Childcare for 11-13 year old

[40yearsyoung]

Hi all,
Just wondering what childcare arrangements you have in place for after school care for secondary age children? My son will be starting secondary school in 2019 but he is quite immature and an anxious child and i cant see him being ready to let himself in and be home alone after school. I work 3 days a week and won't be home until 6pm and he'll be home from school by 3. I may be over thinking this and he may well be ready by the time he starts but a childminder for an 11 year old seems unusual. At the moment he goes to after school club, which he is fine with, but they don't seem to offer the same provision at secondary. Thoughts and suggestions welcome x

[Muchtoomuchtodo]

Our eldest is in year 7 and it's not an easy age. He's very sporty and is staying for training/fixtures or clubs most nights of the week for at least an hour. Having said that now that the clocks have changed, I'm not keen for him to be walking home by himself as it's about a 40 minute walk - how far will you be from the secondary school?

Do you have any friends with older DC who would be willing to come home with him for a bit?

[DonnyAndVladSittingInATree]

So he is 9 now? 9 is very different than 11. He will do so much growing up in two years, trust me. And you have 2 years to work on his independence, his life skills etc.

How come his school ends so early that he will be home by 3? Does he have to take a bus/walk from school? It’s likely they will have after school programmes in secondary. Sports clubs, music clubs, computer clubs homework clubs etc.

[Josieannathe2nd]

I’m planning on 6th formers meeting them at home for year 7. Although I remember a friend of mine doing the looking after as a teenager and while the year 7 was safe and amused I think that she was not a good influence and didn’t really want to be there, but wanted the money and it fizzled our after a term as the year 7 got more confident. Pick your older child carefully and be specific about what you want them to do, if you go down that route.

Otherwise, it’s like having a baby again- can you change your hours? Do you have a partner and one go in early and one leave early or WFH for a few hours at the end of the day?

[ReinettePompadour]

2019 is a long time away and children mature hugely during their last year at primary school. High schools work closely with the primary schools to prepare the students for a more independent life too. You have plenty of time to start allowing him time alone at home and walking to shops without you along with independent bus journeys etc. The best thing you can do is start preparing early. Discuss what will happen after school, show him how to safely prepare basic food and drinks. Explain about emergency contacts etc. Do this now and by the time he starts high school he will be very well prepared.

I would be surprised if you could find a childminder for him at that age in any case. Generally high school aged children should be able to occupy themselves with homework while waiting for you to get home.

[Sofabitch]

Mine have been fine. They just come in and let themselves in. Make something to eat and watch tv do homework etc.

They mature a lot between 9 and 11.

[drspouse]

My friend's DD went to their CM after school in Y7. I think she got herself there though!

[ny20005]

My ds is 11 & due to start high school next year. His afterschool club have said that usually after Christmas, they start going home one day a week.

I'm lucky that my friend lives across the road & is sahm so if he needs anything, he can go there.

He will still go to childminder in the mornings as I couldn't trust him to get up & go to school

[scrabbler3]

In Y6, they'll start preparing him and his peers to be more independent. The "immature" aspect that you mention will disappear. You'll definitely notice the difference.

However, you also mention anxiety. Is this being treated? It could be a problem, in which case maybe paying a sixth former to come home with him for the first couple of terms might be a good idea, assuming he doesn't resent it.

Childminders don't really take Y7s. I don't think there's a lot of call for it. Most kids can be at home for a couple of hours by then.

[40yearsyoung]

Thanks everyone, this is really helpful and you've confirmed my suspicions about what is achievable and realistic in terms of managing his independence. The school does finish particularly early but it's less than 5 mins from home and they do offer a homework club. There are other parents from primary who's children will be attending and I will ask around about possibly swapping childcare with them one afternoon a week for the first term. It doesn't help that he's recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia which has made me feel slightly over protective and anxious on his behalf (although have kept these feelings from him, obviously) and we are seeking support from an OT.
Thanks again.