeling a bit toasty?"

4. give them their wishes in fantasy " maybe we shoudl ask the wather to get even colder!"!"

PetronellaPinkPants Tue 01-May-07 17:03:50

sounds sensible

what next?

CristinaTheAstonishing Tue 01-May-07 17:03:51

Re: denying kid's feelings, once I read it there I realised I did it quite often, e.g. "I'm scared/bored/angry" would get a reply of "oh no you're not" and reasons why he c/wouldn't be. Now I tend to go along with "yes, I can see you're bored, I'd be too" etc.

NuttyMuffins Tue 01-May-07 17:04:12

See those bits, 'giving their feeling a name' and 'give them their wishes in a fantasy', are bits I wouldn't normally do, kids would think I was nuts LOL.

NuttyMuffins Tue 01-May-07 17:04:39

Will try though

Porcupine Tue 01-May-07 17:04:43

bad parent eg here

kid "someone stile my pencil"
parent" are you sure oyu didnt lose it?"

kid " i didnt it was on my desk when i went to the loo"

parent " wel you always leave your things lying around i always tell you PUt it away and oyu never listen to me

kid" oh leave me alone"

parent ( loev this americanism) " dont eb fresh"

NuttyMuffins Tue 01-May-07 17:05:12

OMG that example was me

NuttyMuffins Tue 01-May-07 17:05:29

without the fresh bit lol.

NadineBaggott Tue 01-May-07 17:05:37

'give their feelings a name'

why can't you just listen to them and then tell them to do as they're told?

NappiesGalore Tue 01-May-07 17:05:44

are you gonna read the whole book right now? think ill go grab my copy...
(have loads of these books but never time to read em)

Porcupine Tue 01-May-07 17:05:54

int he red pencil good parent eg the parent simply slutesn saying ahaa, mm oh i see
til the kid works out that they wil ahevto hide their pencil whne they go for a piss

Porcupine Tue 01-May-07 17:06:28

and baggy baggot move along we are tyring to be HELPFUL

PetronellaPinkPants Tue 01-May-07 17:06:34


krabbiepatty Tue 01-May-07 17:06:58

The problem I have is that the kid would not understand a word the Porcupine parent was saying...

NuttyMuffins Tue 01-May-07 17:07:01

Right ok, can do that.

Porcupine Tue 01-May-07 17:07:10

the poarent listens to the kdi ranting abotu the farking pencil making nice noises
( i htink int he pic she is reading heat)

Porcupine Tue 01-May-07 17:07:27

ok one more eg

RubyRioja Tue 01-May-07 17:08:07

Yes but kids talk such pants - how can I possibly respect that???

Well my kids do anyway <<Ruby lights fag, sips can of special brew and wonders when it all went wrong>>

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