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step mother in law!

6 replies

lucy2204 · 21/01/2018 18:25

my step mother in law has made it very clear I'm not good enough for her step son(my partner) we're looking to get married in 2019 and she's doing everything to make me feel unwelcome to my partners side of the family, she's slagged me off so much they all have an opinion on me. :( I feel really uncomfortable around them. even when she comes to my house she's gives me attitude, and when I snap back my partner gets huffy about it. We been together 5 years with 1 child yet she still won't accept me. She told my partner to leave me, as I'm not good for him. If I'm honest I think she just wants my son and him back home with her. :@ when we got engaged she told everyone i forced him into it.... never been so angry!! Any ideas on how to deal with here? :/ my mum and dad are no longer here so I have no one to talk to about it,. :( I don't want to make it so my son doesn't have any grand parents at all, so can't cut her out of his life. would love to but can't :( HELPPPP

OP posts:
FaFoutis · 21/01/2018 18:26

The problem, as usual, is that your partner is not standing up for you.

Chaosofcalm · 21/01/2018 18:27

Yep you have a partner problem not a MIL problem.

Try reading toxic parent in laws and getting your partner to read it too.

lucy2204 · 21/01/2018 18:30

meh, I think he's just worried, his mum died when he was younger and his dad is now really ill, his step mum has made it clear that if she doesn't see our son she won't let him know if something happens to his dad... she's a horrible witch-.-

OP posts:
Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 21/01/2018 18:33

Yes, your biggest problem is your partner.

He needs to step up and put his foot down.

You need to explain to him clearly and calmly how this making you feel. You might need to point out the repercussions of him not supporting you.... and be prepared to follow through.

His priorities are all wrong and you are not even martied yet. It doesn't bode well.

As for her, she may detect that you won't walk away so she gets away with the bad behaviour. She too needs to get the message that you won't tolerate it.

You don't need to be best friends but she needs to know her place and stop sturring the pot

Failing all that working, next time she does it in your home tell her to leave and that she is not welcome back. If it happens elsewhere, you leave and tell her why.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 21/01/2018 18:35

Just read his Dad is ill. That is another complication bearing in mind her behaviour.
But she can't allow her to hold you to ransom.
Are there any other family members you trust who could speak to her?

She sounds a bit unstable to be honest.

lucy2204 · 21/01/2018 18:42

I have my partner sister to talk to but she has the same problem with her-.- it seems if we speak to other members of the family about her they don't believe us :| ill give her 10/10 for acting... when she's near them she's an angel..... I want to cut all contact with her but my partners dad hasn't done anything wrong to me... If he comes him on his own he will never here the last of it, last time he came here alone she showed up... :/ we recently found out that she's been showing pictures of our son to people at her work place and sending them to people we don't know... when comforted about it, she cried and denied it.... which was as you could guess in front of that side of the family making me look like I'm bullying her -_- so just got shite for the rest of the day ...

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