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Making mummy friends(5 Posts)
I started writing this frustrated then it sounded a bit angry and ranty. I think I just needed a bit of a rant and get it off my chest.
Any tips on making mummy friends when you have two under two!?
My baby - 16 weeks is a dream. My 23 month old is strong willed (like most 2 year olds), can speak really well for his age and is a bit like the duracell bunny. He likes to be up, active and engaged in everything. Not a bad thing...at home..
However, when you are at a group meeting new parents/children and the toddler doesn't want to sit down and doesn't want to share - I feel like I have a feral child and I suddenly can't parent. Then at the end of the group, the other new person with the child that just sits has the other mummy's talk to her - I feel so crap about myself. I question why that is.
1. Is it me? - I'm not a self absorbed person but that is always my first thought. I smile - not in a desperate deer in the headlights way but in a friendly how-do-you-do way. There is so a difference!
2. Do they think I am a bad mum because my son would rather run around than wave a tassle in the air?
3. I understand that no one is born knowing how to share and behave. I work bloody hard at disciplining my son. There are no empty threats. But why is it ok for your child to snatch? I apologise.. wtf!?
4. Do they think that their kids shouldn't be friends with mine.
5. I need to socialise my son (and me) so why wouldn't they say hello. We have moved to a small community- we're going to bump into each other more at some point!
I don't know what I am saying - sleep deprived and feeling like I can't parent.
I have twins and I didn't get any mummy friends until they started school. Like you, I did try but I was just too busy with my boys, one in particular was into everything.
It's hard lovely, sorry I've no advice. It does get easier though I promise. My boys are 6 now and I have lots of lovely mummy friends
Yes agree! My son is absolutely mad when I take him to playgroups people just look at me.. I don't know whether they feel sorry for me or whether they wish we would just bog off and get my son to stop snatching toys. For me I met someone on Facebook first and then had one on one play dates in our houses which was much better. We could relax in a more child friendly environment. How you would go about meeting someone now I'm not sure.. I'm sure there are websites for Mummy friends
Small communities can be difficult to begin with, everyone else is familiar with each other. It can take a while. Maybe now the New Year/back to school rush & gossip is over they will be more inclusive.
But I bet it's not your parenting, I don't know anyone whose child hasn't snatched, pushed or refused to share on occasion.
Can you start with one person, maybe a neighbour and work out from there?
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