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Dummy's for or against?

(55 Posts)
guest477337 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:24:59

We didn't want to give our DS a dummy but he's been crying so much tonight due to tummy ache, he's 7 weeks old and we've given in and given him a dummy. He straight away drifted off so I'm happy.

He's seems to have a bad tummy sometimes. But only for a few hours then it goes.

However, I know people are for and against them. Can people tell me why and if you are or not? I don't know anything about them so I honestly don't know why some people like them and some don't.

My DP was against it cause apparently it gives them bad teeth hit I've had to overrule I'm afraid and given him one.

guest477337 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:25:33

Just further information would be great, even though he know has it 😂

Also do you let them sleep with them overnight?

welshweasel Fri 12-Jan-18 21:28:15

Lowers risk of SIDS. Helps promote independent settling and sleep. What’s not to like? Once they get a bit older make sure they only have it for sleeping and not during the day/when talking.

confusedwife84 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:29:01

Hi op, dummies are much different now that before with regards to teeth. You can buy orthodontic ones that don't impact on tooth development. Using dummies also reduces SIDS risk, so a good idea if the baby will take it. My DD is 8 months old and has one for sleeping only, however she does usually spit it out at some point overnight

sarahjconnor Fri 12-Jan-18 21:29:14

I dont think many people are against them the way you use them.

My friend is a dental surgeon and see terrible damage to teeth from constant and prolonged use, they can also effect speech development and social skills long term.

Just reduce use and stop when they stop breast/bottle and it'll all be fine.

funmummy48 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:30:36

Both of mine had dummies. I discussed it with my dentist who said " you can take away a dummy but you can't take away a thumb!" I was careful to keep the dummy for nap time/bedtime though so that it didn't interfere with speech development. Once it was time to get rid of the dummies, they were put in a bag and taken to Toiys R Us where they were "exchanged" for a comforting toy! 😉

funmummy48 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:31:01

Toys R Us!! 😮

mustbemad17 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:31:02

For all the way. Aside from the SIDS risk reduction, it was the only way my DD would settle for long enough to let me pee! This time I have bought some in ready, if baby takes one yay, if s/he doesn't then okay. My DD ended up only having it for bedtime once she started sleeping properly & we have had no teeth issues etc either

ConfusedButInLove Fri 12-Jan-18 21:32:11

I am a nursery teacher and one of mone had one. My dd had a dummy and my ds never
I only ever let her have it when she was sleeping. But I would leave it with her so if she spat it out I left it beside her to find.
As soon as her teeth came in she only had it in the cot at night.
Their teeth can grow around them and they can have pronunciation problems if they speak with their dummy in.

canthavethenameiwant Fri 12-Jan-18 21:33:09

I used them for comforting generally as I'm dead against thumb sucking! I have family members who still suck there thumbs as adults and hate it! It's easy weaning them off dummies (mine were) but you can't take a thumb away when the time comes 😳

ChristinaW16 Fri 12-Jan-18 21:33:14

One of my twins loved her dodi, the other wasn't interested. The one who didn't a dummy would only sleep with her "raggy" (comforter) clenched between her teeth. M y niece meanwhile who never had any sort of comforter is now having dental problems due to a lifelong habit of sucking her thumb.

I think babies derive comfort in different ways and, personally, I was grateful of anything that soothed them when I had two crying newborns :-)

ConfusedButInLove Fri 12-Jan-18 21:34:16

Ps the cheap cherry dummies are the worst for teeth and speech problems. I would avoid they ones.

PocketCoffeeEspresso Fri 12-Jan-18 21:35:20

Dp tried to get ds1 who was, looking back, rather high needs, a dummy, but he wasn't interested in anything that didn't dispense milk, and ds2 was just chilled and didn't ne d one anyway.

If your baby takes it and settles happily, go for it. All babies are different and you should go with what works for them - be that dummies, purée weaning, co-sleeping, sleep-training, pull-ups or cold turkey potty training. There is no one true way to raise a child.

BellyBean Sat 13-Jan-18 09:19:56

Dd1 didn't gave a dummy so went the same path with dd2. She found her thumb by 8 weeks and it's her best friend. Tried desparately to swap for dummy but too late.

Use a dummy! But keep to sleep times from the start.

user1493413286 Sat 13-Jan-18 09:28:42

My DD wouldn’t take one so I was going to hold off but have found that it’s the only way for her to settle without being held all night. I only use it at nap times and during the night.

Me264 Sat 13-Jan-18 18:22:01

I was dead set against them but like you caved and gave DS one at about 6 weeks old when he just would not stop crying one night. He settled straight away and then I cried that I couldn’t comfort my own child but a piece of plastic could!

