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Please tell me someone else has felt like this

(11 Posts)
Beu72 Thu 08-Feb-18 18:08:46

I don't love ds2.
He's almost 4 now. He's never been a difficult child and he was planned and very much wanted.
I always thought I'd bond with him eventually and I'd feel the same way about him as I do about ds1 but I feel at this point it's never going to happen and I don't know what's wrong with me.
I make a conscious effort to treat him the same as ds1 and give him affection and attention and he has a wonderful dad and grandma who adore both him and his big brother but he deserves a proper mum.

Beu72 Thu 08-Feb-18 19:15:13


Beu72 Thu 08-Feb-18 19:48:03


Snowydaysarehere Thu 08-Feb-18 19:53:18

No real experience except I struggled to bond with ds as we were evicted from our beautiful home when he was very young and my head was in a bad place. Did anything happen around the time of his birth that holds bad memories? Hoping someone more helpful comes along soon for you op. It must be upsetting for you. flowers

user764329056 Thu 08-Feb-18 19:56:36

I feel for you, can you analyse a bit about why you may feel like this? You can be brutally honest here xx

Mybabystolemysanity Thu 08-Feb-18 20:02:17

Bless you. Little advice to give but wanted to acknowledge what you're going through. I'm struggling badly with 14mo DD and pregnant with number two and dreading going through it all again. I genuinely don't know if or how it gets any better but you are definitely not on your own. If I had realised how utterly joyless and upsetting parenting would be I might not have done it.

geekymommy Thu 08-Feb-18 20:07:07

No, you are not.
Bunmi Laditan wrote about this.

Amazing77 Thu 08-Feb-18 20:09:01

You sound like a really loving and good Mum. As my hubbie says your worrying shows you are a good Mum. I know I bonded better with my second I think this was due to me following my instincts rather than a book that we followed with the first. Also that the second fed a lot better. The first didn't feed well and trying to sort out breastfeeding was very.stressful. I love them both the same and they both cause me the same joy and irritation on a daily basis!! I find with mine now that they'll take it in turns to give me a really lovely Awww moment or worrying moment and thinking about it I love them both the same. Do you have these moments with yours? Try not to over analyze if you can xx

Amazing77 Thu 08-Feb-18 20:13:15

Dear MyBabyStoleMySanity, oh it does get better. Honestly it does, I think perhaps we all put too much pressure on being perfect parents. It's very hard work being a parent on any level, exhausting flowers

Mybabystolemysanity Thu 08-Feb-18 20:40:25

Hope you're ok, OP. I know how sad you are. Keep going and try to remain hopeful that it'll get better. I had a wonderful health visitor last year who was a saviour in terms of giving me a safe place to talk about how I was feeling. Maybe ring for a chat if you feel able?

HughLauriesStubble Thu 08-Feb-18 22:31:08

This can sometimes be a symptom of pnd op. Can you speak to your gp or hv?

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