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Home Alone-ish(35 Posts)
I've tried to cover everything but still have doubts at the back of my mind hence this post...in case I've missed anything. I am prepared for abject personal opinions but what I would really like is constructive ideas and advise..
I have twin 17 year old boy/men
They are very mature (I'm not just saying that)
I am planning to go away for 3 weeks (long haul other side of the world stuff)
I have relatives and friends that will be staying with them for days/weeks at a time, other nights they will be home alone, which they've already mastered on several occasions without incident.
They are not your average twins, they are not in cahoots with each other and the likelihood of wild parties etc is slim as one will always dob the other in...
Is there anything else I need to consider that I might not have already thought about? Emergency contacts etc will be shared between all involved. The whereabouts of insurance policies, personal details (in case of etc) will be made apparent to the adults in charge.
Their father lives near and will do his level best to put a spanner in the works rather than provide constructive support. Sad but true.
I want to try to plan for every eventuality (where possible)
Thank you in advance
Bumping for you....
Sounds like you have thought of everything. Would ex dp not have boys? Are the twins aware of the break down of care? Eg who to talk to or go to when they need help/ money etc.
Maybe put a board up in the kitchen with numbers, contact etc.
Do they know what to do if a light bulb blows the circuit board?
I mean if a light bulb blows and you need to flip the switch on the circuit board.
Great points thank you. Emergency numbers will definitely be clearly on display. Whereabouts of fuse box, stop cock etc is all in hand.
They have good contact with my side of the family and wouldn't hesitate to call one of them if needed.
Main thing that occurred to me is having your contact details ie. hotels etc in case they need to contact you.
Someone with a spare key locally and what they should do with a plumbing emergency etc
This is what worries me I guess - that I'll forget something obvious!
The only thing probably I would think about is how will they access money (do they have accounts? will you be leaving them with money for food shopping, etc.?) and access to transportation (I'm assuming there must be a bus/train/etc. nearby and they are probably really good at using it already). I think otherwise they are probably quite mature to be able to stay on their own. I was traveling (2-6 hour flights) and staying overnight in a hotel by myself at 15 and I started uni at 17 so lived on my own full time by that age. I was fine. It sounds like they have a good head on their shoulders and will be fine as well.
I've already started menu planning and stocking the cupboards (trip is 2 months away) and they're pretty good at shopping, cooking proper meals and getting themselves from A-B etc...I was brought up to be very independent so I guess I passed it on...much to the chagrin of one of my mates with a DS the same age
2 months away or 3 weeks? Or do you mean they will be joining you at some point?
How many out of the 21 nights will be they be alone?
Aha sorry!!! You mean you're not going for another 2 months - ignore me.
my main ones would be:
key with a neighbour, someone close by, for the day they both leave and slam the door behind them....
emergency with neighbour for stuff like - the lights have all gone out and I can't remember what Mum said. So small household crises.
Then proper emergency numbers eg Grandparents for serious stuff.
I think they will be fine. They will probably enjoy it.
(last one, a list of what needs cleaning in the 2-3 days before you get back......)
My ds is 15 and will be dog sitting for 3 day (4 nights) in May. My Mum is coming over on one day, but he will be Home Alone for the rest. (we have lots of neighbours who will keep an eye, including my BF who is going to 'walk past' every day and check there are no parties going on.)
Will they check they've locked the doors, front and back before they go to bed at night?
Will they put the bins out on the right day?
I would role play a couple of complex situations, so they can practice what they would do. It might be even fun. Set up a series of cards with a sentence on them describing a scenario and then they have to act out and describe what they would do. Then you give them the next card - and the scenario worsens and they have to adjust to the new details. After you have done a couple, you could have them write a couple for each other...
So an example - first card says "you come downstairs in the morning and there is water all over the floor"
next card says "your phone is out of power, so you cant use it
next card says "stop cock is really stiff and wont turn much"
Then sit there and tell them when they are dead because they have their feet in water on the floor and they turned the light switch on!
Loving the role play idea - thank you!
They have had to change fuses and light bulbs so we have that covered, and I had to punch the back of the cupboard out under the sink that hid the stop cock some months ago due to a leak so we're good there too!!
Key with neighbour good call. Doors locked & bins days etc great - also love the cleanup list idea!
If you are not confident leaving key with a neighbour, you could hide one in the garden. When we were teens my parents had a keystone in the greenhouse, looks like a stone, has a hole in the bottom. Mum had it in the bottom of a bucket full or old plant pots etc, so really well, hidden. Only a problem if it was very dark!
You shouldn’t leave a 15 year old alone for those nights steppen.. no matter how sensible.
Two sensible 17 years olds is fine and sounds like you’ve got most stuff covered. As long as there is decent and close by support and someone popping in regularly then I think it’s fine
BatFace - why not? I did it at his age, in 6 months he could be married with a child!
Why not? He’s 15, that’s why not. It’s your call of course. He’s your child. And I’m all for 15 year olds having responsibility. However not many parents leave 15 year olds alone for several nights overnight and you’ll find that the guidelines are that you don’t do it.
Him being able to marry in six months time is neither here nor there. You’re leaving a child alone overnight for several nights. If something happens then you’ll be the one having to explain why you made that decision,
OK, legally, 6 months married and 9 month slater with a chidl, but the point is, at 16 he could be living away from home, looking afetr himself. In fact until very recently kids in care were kicked out at 16 to live on their own.
So, why can't a kid of 15 1/2 cope for 3 days with my Mum coming in half way, and the option to go and stay with her if he wants to, and 2 neighbours (one of whom is a police man, which ds knows) keeping an eye out for parties? (which isn't likely anyway)
Like I said, it’s your decision and if you’re comfortable with it, as you obviously are, then crack on.
Just be aware that you’re on dodgy ground legally that’s all. It’s not a good parenting decision in my opinion and not one I’d be making with my own children that’s for sure. We obviously just parent differently
Sounds like you've got all bases covered. Could u do an online shop for them to be delivered while your away?
I would say they are 17 not 7, and if you haven't already taught them the life skills they need to function as independent adults (shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry and at the very least how to google changing a light bulb, turning the water off etc) its about time they learned.
They could technically be married with a child of their own at this age.
just be aware that you’re on dodgy ground legally that’s all
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