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How to Boost DD’s confidence?

(5 Posts)
FirstTimeMom12 Tue 06-Feb-18 09:26:37

DD is very shy, she started Reception this year and has a couple of friends she hangs out that she knew from nursery but that is it.

She avoids other kids if they are overly confident or needs a lot of praise to speak up in big groups at school her teacher says.

How can I boost her confidence? Thinking of taking her to a scouts’ group and I was told to put her to ask from things when we go to shops etc so she gets more used to it. But it breaks my heart to see her like this. I was speaking to another mum this morning who has a very confident Girl in the same class with my DD and my DD was pulling me to just move on and go with her. I could see it was because she was feeling uncomfortable and it broke my heart.

I feel like I failed her because I was working full time before and just did not put an effort in things. But I know I may be wrong. Both DH and I tend to be very sensitive and I used to be the most shy person before when growing up. So it could just be genetic.

I do wish I could just fix everything for her which I know it’s not possible. How could I help her to be more assertive and find it easier to make friends?

Ikabod Wed 07-Feb-18 19:38:53

I feel for you. I'm trying to boost my DD's confidence too. She doesn't sound quite as shy as yours but I can certainly see similarities. Scouts sounds like a great idea. I've got a lovely book called "The Lion Inside" about a mouse who decides to be brave even though he has to do something very scary (meeting a lion). We talk about what it means to be brave, what you can achieve if you step out of your comfort zone.
I hope that helps a bit x

Acopyofacopy Wed 07-Feb-18 19:48:16

I don’t think you can force a shy child to become more outgoing!
Is she less shy with people she knows? Is she happy?

Dd was painfully shy when younger and one of her primary school teachers made it her mission “to make her come out of her shell”. Dd hated that year in primary! Similar story with a music teacher, to the point where she refused to go to lessons even though she adores playing her instrument.

We found that letting her take things at her own pace and not pushing her was the way forward. She still responds more to kindness rather than overt “cheering on”, if that makes sense.

PanannyPanoo Wed 07-Feb-18 19:54:09

Is she confident at home?
My daughter is quiet and shy at school. Doesn't offer anything at carpet time, will speak 1:1in a small group.Her peers Parents have mentioned a few times they havent heard her speak.
At home she is confident and happy and lets of know exactly what she wantsand when. She has lovely play dates at our house. But doesn't want to go to any one elses house.

I figure she will get there in the end.
Its just who see is. She is happy being her. just doesn't feel the need to advertise it!

Thetruthfairy Wed 07-Feb-18 20:07:47

I think reception is a very tough year for most children, everything is so new and overwhelming and it is no wonder your dd is clutching onto her old group. My dd tended to just play with 1 or 2 children at this age and I think most of her friends were similar- they are just finding their feet really. It doesn't make they worry any less, I know, especially if you have noticed that she is shy.
My dd loves rainbows and she has made some new school friendships there, so a club might be something to look into?
My dd is quite shy in big groups, but always has someone to play with on the playground. I'm trying not to worry too much as she seems happy in herself x

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