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What was the harder transition - going from 0-1 children or 1-2 children?

(76 Posts)
WhyTheHeckMe Fri 12-Jan-18 18:43:39

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with dc2. Ds1 will be 2 + 3 months when the baby is due.
Just wondering if you found it harder going from no kids to 1 or if you found going from 1-2 worse? !

Fitzsimmons Fri 12-Jan-18 18:45:46

0-1 definitely harder for me. I had no idea what I was doing with DS and got frustrated with all the things I couldn't do anymore. DD just seemed to slot in and I was a lot more confident and relaxed.

restbiterepeat Fri 12-Jan-18 18:47:50

0-1, only superceded by 2-3. 1-2 was fine.

Flomper Fri 12-Jan-18 18:48:06

0-1 definitely. Nothing was ever as physically hardbor mentally draining again, hence why i did it 3 more times.smile (not to say that was all a walk in the park, of course ...)

Vonklump Fri 12-Jan-18 18:52:32

As per restbiterepeat, I found 0-1 the worst until I had 2-3.

2cats2many Fri 12-Jan-18 18:52:37

Both difficult in different ways.

0-1 total shock. Absolutely exhausted.
1-2 much harder on my relationship. We weren't 'a couple with a baby' anymore, we were a family of 4 and that came with different expectations and requirenents. It nearly split us up.

TepidCat Fri 12-Jan-18 18:53:51

Probably not what you want to hear but I was floored because I thought it would be easy going from 1-2 - I found it very difficult but it totally depends on your children and how easy you found 0-1. Non sleeping baby plus a 2 year old struggling to come to terms with a sibling is HAAARD! I had found 0-1 relatively easy and remember wondering what all the fuss was about - it came back to bite me in a big way so it’s swings and roundabouts

Belleende Fri 12-Jan-18 18:55:43

1 to 2. Juggling the needs of a toddler and a new born is mind numbingly challenging. Most of it is toddler wrangling, so may have happened anyway.
Both of us are also getting more selfish about getting down time as we need it, so there is a lot more negotiation in our relationship and zero time for us.

Wallofglass Fri 12-Jan-18 18:57:27

1-2 definitely. Someone told me it was easier with two. No way!

yomellamoHelly Fri 12-Jan-18 19:03:57

0-1 Ds1 was a nightmare baby though. Ds2 was an angel - slept well, ate well, happy...... Couldn't believe the difference.

Lules Fri 12-Jan-18 19:09:36

0-1 definitely. With 0-1 my life completely changed, from 1-2 there’s just more stuff to do. It’s tiring and sometimes stressful of course but I feel like I know what I’m doing most of the time.

Cupcakegirl13 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:14:09

1-2 here , I think it comes down a lot to what type of baby you get , number 1 here was a chilled sleeper number two was a non sleeping screamer grin. Now on the 2-3 transition and I'd say that's not too bad probably wins middle place !!

nooka Fri 12-Jan-18 19:14:59

One to two for us. Mainly because we had a very small age gap but also because ds was an easy baby and dd really was not.

AthenaAshton Fri 12-Jan-18 19:18:08

0-1. Subsequent ones were just more of the same (apologies to my subsequent DC... grin)

mommathatwearspink Fri 12-Jan-18 19:18:55

Without an absolute doubt, the transition from 1-2 children was the hardest for us.

GreyMorning Fri 12-Jan-18 19:19:35

1 to 2 has been easier than I thought, easier than one for sure.

wiltingfast Fri 12-Jan-18 19:19:49

1-2, but it was a 21m gap.

Baby 1 was also v easy but turned into toddler from hell just as baby 2 arrived.

ColdTeddy Fri 12-Jan-18 19:24:52

1-2 was much harder but my second child was an absolute nightmare for the first year of his life, so it was mainly due to that. And despite my best efforts dc1 seemed intent on killing his younger sibling. I remember the feeling of relief at bedtime that I'd managed to keep the baby alive for another day grin.

I have friends/family with similar age gap between dc1 and 2 who had very different experiences though, so I suppose you don't know what you're going to get until it's here!

RatOnnaStick Fri 12-Jan-18 19:25:25

We found 0-1 much harder at the beginning just because our lives were turned completely upside down. I felt far more confident when Ds2 was born. There's no doubt that 1-2 is logistically more complicated though. Trying to juggle two different nap/eat schedules is hard when they are constantly changing.

What did help going from 1-2 was (after the first week or two) keeping a routine with Ds1 of toddler group, nursery and swimming each week. I hated toddler groups the first time round but towards the end of my second pregnancy and once he was born the knowledge that once or twice a week I could let Ds1 run wild and play while I sat down with a cup of tea, some adult conversation and someone else cooed over the baby was a bloody godsend.

littlepooch Fri 12-Jan-18 19:29:17

1 to 2 without a doubt

Ilovewillow Fri 12-Jan-18 19:29:29

0-1 definitely harder, I hope as clueless! No. 2 slots into your existing routines. My eldest was 5 when I had my second and she was at school so no.2 had to fit in to accommodate schools runs, after school activities etc. You are also much more confident in your ideas and more flexible in your approach!

littlepooch Fri 12-Jan-18 19:29:52

I did have a relatively small age gap though

Lovelymonkeyninetynine Fri 12-Jan-18 19:30:43

1-2 ten billion times harder. But v colicky second baby and no childcare or family around to help. Pfb was 2 and an angel with the baby but I found the tiredness and trying not to change his life too much really hard.

PotteringAlong Fri 12-Jan-18 19:32:02

0-1 was really hard. 1-2 was fine. 2-3 completely pole axed us in a way I wasn’t expecting and was definitely the hardest transition.

jamaisjedors Fri 12-Jan-18 19:32:14

0-1 éventuellement though Ds1 was an "easy" baby.

Mind you ds2 had reflux and that nearly finished off my marriage...

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