Third child or not?

[Bluemoon88]

I know this has been discussed many times, and whenever I see a thread about this topic I instantly click on it for a read!

I really need to just vent my confused feelings. Maybe someone can work out how I really feel about it all.

Basically me and DH had always said we wanted 3 or 4 children. When DS1 hit toddlerhood that 3 or 4 became a definite 3 and no more. I always pictured us having atleast 3.

...but DC2 has been just as difficult a toddler as DC1 (I hoped she'd be easier as she was a girl and my parents told me how easy me and my sister were! Hahaha!!) And now I'm not so sure. I would be so glad to be out of this phase of toddler tantrums, defiant behaviour, potty training etc and also she starts nursery next year and I will finally get some time to myself again! (I've been a SAHM since DD was born. She is 2.7 years old) We don't need to worry about nap times anymore which we'd have to go back to doing. DD sleeps badly as well waking up as early as 4am, which is killing us! (I realize some have it worse)

I don't know what to do. I can see the positives for moving into the next 'phase' when both are at school and I get some time to myself again, maybe get a part time job and it will be easier going out and about.

I also feel sad about never being pregnant again and never holding my own newborn again, especially as I didn't expect DD to be my last so didn't think of everything as the last time I'd be doing it IYKWIM. I know people say you never regret having a child.

I seem to really enjoy ages 0-2 and then 4+ but not so good with the terrible twos/threenager years and would be quite glad to never experience them again!

Argh!! I have no idea what I want!! DH would be happy either way.

[cakeymccakington]

I'd wait. I have a biggish gap between 3 and 4 because I thought 3 was enough but then it wasn't ;-)
I think you'll know when you are ready for number 3.

I still get so nostalgic over my newborns and I don't think that will ever go away. But I've realised that what I want is just to go back and experience them being tiny again, rather than having a whole new baby

[Bluemoon88]

Thank you for your reply. Do you mind me asking how long you waited between 3 and 4 and if it worked well?

[cakeymccakington]

Ds3 was nearly 5 when ds4 was born.
It has worked remarkably well actually.
The older ones all dote on the "baby" and because they're in school it means I have lots of time with ds4 on his own (which the poor middle 2 never got lol)

If I was doing the whole thing again I'd have bigger gaps (than I had) between all of them