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Opinion on my 8yr olds bullying please

(13 Posts)
autismmumwithafamily Tue 06-Feb-18 09:48:24

So I really need some opinions on what to do from people who have been there or know more than me.
My 8 year old DD is being bullied. It's not severe, but it's building.
She had a very close best friend for much of infant school. Last year the best friend didn't want to be my DD's best friend anymore as a new girl had come into class who was cooler than my DD.
My DD was devastated but has tried to find new friends and do new things (she's joined Brownies for example).
The trouble is this ex best friend doesn't want my DD in her friend group at all. She says she's embarrassing, fat, immature. My DD likes a game called roblox and I let her play online with her friends (ones I know and I do check!) over Xmas this ex friend was being vile to my daughter online and I raised it with the girls mother. The mother was upset as there was evidence and made her daughter apologise. But now it's going on at school. There is a 3 night overnight camping trip at Easter and the ex friend has told lots of the other girls in the class not to put my DD on the room share form.
I know this is not horrendous bullying but my DD is going so quiet and I don't know the best course of action. Do I go to the mother again, or to the school? Or just try to keep helping my daughter with positive messages??
The other girl is older by nearly a year and is an only child. My DD has special needs siblings.
Thanks xx

KatnissMellark Tue 06-Feb-18 09:50:44

Go to the school.

Amazing77 Thu 08-Feb-18 21:11:38

I would chat to your daughter's teacher about it flowers

Angela1472 Thu 08-Feb-18 21:16:35

I would go immediately to the school. It is bullying and it’s getting worse.

Tanaqui Thu 08-Feb-18 21:17:29

It isn’t absolutely bullying and go to the school- the other mother will find it hard enough if the school tell her, don’t speak to her yourself.

Well done to your dad for looking for new friends and joining brownies.

Also, you shouldn’t have to, but sometimes it does help that age group to make friends if they have something cool- they can be v self conscious about not being “babies”, so it might help your dd to make new friends if she is watching the same tv shows/ has the cool lunchbox/ hair tie- basically something to boost her confidence, or something to start a conversation about.

Tanaqui Thu 08-Feb-18 21:18:15

It IS bullying! Stupid stupid phone, so sorry! Very much definitely bullying!

harridan50 Thu 08-Feb-18 21:20:11

yes this is horrendous bullying, your daughter does not have to put up with this. Please go to the school do not minimise this.

Pixie2015 Thu 08-Feb-18 21:20:55

Agree with the others go to the school

autismmumwithafamily Thu 08-Feb-18 21:49:10

Thank you so much for the advice so far, I will go to the school after half term. My DD is so worried about making a fuss but I need this girl to be told she's a bully!! Xxx

teabag20048 Thu 08-Feb-18 21:57:22

It is bullying. How cruel telling others not to share with her. My DD is going through a similar situation, very controlling ex-best friend, when she wants to be. Speak with the teacher that way you are going through the correct channels. I hope it get sorted.

Heliophilous Thu 08-Feb-18 22:00:50

Yes, go to the school. And look up 'relational aggression' and how to deal with it. This is the technique that this bully is employing (v common with girls of this age, unfortunately) and your daughter might need some help with it all.

saladdays66 Thu 08-Feb-18 22:01:33

Did you screen shot any of the bullying on Roblox? That might be good to take to school too, show school the bully has form.

Absolutely go to school and say what’s going on. You and your dd have the right idea - finding new friends - but the bully needs to be stopped. Your poor dd.

autismmumwithafamily Fri 09-Feb-18 11:45:58

Thank you again, teabag I'm so sorry to hear your daughter has suffered the same 😢 I did screen shot one comment yes. My DD has told me her teacher has just banned all the girls from discussing rooms on this trip but that's not the point!!?!

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