Once I got over that bit of ridiculous thinking, it was a godsend. Used it a lot until he was about 9 months, then moved to just having it for naps and nighttime, which continued until 20 months when we ditched it cold turkey one night because it had started to interfere with his sleep (it would fall out but he would just screech rather than make any effort to find it himself). Giving it up was no problem at all - about 3 difficult nights and that was it.

If I have another one, I’ll definitely be using one straight away.

PickAChew Sat 13-Jan-18 18:28:56

Both of mine were against them.

DeadButDelicious Sat 13-Jan-18 19:19:19

I had no strong feelings either way about them (I had a dummy till I was around 4, one in mouth, one in hand, no dummy related teeth issues, no speech issues) but the husband was dead set against them (had one as a baby, convinced it messed up his teeth he was an avid hand chewer/thumb sucker also). Until around day 3 of her being home and not settling at all, then he had a sudden change of heart. She's had one ever since. We use MAM ones.

She's 14 months now and only has it for nap time and bed time and for comfort if absolutely necessary. She's a fabulous sleeper for the most part and I really do think the dummy has helped with that. Her speech is coming along well, no issues there. If she manages to get hold of one when she's not supposed to have one (she hides them I swear) she doesn't make a fuss if you take it away. If I had my time over I would of given her one sooner.

skippykips Sat 13-Jan-18 19:39:30

I say a dummy is fine...if you do not become complacent with it.
My eldest didn't have one.
DD2 did. I had severe PND, she was EBF and was latched on constantly. I gave her the dummy to give me time for a bath. I will admit I became lazy with it. I didn't remove it from her mouth during the day whilst playing. She started to speak with it in too. She has so much to say, in a fantastic sentence structure - however only close family and close friends understand her.
DD3 doesn't have dummy. She is a thumb sucker! 😰
However she is more than able to talk. She is 2 next month and says words more clear than my 4 year old. I learned my lesson. Every time DD3 speaks I pop her thumb out of mouth. She is far to busy to keep her thumb in mouth while she plays during the day. Thumb in mouth all night!
However, her teeth are already forming around her thumb (even though her thumb is in less than DD2 dummy)
I think my point is, Dummies are great - if you don't mess up like me! I feel so so guilty that my beautiful DD just does not get understood. We now work so hard to teach her to talk and pronounce her words correctly.

chequeplease Sat 13-Jan-18 20:30:54

I didn't use one for first child, but will definitely use for our second!
Settles and comforts your baby and gives you a bit of freedom- sounds like a brilliant plan!
Don't give into the mum guilt- you're doing a great job!

sthitch Sat 13-Jan-18 22:47:03

I was dead against but gave in at week 3. Shattered from giving birth and not getting a bit of sleep since, lots of crying.. one night I let her suck on the bottle after she finished (I know you shouldn’t but I was just so tired of the crying) she settled and went straight to sleep, so that was it and in came the dummies.

She only has them for sleep times, I use the mam ones as they are quite thin - yes I’m worried about her teeth that will come through...(Can using dummies just for sleep really make a difference? Once she’s asleep it drops out) but she seems to be a very very sucky baby because the rest of the day, her hand is in her mouth and she sucks so hard, it has a red dry patch! I’ve also read that refluxy babies really take to dummies?

In the future, I wouldn’t go straight for the dummy, but if they needed it then I would definitely introduce. The amount of nights I’ve managed to get more sleep by just popping it back in.

Anditstartsagain Sat 13-Jan-18 22:55:51

I'm a dummy fan my 16 month old is currently being weaned off his only has it if it's going to sleep or upset now with the plan of it being gone by 2. My older child gave up his own at 10 months replaced it with his bottle and we had problems with him refusing food just wanting milk all the time. The dummy is the lesser of the comforter related problems if you ask me.

I have several dummys I swap around daily so he doesn't get attached to a certain one.

pineappleeyes Sat 13-Jan-18 22:56:48

Both my dc had them. They were a god send and gave them so much comfort. And gave me some much needed sleep.

Like someone else said up thread, our dentist also said dummies can be taken away but thumbs can't.

sycamore54321 Sat 13-Jan-18 23:04:43

The correlation with lower SIDS is a big thing for me. Also, a tiny baby only really wants a few things. I figured if my baby really wanted to suck, and derived comfort from it, then the dummy was ideal.

Not on this thread but I find non-dummy parents sometimes very judgemental and talk about "shoving in a dummy without bothering to find out what's really wrong". To any parent who has ever used a dummy knows, it only works when nothing else is wrong - if the baby is cold, hungry, uncomfortable etc, they will continue to let you know it, even after you offer dummy.

rachrach2 Sat 13-Jan-18 23:20:17

I don't particularly like dummies but was prepared to use one if I felt my child would benefit (like yours) and would have used them for sleep time only. I kept an open mind.

I asked numerous midwives/health visitors and they all said the reduction in SIDS was negligible (if at all) and we were doing everything else to minimise risks so they said that needn't influence our decision either way (it was the one thing that made me question it).

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